General Chat

No one escapes depression. A great many people get depressed, however briefly, at some time in their lives. You may never get depressed, but some of the people close to you will. One person in five will suffer clinical depression requiring medical or other intervention. The experience of depression can be the very worst experience you have ever had. It can also be the source of acquiring wisdom. Nowadays people often talk about “getting depressed” when what they are talking about is not depression but unhappiness or disappointment or anger or guilt. Anyone who has been depressed will know that it is totally different from unhappiness. When you’re unhappy, people around you can comfort, sustain and warm you with their love and sympathy. When you are depressed, you can observe the people around you being sympathetic and supportive but somehow their sympathy and love never gets through the barrier that surrounds you, and you are powerless to fix it. Those who say “pull yourself together” are as thick as a rhino and just as damaging. When you’re unhappy, even if no one else will comfort you can comfort yourself, give yourself little treats and cheer yourself up but when you’re depressed, not only will you not be able to comfort yourself but you will even make things worse. You become your own worst enemy and feel the world is against you. The colour has drained out of life and an invisible, impenetrable barrier isolates you from the rest of the word. The experience of being depressed is being utterly alone. I have been there. Quite often depression passes after about six months but may require medical intervention in the way of anti-depressants. Statistics show that patients treated with anti-depressants may relapse after a time and need further treatment but those who receive psychiatric care or counseling (or both) rarely succumb again. The old adage “strongest in the broken places” holds good. Those who can make use of even the most unpleasant experiences and use them to their advantage are the most likely to lead a full and happy life. You can discover that your life story and the world as you see it are not fixed in stone but something you have constructed and, since you constructed them, you can change them – with a bit of help from someone who understands. .

wonderful thread len....thank you. bryan.

A safe environment is what is needed to enable the development of an emotionally well balanced human being. This is both necessary and sufficient in all and therapeutic relationships! The core conditions: As facilitated by Carl R Rogers. 1 Empathy 2 Congruence 3 Unconditional Positive Regard Lib

You know, im not unhappy, many who have met me will say that.......but, im not myself right now. Yes im on tablets.....are they working? Not so far. Where do i go or what do i do next???? I dont know really. I do know, im getting on my own nerves. Donna x

Lady Liberty I, too, have Carl Rogers on my bookshelves. A bit old-hat now, he's been there at least 15 years. Used to be obligatory reading. Is it still? I doubt if many will understand the jargon- except a counsellor or someone in the business. len

len,when i was studying medicine,i read a few books by dr claire week's,as i found her writing relaxing...but she really knew about mental health issues. bryan.

Does this help depressed people though?? Just a thought....it all sounds so big and very 'bookish', right now i couldnt face a book. x

Len The latter end of your post suggested you did! As you so eliquently put it, yes we certainly are the directors of our own movie. I also believe we are our own worst enemies, the sooner people can develope the awareness that life is not a fixed state, but rather a on-going fluid process, the more they can live a full contented life, or in Rogers words, 'live the good life'! Lib ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Yes Len im in the buisness! Im an accredited Counsellor BACP! And you??

Lady Liberty...you make it sound so easy.....is it??????

no donna,its not easy ,its all about taking 'little steps' its a fact,that medication,combined with cognitive behavioural therapy,over a period of time,will work. having said that,its up to the individual,to change their thought processes,from negative,to positive. what if?....i can,and i will! bryan.

You know Bryan I had and have a very posative outlook, im alive, im here, i almost wasnt.....im grateful, there for the grace of god eh. But......i understand that feeling of hoplessness, that feeling of pure isolation......its so very hard and yes i get it still. Donna x

strump I have messaged you!

Thanks Liberty. Bryan.....having been through what ive been through, im still positive, i also try to be for others.......depression isnt easy and we all deal with it in different ways. Mine is reactive.....others arent and is harder. xx

Some people associate depression primarily with psychological symptoms such as low mood and lack of pleasure whereas, in reality, it can also cause a variety of physical symptoms such as poor sleep quality, general aches and pains, sexual dysfunction and appetite or weight change. Aches and pains are commonplace. A recent survey showed that physical symptoms were considered to be a key factor in in opinion of 99% of the participants in the survey (Depression Alliance 2005b). These included fatigue (85%), insomnia/hypersomnia (78%), general aches and pains (49%) and sexual dysfunction (48%). Despite this, many people with physical symptons fail to discuss them with their doctor, partly due to the fact that patients do not associate depression with physical malaises. Having said that, a high proportion of doctors apparently do not tell their patients of the connection. len

Len Thank you for posting that - I've copied it into Word so that I can read it on the bad days. Mandy :)

Len, What you've written sums up my own experience of many years of depression. Unfortunately, the GPs I saw at the time merely treated the physical symptoms (unsuccessfully, of course) with a variety of prescription drugs, and I'm still living with the results of side-effects. I was suffering from horrendous neighbour problems (mainly noise), overwork, menopause and trying to cope with my Mother's Alzheimer's disease. There seemed to be no end in sight, but then my Mother died, and gradually, after a house move and drastic change of lifestyle, my depression lifted, but it did take a couple of years before I could say it had finally gone. Occasionally, I still get the negative feelings you've described above but, as you say, they're nowhere near as bad as true depression. Sadly, my experience of the medical profession has left me deeply mistrustful of them, and I'm happy to say that I've found alternative (herbal) remedies and various vitamin and mineral supplements (professionally prescribed) which have helped me a great deal. If I stop taking them for any reason, I soon notice a downturn in how I feel. Because of my own experience, I often wonder if 'clinical depression' is always a mind-based condition, or whether it could be induced by some sort of vitamin or mineral deficiency, or malabsorption. Good thread - thank you. CB >|<

I know something about depression from the sharp end. Many years ago now I was fearful of redundancy, and the effects it would have on my young family, and at an age when I was virtually unemployable if I lost my reasonably well- paid job. So to make myself indispensable (no one is indispensable) I gradually increased my load working 12 hours a day, 6 or 7 days a week. The first sign was when I found my memory was going and I had to write down all that was said before I forgot it. Then other incidents: I could not remember the way back to the office after going for a short walk at lunch-time, something I had been doing for years. Numerous other things happened such as getting up from my desk, saying goodnight and finding out there were no trains home as it was only 3 pm. I felt quite sure in my own mind that I was OK but the rest of the world was being bloody minded. My caring family had a hell of a time. This was, of course, a mental breakdown following a long period of untreated depression, Finally, I decided to go to the top of our office building and jump off as I could see no point whatsoever in continuing. Fortunately a senior colleague was watching , aware I was cracking up and escorted me home and to my GP. I only conceded to him as he out-ranked me. I burst into tears in front of the GP and the silly man said 'I expect you will feel better now' which unleashed a torrent of abuse for the humiliation I felt - which he took very well. The rest is history and the past is a place I do not care to visit too often. Len

Hi Len, your thread makes very good reading, and rings very true. I have been on medication now for over a year for my depression, i thing i was suffering long before that but wouldnt admit to myself i was suffering and it was just the circumstances i was going through. In Aug 1999 myself and my husband seperated and through Threats he forced me to had him my 3 children, this destroyed me, over a period of 3yrs i fought through court to get custody of my children 2 no avale as alot of lies were said by my ex about me, all of this tore me apart, being away from my children was destrying me and i can now say i did have a nerves breakdown, my family helped me tremondously but i was still suffering cos i didnt have my children. In December 2002 my ex just decided to hand me my children and told the courts so, this was wonderful for me. Even though i now have my children with me i still hold alot of guilt for not having or been able to be there for my children 24/7 after the seperation. My children are happy now they are with mum and see their every other weekend. After going through all that i then developed back problems and due to this i am now unable to work, also at the same time my new partner and i wasnt and still arent seeing eye to eye about how my children are brought (as you may have seen by my threads) i ended up totally losing it and ended up breaking down and had to go to the doctor and was told it was depression i was suffering from. It is not a nice way to feel and sometimes i feel ashamed about it (i know i shouldnt) but i now have medication to try and help me. I was first on Flouxitine but now i am on sertraline, even though i am on medication sometimes if something dramtic happens i feel my medication does not help. I hope in the future i can be cured from it. I sympathise with all out there who are sufferers, you are not alone. Hugs to all Kaz xx

Len, your message is great. Later on when you said about forgetting things I felt so relieved beacause i keep forgetting things, because my mother has alzheimers i keep thinking I am in the early stages of it. I know my mother knew something was wrong with her beacause one of her friends said that she had been 'afriaid of losing her marbles' for some time. Sometimes when I see how bad my mother is both physically and mentally I can hardly cope. I know I am depressed although some days I think I am getting better, I am hoping now that the dodgy memory is down to this depression rather than developing alzheimers. People with depression are not able to help themselves, sometimes I find I can't even face phoning a friend let alone doing anything more positive. lots of people on GR seem to have had or have depression. It is not really something that is easy to 'confess' to, there is still a lot of 'pull yourself together' attitude about. I find that the boards on GR are a great help, both to chat to people and to carry out research. There seems to be a lot of caring people out there. Thank you Chris

Hi meercat, you are doing right by being there for your friend, if she wants to talk she will and by the sounds of it she knows that. Wish i had a friend like that. your a good friend to stand by her. Kaz xx I have lots of good friends on here who help me!!!! ur all gr8!! Kaz xx