General Chat

Yes, Mel, we went to the citizens advice or tried to but apparently it shut down two years ago. I'm going to wait a while then depending on what Sandra tells me, if it's necessary, I'll contact SS. At the moment I don't want to rock the boat as Michael sends the police around here every time he doesn't get what he wants and it's not helping my anxiety levels. I've been rather poorly these past few days and I'm sure it's down to all the stress I'm under.

I've had a nervous breakdown in the past and things got so bad the other week I felt like I was on the verge of having another one, which I really don't want especially with OH having a job and when he starts being on my own for long periods of time. The last thing I want is to jeopardise OH's job by having to have him here to look after me.

I'm just about keeping it together at the moment and Sandra seems okay after speaking with her the other day. If of course Sandra isn't okay I'll move heaven and earth to get her back here, but she wants to stay where she is and if I force her to come back she may never forgive me, she'll only go back to Michelle and I may lose Sandra altogether. I'm just keeping an eye on the situation and will act accordingly if necessary, but at the moment things don't seem to be effecting her.

It's difficult to know what to do when I'm not thinking straight and I don't want to make the situation worse. The help I need starts on 9th March, so hopefully I'll start to understand by anxiety better and know how to handle it. I'm having nightmares and not eating as well as I was, although I have found a recipe for a quiche I made years ago with corned beef, carrots, onions and cottage cheese, so that's in the oven now and I have lots of things lined up to do once OH starts work next week as I've found all my craft making kits.

I'm just taking each day as it comes and hoping I'm doing the right thing. I know Michael will cause lots of trouble for me if I get anyone else involved, unless I can prove they're not looking after Sandra properly, which I can't do at the moment. All I can do is wait and play the long game, but as soon as I know Sandra isn't happy things will move very fast, that I'm very sure of. It's all about Sandra and her happiness, if that changes like I said I will move heaven and earth to help her. I think that's all I can do at the moment. They're already saying horrible things to try and persuade Sandra to stay with them, so I don't want to give them an excuse to bad mouth me further. I don't want Sandra to be piggy in the middle.

Afternoon all, We also have a horrible wet and windy day. When is it going to end. ??

I had another reasonable night again last night, but with this weather, there is no way I am venturing out.

Gill, As we all agree, you need to ask for HELP from S.S. They are there for such matters as this. Don't put it off please. Nice to know OH has his references and P 45. You are bound to feel better, knowing he is working and bringing in an income. GOOD LUCK to him, from me.

Those card holders are very good. Ros bought some from COOPERS mail order, they held all our Christmas cards, and hung on the door.

I have just bought two war books from Ebay by Deamon Lewis. I am almost finished the S.S. one all about the special survices Parachutist's during the 2nd war. He is such a good writer.

One good thing about having false teeth, I don't have to scrub and clean them. I put them in Sterident three nights a week. So I don't make a mess on any glass. lol lol

I hope our Jane is comfortable and in a good place. (mentally) I know she always seems to be very positive. Bless you Jane. xxx

Casserole beef, mash, cabbage, carrots and runner beans tonight. Ros is at Choir tonight. So I will watch my POLICE programmes, I must record her Emmerdale, or I will be in her bad books. lol lol.

ee you later girls, please stay safe if out in this horrible weather. xxx

Gill I have to admit that one thing confuses me. I know how hard it is to qualify for carers allowance, there are surely lots of hoops to go through. And when it was awarded I assume Social services would have been involved, and maybe at other times during the years. How then can you just stop the benefit and Michelle take it over. Haven't social services got to vet them to see if they are competent to be carers?

I am also very concerned for you that Michael seems to have such a hold over you. He is not even family, does he work for the police or something that he can get them to visit you? How often has that happened?

It is good that you seem to be accepting that (as you think) Sandra is happy where she is. I hope that really is the case then you can relax. But it would be better if you were to actually hear again from Sandra.

I am pretty sure that they can't sell your house without your agreement when it will all have to be done through solicitors of course. I am also not sure that they can just put Sandra on the rent if she is classed as vulnerable adult.

Good that OH has got his references sorted out, he will be happy now when he can actually start work. What sort of craft packs have you found to keep you occupied when he is at work? I am sure you will soon fill the days.

Frank pleased that you had a good sleep and feel OK today despite the horrible weather, actually the sun is shining here now but it chucked it down this morning when we were at Dobbies.

Dobbies was a waste of time anyway as, when we got there we realised that they are doing a massive refit of the cafe and children's play area. We did manage to have a coffee albeit in cardboard cups in a small cafe area. But they didn't have the tots we wanted, or the slabs for the garden, and it was difficult to find much else as well as the whole shop was being re-organised. this is going on until the end of March.

Mel, did you remember the library?

Yes thank you Anng. Did that and then had a little go with my clay and then did lunch. Our elderly neighbour Les was'nt at the library the girl said he had just dropped his books off but did'nt look for new ones as he was'nt feeling very well. After lunchI called in on him to make sure he did'nt need anything as I was going up the shop to get our scripts but he was ok and felt better now. I made sure he had our number and I took his again as I can't find where I put it.

Going into Les's I had to paddle across very wet running with water grass and got two wet feet because my shoes arn't waterproof. I have just taken my socks off and had mud on them it was that bad.

First talking book I tried would'nt play properly so thats going back next time. I have three others so its ok they should last me the month till it comes again.

Michael is a very good story teller so must of said something for the police to come around, he's had them here a few times so now I fear the door bell going and keep looking outside all the time to see if there is a police car. I know it's daft but at the moment my anxiety levels are quite high, this is another reason I don't want to get SS involved for fear of what might happen next.

No AnnG he doesn't work for the police, he's out of work at the moment and has been since last year, he won't work unless it's something he wants to do according to Sandra as he's told her and as a result has only had a couple of interviews for jobs which he didn't get. This is why we think they've taken Sandra so they can live off her money, but it's only something we think at the moment as we don't have any proof of this yet.

As for carers allowance, I can't remember how I got it, I think it was done through SS at the same time Sandra qualified for what was then DLA (Disability Living Allowance) which I think is called PIP now. It was so long ago I can't remember any checks on me being done.

I have a number of craft kits including crocheting, learn how to paint in water colour and some sewing kits and embroidery and also a weaving kit. I'm quite looking forward to having the time to look at them, I was always so busy keeping Sandra occupied anything I wanted to do never happened. It does feel strange being able to do what I want when I want without feeling guilty or that I should be spending my time with Sandra. I also have lots of books I've had bought me over the years I've never read and lots of DVD to watch, so plenty to keep me occupied for a while. I also want to do some baking and try and few recipes out I found earlier, I just need to adjust them to fit the two of us now but that shouldn't be to hard. The one thing I do know about is cooking and baking after being trained earlier in life. I even made a meal for Prince Charles back in the day.

gill just one thing on the subject of Michael. Presumably when the police have come they have gone away without taking it further? You do realise that if he does this without provocation that is bullying behaviour and is harassment. there are laws against that now and the police should be aware of that. I assume before he sent the police it was todo with Sandra. As she is no longer with you I think you have nothing to fear from the police and if he sends them again for no reason you should not be frightened to go to a solicitor. and if he is controlling like that with you is he like it with Michelle? He sounds like somebody I would not like. I hope you hear from Sandra soon or we will begin to think He is using his persuasive powers to stop her.

The crafts all sound good and also all the books you have to read. How did the quiche turn out.It sounds tasty.

I've never liked Michael which is why Michelle and I fell out a few years ago. I wouldn't have him in our home, so she sent me a nasty text telling me if I didn't except Michael in my life then she didn't want me in hers and we never spoke again until the police arrived to take Sandra away which was over a year later. I still don't trust him and do wonder what he's going to do and say next.

OH and I are trying to keep out of things and just wait for Sandra to ring us, although if I haven't heard from her by the weekend I'll ring her. I'm hoping Michael or Michelle haven't taken her phone off her or we'll have no way of contacting her.

Yes the quiche turned out lovely and I had some for lunch with some bread and butter. It's quite a simple recipe, it's just a tin of corned beef mixed with one grated carrot and onion which you spread over the bottom of a baking tin, then mix together two small pots of cottage cheese with 2 eggs and some herbs and pour that over the corned beef mixture then bake on gas mark 4 for about an hour. It's nice with a salad or chips if you prefer. Normally I have it with salad in the summer but fancied it today and there's enough for tomorrow to as OH doesn't like cottage cheese.

I've got some mince so thought I'd make a few cottage pies and freeze them, it'll give me something to fill my days and also save me cooking when OH is at work, I can't see cooking for one being much fun, OH will be working from 8am to 8pm when he's on days and doesn't like cottage pies. He's a fussy eater, but I'm used to it now after being with him for almost 35 years.

I don't think Michelle could claim for carers allowance for Sandra as you have to work for so many hours with them and that takes into account dressing them and washing them which Sandra can do for herself. Alright cooking but does she do her own washing and ironing? I had to fill out a huge form when I got it for mum. They time everything.

Did'nt you say before Christmas that you had to fill out some forms for Sandra for her benifits or something for another year or so? Does her money go straight into her bank? and you used to get it out for her when she needed it?

Evening all,

Another blustery day ,as here was a nice blow i hung all the bedding out ,i was busy indoors when i happened to look out and saw all the washing hanging over the wall ,the retractable bit that pulls the line in had come away from the wall and every thing was hanging over the wall and on the roses ,i had to go out the gate and push it all back over the wall ,hat a job ,luckily not one thing got dirty i think because it was nearly dry ,if it had been wet it would have collected the dirt .

Yesterday we had Chelsea here tomorrow Katie is coming and staying the night ,we'll take her home on saturday .

Gill i see your trying keeping your self busy with some cooking ,good idea to freeze some that way when your busy in the garden you'll have some thing easy to eat .
Will OH have a meal at work ?

Oh Mel muddy socks ,sounds as if your shoes will need drying out too .
That was nice of you to check on your neighbour .

Frank that was good you got a good nights sleep last night ,i see you've been buying books so i take it your eye is still ok now

We had hail/rain this afternoon and it went over so dark but the evenings are pulling out it was still quite light at five o'clock tonight .

Evening All,

I slept really well last night and feel much better after a lie in too!

I understand it must be very hard for you with all the worry Gill, but you really need advice. I have had panic attacks in the past through worry brought on by family and know how horrid the symptoms are. I became very scared of going out in case I had one. You should really see your doctor and ask to be put on an anxiety course where they will teach you coping techniques which may help.

Carers Allowance is only awarded in respect of people on benefits like eg DLA, PIP and Attendance Allowance. The conditions for getting it are that the carer must provide at least 35 hours a week of care and their net pay has to be below a certain amount if they work. I don't know if they do any follow up checks after it is awarded, but they may well do on things like hours worked.

I'm glad you have found some craft kits you can make up. It's better to keep yourself occupied and baking sounds a good idea with you being skilled at it. :-D You will get used to your OH being back at work after the first few weeks and the clocks change next month and there will be lighter nights and the garden to do which will keep you busy..

Mel, everyone on DLA is gradually being swapped over to PIP (Personal Independent Payment) and it was those forms that Gill had to send off for Sandra some time ago.

Oh Mandy it was a good job the washing was dry but what a game trying to get it back over the wall again. I bet the rose thorns were wanting to hang onto it! It sounds like you will be kept busy by the girls tomorrow. Do you have anything planned for them to do or will they bring things with them. I bet Max will be excited to see them. :-)

Gill, I am glad you are getting help with your problems with going out. I believe counselling and learning coping mechanisms can be very helpful in dealing with panic attacks. I am sure with help you will learn to “manage” your panic and anxiety. Make sure you keep your doctor up to date with how you are feeling so that he can adjust your anti-depressants to the best level for you and try not to bottle things up but come and talk on here. We might not be experts but we are all friends and will listen and offer you moral support. Beyond that I am loath to give advice as I have no experience in this sort of thing and don’t know all the rules and regulations. The access to Sandra’s money and how it might be used does worry me. I do think you really need to talk to someone qualified to help. Is there a CAB in another town that would chat to you by phone? Or could you try a different solicitor as the first one didn’t ring back?

I hope you are feeling a lot better now Jane.

Mel, that was an interesting post about Reckitt’s Blue Bags. My mum always used them and always called them dolly bags.

Ann, I hope your OH’s cough is much improved now. I had to laugh at you and AnninG (I think) with your OHs being untidy in the bathroom. Mine is pretty untidy generally EXCEPT in the bathroom. He is neurotic about the showers in particular. Every square inch of shower tray, tiles, glass doors etc is gone over with a squeegee, then wiped with a cloth and dried. It seems to take forever for him to have a shower and it drives me mad.

I laughed at Lacey with her dolly and its nappy Mandy. I think it’s lovely the things the littl’uns come out with. Jane mentioned the Tiny Tears Doll. My daughter had one but I don’t think she played with it very much. She had a doll’s pram and cot and a couple of dolls but was never really a dolly girl. The only thing of that sort that she loved was “Brown Ted” and I believe she still has that.

Pleased you had another reasonable night Frank and are enjoying your books.

I had a better night last night as well and my back is a lot easier today. It’s aching now but I have had a fairly hectic day and haven’t had to use a heat pad or take extra painkillers, just some ibuprofen.

I had a lovely day yesterday. Our pub lunch for 11 was very good - even the picky, fussy one for whom I had to order a non-standard meal ate every bit and said how much she enjoyed it. Then 10 of us came back to my house and we had trifle, cakes and tea with lots of chat and laughter. I opened my cards and gifts from the ones who were there so I could thank them and they could all see what the others had bought (this is how we usually do it). We don’t go over the top and generally stick to gifts for £10 or under but it is surprising what you can find if you look around. I had a couple of lots of smellies, 3 vouchers, a book with a thin soft bag of pens and pencils, a window hanging thing and an insulated lunch bag in a pretty fabric. I’ve kept my other cards that have come in the post to open on Monday.

Today we had our usual Thursday coffee with the group and I had planned to do my weekly shop this afternoon and have tomorrow free to do whatever I feel like, but I had a phone call from my cousin to say she and her husband were in Suffolk and would like to visit us this afternoon. So it was a quick dash to Waitrose to buy another cake. When they arrived they came with some flowers and yet another cake!
All I can say is I am all caked out. They only stayed a couple of hours as they had a table booked at their hotel for dinner. We have just had egg and chips; neither of us had the energy to do anything fancier.

EDIT. Sorry Mandy and Ann, I missed your last posts because I typed this before you posted but have just realised I didn’t press “submit” so I’ve only just done it.

Vera where did you see about Lacey and her doll as I could'nt find that on any post?

I had a good afternoon on my clay and oh said he was going to have beans on toast tonight so I did'nt have to cook. In the end he had two scotch eggs and beans and then three slices of toast with ginger preserve. I had beans on toast.

Hope Jane is feeling a bit better today and we will hear from her soon. Sending love and wishes. <3 <3 <3

There's something I keep meaning to tel you but hwen I post I can't remember what it is!! Now I know I am going senile.

We had sunshine all afternoon and when I wnet up for our scripts it was sunshine and sleet.

Oh mel. I am glad you daid that about the doll as I thought I had missed it.

For somebody who didn't want much your OH ate quite a bit!!

Mel, the men in white coats are coming for me as I have obviously lost the plot :-S
I thought I’d only read it a couple of days ago so I looked back 6 days and couldn’t find the post. OMG Did I dream it?

Then I realised what must have happened. A couple of days ago I clicked on the thread to read the latest posts and after reading a couple it dawned on me that something wasn’t right. When I looked properly I saw that either GR or my system had got the gremlins in and hadn’t taken me to the last page but had plonked me in the middle of the thread somewhere. I think, though I’m not sure, that it was in 2017 or 18. I reckon I must have read about Lacey there and it stuck in my mind. When I was typing my post I was thinking it was something I had just read. Of course if I had been thinking clearly I would have remembered how old Lacey is and how unlikely it is she would have said that now. Does any of this make sense?

SORRY TO ANYONE ON THE THREAD WHO HAS BEEN CONFUSED. Put it down to the painkillers I’ve been taking. They’ve addled my brain.

Good morning all, yet another grey start to the day. Tesco shop so that is a thrill to look forward to. Thanks Vera for giving me a chuckle on the grey morning. At least this time it is not my brain that is addled. We can blame the GR system!!! :-D

I am on the run down now to two horrible days, tuesday and Wednesday next week. Dentist for second deep clean, tuesday, and then op with stitches on my wrist on Wednesday. Neither of which will be too bad when they happen but cause nightmares in the anticipation. Then a few days after that I start the 6 weeks of using the Aldara cream on my back (or OH does) which is a real bind and inconvenience and, if you read about the cream you can see it can cause strange side effects. So I am trying not to have any moments when I have time to think. :-) :-) difficult when you wake up in the night. Still I did have a good night last night which is something. And what I have is absolutely a walk in the park next to what you are going through Jane. <3

Morning AnnG and all.

Well I thought I was going mad for a moment there about the post of Lacey and her dolls nap[py. I too thought it a bit strange for her age to be playing with dolls still. I must admit in the past week I have had the dreaded ERROR page three times so perhaps it was GR's fault Vera.

Another grey day here this morning after yesterdays afternoon of sunshine. Makes you want more of the same. Oh greeted me this morning "we have another week of this weather".

I really must put some of my batterys on charge I have a collection on my desk of 8 rechargables thats two lots for the machine to charge. I just keep forgetting to do them. Whole desk needs a good clean so I think thats a job for today, if I don't get sidetracked............

Anng had a resonable night, I found it a bit hard to drop off but I hope most of you had a nights sleep.

5 eggs again yesterday but Em is having two dozen a week now so they soon go. May make a quiche today so thats a couple more used up.

Have you all been blown away????

Its blowing like mad here but at the moment its dry.

Vera I know what I was going to say about your white towels. Try baby sterilising liquid and give them a soak in it made up in the bath. That brings net curtains white again which you can't boil. Drain them in the bath by pulling the plug and wring out what you can and then give them a hot wash.

Afternoon all,

Katie is here ,we have just made plain buns and chocolate buns ,12 of each ,we need to decorate the tops when they cool.

Vera I was quite puzzled where I had said about Lacey she's seven :-D she did have her dolls for Christmas, perhaps you were thinking it was Chelsea she is the eldest one and way past dolls :-D

Better go we are going to make some thing with Loom Bands now ,then later we are taking her to Weatherspoons for her tea .

I was in a rush this morning so I think I have missed commenting on a few posts.

Vera I am pleased that your day went well yesterday and that your back seems to be easing. don't overdo it now.

Mel, it is very windy here today and it is a very cold wind as well. OH has decided against going out in the garden so it must be cold as it takes a lot to put him off. It has stayed dry though so we didn't get wet doing the shopping. It was very busy and there were a lot of children in being half term, but no real problems, most of the children were older and not toddlers running round. Considering it is Friday we got round and out quite quickly.

Mandy, who will eat all those buns? Lol, I am sure Katy enjoyed making them. I have lost touch now, please tell me again how old Katy is. Enjoy Wetherspoons! Somewhere else we avoid at half term.

I wish we were where our daughter and son in law are, they are in the sunshine in Lanzarote.

Gill, You said that when your OH is working it is not going to be a lot of fun cooking for one. I used to quite enjoy when my OH was away working as I could get myself things that he didn't like. e.g. He is not fond of cooked cheese so I could make myself cauliflower cheese. But you must eat even if it is just you so make several small cottage pies and freeze them (batch cook them). Or id you like spag bol make several containers of Bolognese sauce, again batch cooking, and freeze it then all you have to cook is rice or pasta. This will also do for times your OH wants a meal when you have already eaten. Jacket potatoes with beans or egg or both plus cheese grated over is nourishing. even egg and beans on toast or tomatoes and egg on toast. The trick is to plan ahead and make sure you have ingredients in your store cupboard. If you like tinned tuna you can have that on jacket potato as well. I would make a list before shopping so that I remembered the ingredients. It will soon seem perfectly normal to be organising meals for one instead of two/three.

Afternoon All
I am back in the land of the living (just)
Had my CT scan at 6pm last night.Thankfully it didn’t take too long.
I have never seen the hospital so quiet! And parking was a doddle.
Today Fitz popped in and he has just left.I feel quiet tired now so will not stop.
Just wanted to say I am ok.
Will be back tomorrow.