General Chat

ooh it has come over dark now and we seem to have lost the lovely sunshine we had earlier. OH was watching rugby but he seems to have his pinny on now and is hoovering downstairs. He has also done the small bit of ironing that was waiting.
I have started again and managed a chain and a second row of crochet. Slow job though and not sure why I am bothering except I don't like to be beaten.
OH was coughing just now. I told him if he was in a 'danger' area they would have taken him in for testing. However, he always has a bit of a cough.

When I have those 80 litre bags to move I walk them so I don't have to lift them. We have two sack barrows and if I can find one I use that.

Cleared out a lot of cardboard boxes this afternoon and burnt them over where I have a little bonfire before the wind comes up.

Good luck with the crochet this afternoon AnnG.

4 more texture photos on blog.

Sorry I haven't been on much lately, I'm feeling very down and quite tearful at the moment. OH has been trying to get a job as neither of us have any income now, luckily we have savings which will tied us over until he can find work.

Michelle works part time a few days a week and her boyfriend is looking for work after being made redundant from his last job ages ago. I'm concerned about Sandra being left on her own if he finds work to and may have a word with Social services is that end up being the case.

I was hoping Sandra would of rang me today but she didn't and because of the lack of contact between Michelle and us we haven't spoken for over a year I didn't know what to do about ringing her. Sandra didn't have a phone when she left here but mum told me Michelle is going to buy her one, so I'm hoping Sandra will ring me soon.

I can't seem to stop crying and right now it feels like she's died. I know that sounds silly but that's how it feels at the moment. My mum was as shocked as us I rang her when the policeman took Sandra to the police car for a chat and when Sandra had gone mum burst into tears so I ended up comforting her. Sandra rang us the other day but OH was so angry with them both he wouldn't talk to Sandra, of course this upset her, but I assured her he'd come around and not to take it to heart. I said it might be better for her to stay with Michelle but she burst into tears before I had a chance to finish the sentence. I did manage to finish what I was going to say which was because she'd have a better social life, but if she didn't want to stay she could come back home. Unfortunately she's now got it stuck in her head I don't want her back. It's so heartbreaking. I just want to give her a hug and let her know everything is going to be alright but I can't.

We're not sure when we'll see Sandra again that is down to Michelle and her boyfriend Michael. I'm sure if Sandra decides to stay they'll have a lot to sort out, so I doubt it'll be soon. I did speak with Michelle and she'd like to take me out for a meal on Mother's Day, so that's something, but as she was talking I got the impression she would still have Sandra with her then, so I doubt Sandra will be coming back to live with us again, even if she said she wanted to. All I can do is sit and wait and hope we can see Sandra again at some point.

I don't think the police new Sandra was special needs as when I mentioned it he asked all sorts of questions and then mis understood me and told mum that she had mild learning difficulties. I'm very confused at the moment as no one has been in touch with us not even Social Services, so it looks like it's just Michelle taking Sandra with the police's help. Gawd knows what Michelle said to the police for them to think they needed to be here, it's quite obvious now that Michelle just wanted Sandra with her but went about it in a very cruel way.

I'm so sorry I haven't read your post I just can't concentrate at the moment so I hope everyone is okay. I skimmed through the bits you ask me questions on so hope I've answered them all and I'm so sorry for being so down. Hopefully things will be better soon. I know for a social life it's best for Sandra but I miss her dearly and just want to give her a hug. We always hugged each other every day and I really miss that. It's so quiet here now. :-( :-( :-( :-(

Oh dear Gill, you poor thing! Feeling you have lost someone you love will feel like a bereavement and cause a lot of grief, so you are not being silly at all. You must feel so confused with this happening so quickly and cruelly. Don't lose heart though as I'd be surprised if Sandra settles with her sister for long. I still can't believe the Police did it on Michelle's sayso without SS being there and them talking to Sandra as well. It seems your mum was none the wiser about it happening too so maybe she will be speaking to Michelle herself. Try not to worry about Sandra getting upset. It must be upsetting but It may make her want to come home sooner and be back to normal again. A few more days may change the whole situation so hang on in there and look after yourselves.

The beading ladies are having the same trouble with tension AnnG. Practise seems the way forward! I like your bark and Lichen pictures on the blog.

Mel, OH misses his bonfires! lol. The wind has been increasing here the last couple of hours. The old Pine tree on the front is swaying about. I hope it doesn't get really bad as it is very tall now.

The winds very high here too ann. It has been steadily coming up all evening and oh says its going to get worse.

So mum did'nt know this was going on with Sandra then Gill? You must feel aw2ful but I think you should get intouch with SS and tell them what happened and instill in them that Sandra is special needs and dos'nt understand what has happened really. Did you get the policeman number? as you could get intouch with the police and tell them what has happened and that Sandra needs special care all day. Tell them she dos'nt understand the situation and thinks its just a holiday.

I am so cross about all of this.

Good morning blowing a hooley out there now and raining. Hope son will be ok driving. He has certainly not picked the right weekend to get away which is a great shame as he works so hard and doesn't have much time to get away with daughter in law.

Gill, I know it is hard and as Annx says you are grieving, but if you possibly can, try and compose yourself and tomorrow contact the social services. I assume as Sandra is Special Needs she will have a dedicated Social worker or team. Ask them to come and explain why the police came and moved Sandra to Michelle's and ask if they were informed. Explain that the police interviewed Sandra without either of you present and that they didn't seem to realise that she needed 24/7 care. And explain that you are concerned that, if Michelle and her partner both get jobs there will be no provision for Sandra and she will be left on her own. Try and remain calm while explaining all this though, I know it is hard but try not to get upset. And try to encourage your OH not to show his anger as that will not help the situation and may make it worse.

I have been thinking about you a lot and of Sandra as the whole situation is very strange. Normally the police are too over stretched to attend domestic situations so I would be interested to know exactly what Michelle told them to make them act.

Hopefully Sandra will have the use of a phone soon and you can put her mind at rest and explain that of course you still want her and that you miss her, But try not to blame Michelle to Sandra as that will confuse her.

I hope the situation will soon be solved without too much animosity in the family. <3 <3

Morning AnnG, morning all,

Really blowy here I woke about half past twelve last night and I could here it ,then about half five this morning it sounded much stronger ,the trees are really going for it and I can see some ones wheelie bin out on the road.

Son rang to say they are not turning out this morning and I don't blame them no point coming out in this weather.

Gill I hope your feeling a little calmer today <3 lots of good advice from everyone ,I too think it would be best to talk to SS tomorrow you need to put them in the picture of what's going on .
I hope OH can find a job that would be one less worry for you ,stay strong and look after yourself we're all here to chat to any time <3

Morning all,

The wind here is 61 miles an hour so oh tells me. It is going up to 76 MAH later. He said thats the highest he has seen it. It is also very grey and raining.

I don't blame your son not coming out today best to stay indoors where its safe. I think everyone who can should stay in when its like this. I hope we don't hear of anyone going down to watch the sea on a day like this its just madness. I suppose there will be some stupid person who does it though and ends up in danger or worse.

I hav'nt ventured out to the chickens yet and its going to be blowing straight in their house. The roof keeps creeking and oh has just reminded me he has a doctors appointment in the morning at 9.50am. If the rivers out we won't be ablle to get there.

Morning All
It is a rough one here but not as bad as many other parts of the country . Thomas must be hunkered down somewhere.He has been out since 2am !.
James and Gareth are up at the Golf Range(mad or what) .
Early lunch today for us as Chris and James are going to the Derngate tonight to the Philharmonic Orchestra. I should be going really instead of James (its not his cup of tea) but I get tired by early evening and also it is a very early start in the morning as I have my appointment with the Consultant .So I am going to enjoy a few hours on my own later.I shall have a nice relaxing bath and then watch Dancing on Ice :-D

Gill, I do think you need some explanations as to why the Poice were involved and why they thought it best Sandra went to live with Michelle and her Boyfriend. It really doesn't sound as though it is going to be in her best interest especially if she is going ot be left on her own when they are working. Does Sandra even know the boyfriend??
It was bad of Michelle to tell Sandra that if she was to come home you would stop her seeing her.I might be wrong but you don't think that they are just thinking how much better off they would be if they could claim Carers Allowance? When you do speak to someone it might be best to have everything written down that you want to ask or say so that you dont forget anything.
Sending you lots of love and (HUGS) <3

Hope the Chickens are OK Mel.They wont be venturing out today.I see there are no Horses out in the field opposite us.They will be kept in their stables I expect.
Chris says he has heard on the local news of many trees down and blocking some roads.I think the best place ofr anyone today is just to stay home and be safe.
Yes Mel I do hope noone is daft enough to be down on the sea fronts(especially with children). But there is always a few people who seem to have no brains.

I do remember many years ago down at Westward Ho! by the seawall and dodging the waves coming over.

Time to check the meat now.Roast Turkey again today. It is so tender and can eat it easily :-D

AnnG I like the tree one on the blog and the moss.

Jane i would think it would be better if Chris and James did'nt go out tonight with the wind like this.

I have let the chickens out but they are not impressed at all. We have also had that cream labrador in the garden this morning. I wish I knew whose it was. It has no collar on. Its been and sniffed around the bantams and the big girls this morning then I saw it go pat the big arch towards the front and top of the garden.

Fed the wild birds and there was a great rush for the food it was like Paddington Station on the feeder even in this gale. I did take a couple of pics through the window but they are all blurred with the rain on the window and outside.

Good afternoon

Your son has got more sense than my OH Mandy. He has gone out to meet his friend. He’s walking rather than driving but he’ll be struggling to stay upright. It may not be accurate but according to my weather app we’re currently getting gusts of about 64 mph and this should go up to 70 mph about the time he is coming home. I’ve made my feelings on the subject of him going out very clear!!

Mel, I forgot to mention your snowdrops the other day. They are lovely and you have so many. They must look an absolute picture when they are all in bloom.

I love your moon pictures as well Jane. You could almost enter them for Ann’s “textures” competition. I’ll be thinking of you on Tuesday and hope the after effects of the chemo aren’t too bad this time.

Ann, I hope your OH’s cough is improving day by day and that he doesn’t pass it on to you. These coughs can sometimes hang around for weeks before they clear up.

Gill, I have received a birthday card which I haven’t opened but I am pretty sure it’s from you. I am very touched that you took the time to post it when you have more than enough things to think about at the moment. Thank you. I’ll also echo the advice given to you already - let your own social services know what’s been going on. They will presumably have a record of Sandra’s needs and can perhaps liaise with the social services in Leeds and, if necessary, with the police. Make it clear that your only concern is that Sandra is happy where she is and that her needs are being met. If you are not sure who to speak to Citizens’ Advice may be able to help you. I know it will be very difficult but try and stay calm and come on here whenever you need to let off steam. Sending you a (((hug))) <3

I’ve had a very painful back for a couple of days. I am sure it’s just muscular strain and will get better in a few days but it’s difficult to get comfortable and it’s keeping me awake. I don’t like this getting older lark but, as a friend said the other day, it’s better than the alternative ;-). I hope everyone else is OK - where’s Frank?

The heavens have just opened so as well as getting blown over OH will get soaked. Serves him right for being stupid and going out.

Better go and prepare the veg for dinner; roast loin of pork today.

I think they will be ok Mel. James will drive and work out a good route first. The wind may have died down a bit by the time they go. James paid a lot of money for the tickets(it was Chris's Xmas present) so they reallt dont want to waste them. Obviously if the weather is so bad then they may change their mind.

This roast is smelling so good right now :-D.The Turkey is a roulade so has nice stuffing in the middle. Lemon and Herb Potatoes ,Carrots, Parsnips ,Green Beans and Yorkshires.Mmmmmm! :-D

You crept in there Jane without me noticing :-)

I had also wondered about the money angle once I realised Michelle and boyfriend weren’t working full time but I hope that’s not the case and that Michelle has done this out of concern for her sister, however misguided she is.

My Father worked out doors in all weathers for Wimpey. Half the year he'd be
wearing a donkey jacket and rubber boots. Many younger men wouldn't do it.

" OH WHAT A NIGHT IT WAS."Good afternoon to you all,

Gill I won't linger on your troubles. The advise you have been given by the girls, is far better than anything I could say/Add. Thinking of you, ad trust things get sorted tomorrow. xxxx

Jane I am sure the "BOYS" will be fine, providing there are no trees down on the A 43. We have got the rain also, and the WIND is something I have't experienced since being lost at sea in a gale force 10. I would hope the people who live close to the coast, stay well back from the sea front. I.m sure the sight will be something to remember.

Good old Ros, has done all the veg for dinner tonight. I got a nice piece of Lamb out of the freezer yesterday, so not a lot for me to do.

We had a call from Jonathan this morning asking if we needed any shopping, and to see if we were safe. What a thoughtful lad he is. Bless him.

Our favourite Chines Takeaway was closed last night. I tried at leat 15 times to telephone them with our order, but no reply. We decided to drive down to see if they were open and it might have been trouble with their phone. It was all shut up. We called at another takeaway to get a meal, I asked if they knew why they were closed, and it appears they went to China for their NEW YEARS Celebrations and are STUCK THERE under Quarantine . So their business won't be opened for at leat two weeks.

I do hope you are safe and sound, tucked up in a nice warm home. I know we are, and won't be attempting to go anywhere today.

Love to you all, see you later. xxxx

Well son got here this morning and apparently had no trouble on the roads as it was very quiet, so everyone being sensible. We had a nice lunch together (his treat as usual) and they dropped us off and went straight on at about ten past two. It is only just over an hour to Haye on Wye, depending if the roads are clear. Hopefully he will let us know when they get there. They are staying in a luxury 'Pod' which is one of four in a field. It looks very nice, quite big with a hot tub (outside). Should be fun. They don't seem bothered by the weather.

Grandson is not now going to China, he emailed us last night. He is hoping to find a job in Milton Keynes to get some money so that he can return to Guatemala for a few months. Until he goes with his family in August to Florida for 3 weeks (Dad paying of course). He will then look for another job abroad somewhere and is apparently speaking about Japan.

Vera, I do hope your OH is safely home soon, silly man, he should realise that you are cross because he has worried you. Sorry you have a bad back, hope that clears up soon.

Jane, shame you can't go with Chris, although maybe you are a teeny weeny bit relieved if it is him not you who enjoys that music? Enjoy your 'me' time after your yummy sounding lunch and have a good rest, busy week this week.

Frank, nice to have lovely roast lamb to look forward to. I considered having the roast lamb at the beefeater but fancied the fish and chips and it was really lovely and too much for me, sticky toffee pudding between us was nice afterwards as well.

Mandy, shame you won't see your son but safer for them not to venture out unnecessarily.

Mel I wonder who the dog belongs to? Poor thing out in that weather and without a collar. Hope the chooks are OK.

Annx Yes I like the Lichen photo, fascinating to see all the different little plants in it. I also like the bark.
Not sure I will tackle the crochet again today, may leave it until tomorrow. I really tried to loosen the tension and the second lot was better so I hope it will be onwards and upwards next time.

Gill <3 <3 <3 <3

I've had a horrible day so far, been on the phone to Michelle and mum. I spoke with Sandra who complained at a few things about Michelle and Michael, saying that they took her to a Tropical place with butterflies which she enjoyed until she started feeling sick and hot, she asked Michelle if she could leave the place but Michelle said we've only got to go to there, Sandra asked again and it was only on the second time of asking that Michelle took her outside where it was cooler. Apparently according to Sandra she hadn't had anything to eat all day apart from a chocolate bar.

I'm not very happy with the way they're not feeding her properly as when I rang them today at around a quarter to one she still hadn't had anything to eat and had had a hot bath, luckily this time she didn't feel ill, but I wish they would sort out proper meals for her. They also haven't bought her a phone yet, so when I mentioned it they said they would buy her one tomorrow, this I'm looking forward to as I may be able to speak with Sandra on our own without Michelle and Michael listening in.

Sandra also complained about her bedroom as it was a junk room for Michelle stuff, she said that they said they would empty the room of all Michelle things but had kept letting her down day after day, she said her bed was in the middle of the room with all Michelle's stuff around it. I've now found out Michelle is making a start on clearing the room.

Another thing Michelle mentioned was that her and Michael are saving to buy a house, so now I'm wondering if that's why they want Sandra there to maybe take her money to pay towards the new property, I could be wrong though, but it does look that way.

I did mention because Sandra is part owner of this place that Sandra, by law, still has to pay a few bills, for example her share of the council tax and insurance's, I think, but will have to look into this, she may not have to pay anything towards the contents insurance once everything that belongs to her has been taken out, but I think she's still be responsible for her share of the buildings insurance and any maintenance that needs doing on the building, so all in all she'll need to pay for her share of the council tax, the buildings insurance and the maintenance, I could be wrong so will have to check it out.

I spent about an hour and a half trying to help Michelle with all Sandra's needs and explaining how she can get overly excited or angry and can lash out with anger and how to calm her down if she ends up that way. I forgot to tell her that she might run away if she gets to upset. I did mention that Sandra after an episode of anger doesn't remember anything about it and that she can kick out, she's done this to me in the past, but she doesn't realise she's doing it so it could be a shock to Michelle if it happens to her. The best way to sort that situation out is to try and talk her down calmly. There are so many things I couldn't remember them all so I just told Michelle to ring me if she needs some advice or help as that's all I can do from so far away.

After all I've had almost 35 years experience whereas she's just starting to have the responsibility of an adult with special needs. It's not easy and she will need help, so I'm going to voice my concerns to social Services tomorrow as I'd like them to keep an eye on Michelle and Michael and of course Sandra to make sure Sandra's basic needs are met as she needs to eat regularly and have her own proper personal space like a bedroom.

Hopefully Michelle and Michael will cope okay but they're going to have to hit the ground running so to speak as they don't really have time to adjust with Sandra being an adult and quite strong, she will lash out and shout, which can be quite frightening even to me when I'm used to it, so will be worse for them. I just hope they don't shout back at her or smack her.

Like I've said I've told Michelle to calmly talk her down as that should work, but sometimes it doesn't and you just have to wait for her to calm herself down. It's going to be very hard for them so I hope they're all going to be okay.

The main problem at the moment is we can't find her birth certificate and they can't get another one because she was adopted which we can't remember the exact date she was adopted on or where, we think it was around 1991 to 1993 in Chester so I've told Michelle this.

Without a birth certificate they can't organise her money as they need proof of identity so Sandra can gain access to her bank account. Her money was transferred to our account so the bills could be paid and the rest we draw out for her so she could buy what ever she wanted. She couldn't remember a pin number so didn't have a bank card, so doing things the way we did them suited her.

I'm pretty sure I can't transfer her money onto our account and pass it onto her now without her permission and a legal document to show I'm allowed. I've mentioned this to Michelle as I said I could then transfer it to Michelle's account for any expenses they need to cover for Sandra now, but she wasn't keen on that. So at the moment Sandra can't access her money and neither can I.

I've sugested that Michelle goes to the one stop shop for advice on Sandra's money in the morning and the citizens advice about how to obtain a copy of her adoption so they can obtain a new birth certificate for her.

In the meantime I'm going to ring the carers allowance and sort my side of things out, then contact Social Services to see if they can do anything about the concerns I have about Sandra's basic needs and also about access for her to see us as Michelle said she'd only bring her here 3 times a year as petrol is so expensive.

I've got anxiety and have problems going out, I'm on meds for depression and I need to make a call tomorrow for help with going out. The doctor told me to do small outings at first then build up to longer ones, so at the moment travelling to Leeds from here is just to much for me, which makes going to visit Sandra out of the question for the time being. I'm hoping Social Services will be able to arrange someone to bring her to us for a visit and maybe Sandra can stay over night and go back the following day so we can see her for a decent length of time, but I will have to see if that's possible.

Hopefully in time everything will be sorted and everyone will be settled into a new routine. So long as Sandra is being fed and looked after properly that's all I care about, I just want Sandra to be happy, but I am concerned that Michelle and Michael don't realise what a responsibility they've taken on yet. They've got a long road ahead of them and lots to learn.

Go on AnnG you know you want to carry on with your crochet now you have managed a bit looser. I did a lot of crochet when I was younger. Blanket for my son in lovely blue and white for his carry cot and blankets for the dogs, holly leaves and even did some macrame'. In fact I have had a go at most crafts in my life.

Vera the card may be from me as I posted it with Mandy's by mistake!! I was going to wait a bit to send yours. There again I see there is another card on my pile and it has a lot of diamonds on it so I can guess who thats from. xxx

I meant to say yesterday while putting some things away IFOUND THE OTHER TWO PRESENTS!!!!!!!!!!! plus two more! so oh had Christmas all over again. I had put them in the bag for the charity shop so as I was putting something else in there for them I opened the black sack and there they were on the top of the things already in there. The one I really wanted him to have was a magnetic tray that you put nuts and bolts in when taking things apart. He is always dropping bits and pieces and can't bend to pick them up. When he saw it he said he had never had one of those before so I am so pleased I found it at last. See Ann there's still hope for your pc stick. :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

I am just about to venture out to the chickens again to give them some corn. If I don't get back on here you'll know I have been blown away.