General Chat

Has anybody here got a diabetic significant other? Or someone with another chronic condition that means they must stick to a strict health regimen ... ?


Not looking for advice. Got some advice to offer.

Have you got one of them who is *not* sticking to that regimen religiously and whole-heartedly?

Take a moment now and find yourself a nice piece of 2x4 and go where your person is, and whack him/her upside the head with it.

Then tell him/her: this is a mere taste of what is going to happen to you if you don't do what you're supposed to, and the worst happens as a result, or even close to the worst.

Because believe me: you do not want to be where I just was, all day and half the night.

I was in the emergency room of my local hospital, about two hours after calling a cab for the trip to the ER, looking at No.1 lying in a bed with tubes and wires attached to numerous bits of his body, listening to the doctor who was gazing solemnly at me as he told me:
"Your No.1 is seriously ill".

You've seen Casualty. You know what it means when the ER doc gazes solemnly at you and says, "Ma'am, your husband/daughter/whatever is seriously ill". It means you're waiting for the next scene, where s/he comes into the room peeling off a surgical gown and says:
"In spite of all our best efforts ...".

Diabetic ketoacidosis.

Who knew that puking and pooping for two days, and having trouble breathing and having neck and back pain, meant that you were in the middle of a full-blown life-threatening diabetic crisis?

Not me. I thought it might mean somebody had swine flu and we were going to be famous.

I didn't think that a couple of hours later I'd be sitting beside a bed, listening to the rapid shallow breathing, watching as monitors flashed things like "tachy at 142" (I've heard that on ER, too), and hearing a doctor say:
"I have seen people whose condition was this bad who lived".

What do you say to the one who might not live then?

Hey there, I know you're having a hard time understanding me and you probably can't put two words together in your head and make them come out your mouth, because you're so confused and in so much pain. But it seems you may only have a couple of hours to live. Anything you'd like to say before you go?

For those who know this stuff: blood sugar reading over 40 ("normal" is 3 to 7), blood Ph about equivalent to sulphuric acid. Heart racing. On intravenous fluid and electrolytes, insulin, and calcium to neutralize the acid, and some drug or other to protect the heart. Still vomiting (not having eaten for 36 hours) ... talk of a breathing tube ... unsuccessful attempts to catheterize for urine ...

So you hold the hand and stroke the hair, and think WTF??

Not too long after that crucial hour ended, he sat up and spoke a sentence, and peed in a bottle (if you've ever peed after having a catheter - I have - let alone two lengthy attempts to insert one, you know how that felt). And the half-hourly blood and Ph readings started coming down. By the time he got to the intensive care unit around 7pm, his Ph was approaching normal and his sugar was below 30. And they continued to improve up to when I came home around 10pm.

It's about 1:30am here now, and I'm going to give the ICU nurse a call before turning in. She has only him to watch over, and she said to call any time. Then I'll check in the morning, and go in for rounds which will be sometime between 9 and 11.

He'll be in ICU for another day or two, mainly because of the constant bloodletting and monitoring he needs, which the wards don't have the staff for. Assuming his condition continues to improve. Then on the ward for another couple of days as they wean him from intravenous insulin back to subcutaneous shots.

Then it's home for a whack upside the head. Yeah, this should be his wake-up call, so you might think he doesn't need the whack. I'm just going to call it payback. And do this to me again, and it won't be so gentle.

And then it's back to the endocrinology dept at the other hospital where he hasn't been in two years, to get the insulin ratio worked out, and get back on track.

You don't want to be where I was. And you're not responsible for your significant other's management of his/her condition -- but you want to let them know they're responsible for it, not just to themselves, but to you. And if they don't live up to it, there will be consequences. Unpleasant ones, and not just from the disease.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diabetic_ketoacidosis#Symptoms_and_Signs

He had all the "symptoms and signs" (except for a couple of the optional ones like oral thrush; muscle wasting, hard to tell since he's congenitally extremely thin and unmuscled) and "late signs" ("At this point, DKA is life-threatening and medical attention should be sought immediately") except for actual unconsciousness.

And I feel incredibly stupid and guilty for not realizing what was happening, but I'm still going to get out the 2x4.

Ta Carol - I'm going to sleep with it under my pillow I think, lest I lose my resolve. ;)

Jayney,

I am so sorry to hear of your terrible experience, it must of been a horrible shock.

Sending positive healing thoughts to both of you. If you don't mind I will copy and paste your post and send it in an email to my OH, who has diabetes 2 and maybe this will be his wakeup call.

Take care,

Lindy xx

Oh Dear Janey :-(

Not a good year for you so far. Good luck with the 2x4 doesn't always work but I am sure you will make it.

Grandson is diabetic and been in the emergency many times with him.My most frightening time when he was in my care and went into a coma.He was only 6 at the time and he had a ear infection that had caused his blood sugar to go haywire.They could not find any veins and wrapped him up in tin foil.Very frightening.He is 17 now so did survive. Annie

Very frightening for you Janey and don't blame yourself, he is lucky to have you.

Positive thoughts for you.

Rosalind

Lindy -- print it off, wrap it around a brick, and throw it through the window at him!


Annie -- it must be horribly frightening with children. No.1 was diagnosed (wrongly, as it turned out) with Type II when he was in his late 40s, never having had a single indication before a sudden two-week sickening. Two years of deterioration later, they decided he was Type I and he went on insulin.

So you know the dangers an ordinary infection present for diabetics -- and so do I, *now*! But with a grown-up, it's his danged job to know it. Your grandson likely knows what's good for him now, but feel free to give him a gentle whack just as a reminder. ;)

Susan### -- this year isn't as bad as last, so far ... But hey, it's working on it!

And thanks Rosalind, and you bet he is. Bestest carb-counting-est cook on the continent, me! Fat lot of good it does if he doesn't get the insulin right though.

You sure don't need this and I hope it has the necessary effect on him to wake up to himself and do what he is told to do from now on.

Hi Janey

I don't have a significant other with it - but I did have a significant mother with it.

She wouldn't behave herself either and look where it got her.

Note I said DID have, not DO have. Unfortunately my mother is no longer with us.

Show this to your OH. Maybe he will take notice then.

Take care Janey

Dianne xx

God, Janey, how awful.

It must have been a very long night for you. I hope you get some sleep.

The 2X4 idea is a good one.

Gwynne

DET - thanks, info is always welcome. We did look into them -- not covered by Canadian health plan and me being self-employed we don't have supplemental, but it could be got just for cash. (They're a few $000.) But the thing is that what they don't do is monitor blood sugar - they just administer the insulin once you've tested and set the dosage.

One that monitored blood sugar and administered the dosage would be the beam-me-up-scottie of diabetes. As it is, this means you're wearing a device with a tube in your body around, all just so you don't have to stick yourself with the needles, and No.1 didn't think that sounded too attractive.

Stem cell research and another breakthrough or two on the possible horizon are looking good, though.

-- edit -- DET - I just paid more attention and it seems your s-i-l may have something that does monitor? In that case -- I'll do some googling, and thanks!


Dianne, I'm so sorry to hear it. Funny (well, not) how with cancer, it's the tales of survival that you hear most of when it rears its head in your family -- with diabetes, yours is the second lost mother I've been told of tonight. The hospital cafeteria guy I was chatting with lost his mum at 55. No.1 is 55. He'll be hearing that too.


Berona, I shall add yours to the list of admonishments and serve them up with one of my scrumptious low-carb dinners. ;)


Guinevere, ta; you hope I get some sleep -- smack me and make me go home! Who is it whose job it is to do that when I'm seen here at silly o'clock? ;)

Janey, I do hope he continues to make progress... the 2x4 has far more effect when they are awake and fully compos mentis, I find!! You take care of yourself and get some rest...

Love

Daff xxxxx

Yes, Daff, the right moment for the 2x4 must be carefully chosen, I think.

Unfortunately, Manchester United is finished playing for the season, I believe. ;)

OMG Janey, I'm so sorry - not to mention horrified - that this happened.

You can give him a friendly "whack upside" from me and my OH too, lol.
(Sorry, I know "lol" isn't appropriate at this time, but Janey will understand).

Hope No. 1 continues to improve - and sticks to the health regime!
x

Hi Janey, mine had a sort of wake up call when his driving licence was taken away cos of poss epilepsy,last August. The 5 months of cycling to work etc helped hugely to rub it in but his illness wasn't quite so lifethreatening as your No 1's illness. My o.h's turned out to be bleeds on the brain so had to be stricter with himself over tablets for blood pressure, daily soluble aspirin and now cholesterol medication and diet - yeah ok, so why do you eat several eggs a week for your food to take to work etc and still eat the wrong things, even tho I do my best to arrange suitable meals here. He has also cut back on the secret drinking, stopped altogether most of the time in fact. If he hadn't been a bit sensible I would have resorted to the 2x4 as well, believe you me! He is actually still cycling to work most days through choice altho the weight loss isn't happening as quickly as he thought it would, a difference to begin with but nothing happening now, I can't understand why not unless he is eating even more forbidden foods at work than I know about!

I am sorry you have had this to cope with, he is acting more like a dependent than ever - not a significant other you can have an equal partnership with or even a respectful one. I do hope he finds his brain and starts using it and takes every bit of advice and instruction the doctors and anyone else gives him to make things better for you both by playing the game.

Lots of luck,hon, you don't need this!

Lizxx

There's something else he might like to consider too Janey. I don't know whether you have children or not, but because my mum dies at a relatively young age (61) I have had an awful struggle to get life insurance for myself.

My husband and I have just taken out a joint life policy, but what a performance it has been. I have had to go through stringent medicals, probing questions etc because of my mum's early death, which was entirely preventable.

My husband hasn't had to go through any of that rigmarole.

So, he might like to consider the awkward position he may be leaving his children in at sometime in the future. I bet he hasn't thought of that aspect.

Dianne xx

Hope you manage to make No,1 tow the line in future
Men !!!!!!!!!!
How typical is that
lol

Good lord Janey!

You really really didn't need that ........ and I guess a hug is still out of order isn't it? lol

I'll drop off a special West Coast 2x4 as the train goes by your part of the country if he hasn't paid attention to you by then! I bet a good hunk of West Coast cedar would do the trick!


I hope that he is doing better by now ........... and that you got some sleep.


~~~~

sylvia

Good grief woman what a trauma!

(((((((((((((small hug))))))))))))))

This is so typical of men though. Your approach of using timber therapy sounds like it may get the severity of this illness through his thick skull..I mean that in the nicest way :-))

I hope he gets his meds sorted and you can stop worrying.

Sue x

And he's home! He improved steadily overnight, he was back to much his regular self this morning, and they decided it would be less hassle to evict him than to set him up in an infectious disease room on the wards (he probably does have a virus that was the trigger). But not before a lengthy harangue from the diabetes nurse. It really is pretty annoying to keep being told to do things you know you're supposed to do. Diabetes nurses have to be a special kind of annoying people, I think, to do the job.

As for the sister-in-law whose response last night when I was trying to get her not to be calling the hospital or sending her sister who lives in town here up to visit him, and who then wondered aloud as to whether he was really in the hospital (and this wasn't just a ploy to get out of helping to move a bunch of stuff out of his mother's condo in the city where they live this weekend) ... hmm, anybody got a spare 2x4?

Gotta go home and make him cheesy eggs. His poor throat is all sore from the virus + all the panting and gasping for dry hospital air. No carbs in cheesy eggs, anyhow.

Thanks to all again for well wishes, and I'll let you know when the lump on his head goes down. ;)