General Chat

Somtimes better than that!!!!!!! lol

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They wrote I will survive as our theme tune ........... LOL :-))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Just that some bird called gloria recorded it first. lol

you women have a song but what about us men that have been there ??

It's the same song for all of us Malc ................. :-))))))))))))))))))))))))

From what I remember It would be ok for you to sing malc no refs to he or she in it. BUT I AM REALLY CR*p at singing so if any good ladies would like to lead the way!!!

Well in my absolutely favourite film, Pricilla Queen of the Desert, a group of blokes sang it ................. LOL :-)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

who wrote that song about domestic violence it really stuck in my mind but the artist has gone ' my name is Luca, i live on the second floor, i live upstairs from you, yes i guess youve seen me before' anyone know? sue c x

Your a nice Guy Malc like I said earlier I know men who have been in that position, you are 6ft 3' and somebody a female takes advantage of that even though she is a foot smaller ,because she knows you are a nice guy and would NEVER HIT A WOMAN! sorry her behaviour stinks! Dave

There is nothing worse than being on the phone pleading with the police to come and help you and that yes you will take him to court and they don't come - all of this whilst he was busy smashing furniture and kids were screaming. This was 30 years ago. Ann

What about when you call the police for help having driven off in the car to escape, wait ages for the Police to come, they escort you back to the house and he swears he won't do it again, then realises the policeman is his old mate from years back? There they stand discussing their previous divorces, and the report never got to the Domestic Violence dept even tho I chased it, wanted it noted so he didn't get away with it if it happened again. Doesn't always need to have had the secret drink he sometimes has, anything can trigger it off, even a tv programme he doesn't agree with can make him turn cos he knows it will be something I am ok with, i.e. is convinced that anyone with a non english sounding name can't be British and therefore is not entitled to be in this country. Once went into one when we were watching 'London's Burning'. It showed a foreign embassy in London burning down and because of protocol, the firemen were not allowed in until permission had been gained. o.h. went mental and screamed and raged at the tv, saying let them burn, if they won't let the firemen in, they should go away again. I slipped up and said something like 'Don't be daft' and that was the spur he needed to take it out on me! One day I will be in a position to leave.

Dear Purple - don't stay too long - if you have children - you may find out that in the long run you did them more harm than good by staying. Take care and hugs. (All I had to do was breathe - that was excuse enough).

Ann, thanks, no children here, all grown up, his two and my one. I am in my late 50's, he is supposed to be my toy boy at only 52. Well I know who will end up a drunken recluse, and it won't be me!!! One day I will make a big announcement on here, just not able to practically and financially at the mo. Liz

I was a victim of domestic violence to but my ex never drunk at all but it shouldn't happen to any one be it male or female and the person who it happens to should stand up and tell or they will never be free

Reading all these replies, makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Any form of violence is unexceptable. Domestic violence is frightening as it happens behind closed doors and the victim hides the fact that they are being abused . I was beaten by my ex husband many times through out my marrage to him, but didn't tell anyone, would make excuses for the black eyes etc.I know now that people knew, but at the time i thought i had hidden it well. I have both men and women in my centre who have come in to escape violent partners, half of them go back to their abusers only to return a few months later. the fear of how they will cope finacially is the main reason they go back.I try to explain once the money situation is sorted out, benifits etc, they will probably find they are better off. They will get rehoused and beable to start a new life, i have many that come back and see me and say how glad they were they listened to me. It is hard to leave a home you have lived in for a long time. I know believe me, but it is only bricks and mortor, where ever you live it is you that make it a home. I think what i am trying to say is, if you are living with violence then get out now, don't wait years for the right time , the right time is now. And even more so if there are children involved. Don't waste your life thinking about it do it. And i can assure you there are as many men come to my centre as there are women who have been battered, my last one was a 75yr old man that had been punched and kicked by his wife and daughter. Shirley Ann.

Purple - a piece of advice is don't rely on the police to report incidents..... go to your doctor and get it put in your medical history!! the doctor can then give all the details if needed to in court. This advice was given to many at the refuge I stayed in so it is legal!! xx

That is very true pink, also it helps when you apply for housing if you have it on record at your docs, and also if you have records that it was reported to the police. Shirley Ann.

Lyn, It is frustrating i know, but this is all these people have known, to them it is normal, i know when i was in that situation i just couldn't see a way out, as i loved my hubby and couldn't imagine being without him, so i made excuses for him, and hoped he would change. Of course he never would and who was i kidding, but it is easy for me to say now 40 yrs on.i did get out but the ironic thing was he left me for someone else. Thank god i say now. Over the past 2 or 3 yrs i have been having the next generation coming through the centre, these were children when i last saw them, it is such a dreadful shame. I really don't think there will ever be an end im sad to say.