General Chat

Also if the man's wife was ill for a long time or was at risk of dying from ie consumption or bronchitis, then quite often the husband would go and find a mistress to be with before his wife died. Often they did get them pregnant before their wife died, and when she did die, then the husband was free to marry his mistress, as said it was for convenience as well.

Men only really admitted paternity of a baseborn child if they actually was the dad. Admitting something like that when they were not the father was quite a risk as there was always the chance the child would find out later on, or the real dad might go looking, or the man would get a bad name if he went round telling people he fathered a base child when all the time he didnt. Most men denied paternity when they really were the father to save their own bacon.

Ben

When I first started FH I was `stuck` trying to find a marriage for my gggrandparents so decided to go `sideways` only to discover that my gggrandfather had married my gggrandmothers sister instead. As you could not marry your deceased wifes sister in those days they lived together as man and wife for over 30 years and I often wonder if the children knew.

Love and Peace
Marianne. x

Hi everyone
Just been reading through this thread

My ggrandfather on my dads side appears to have never married his 'wife'. I have been unable to find a record of a marriage and on my grandads birth cert his mum has has the same surname as his dad.
Also my dad,s mum had an illegitamate son about 8 years before my dad was born, he was bought up by my dads father and took the family name.

My family come from Sussex and Kent!!!!!

Yvonne

Well I suppose that it was better that he waited for his wife to die rather than hastening her end!

I think a lot of illegitimates were born illegitimate because the parents couldnt marry at that specific time ,ie, they couldnt afford it, or the father had to wait for his first wife to die, or one was still underage.

It happened a lot, but it is charming that the husband wanted his first wife to pop it before he could marry his lover. Charming lol.

Another thing, when my ancestor Thomas Roberts wed the mother of his illegitimate baby shortly after the birth, his eldest daughter Ann aged 13 went to live with her dads sister in Bermondsey.

She probably didnt approve of her dad's lliasion wouldt you say??

Ben

my gran was, her father wasnt named on her birthcertificate, only her mam
and she was adopted at early age and brought to newport, with name change

i do wonder if maybe her adoptive father was her father cos apparently they were very close, adn her adoptive mother left for america alone when granny was 5 year old
her birth mother was a domestic servant but not know who for, just in cardiff

My Dad! So no fathers side to look at for him. He is 79 now, still hurts him not knowing. There was once his mum told my mum his dad was an American. But no one knows who he was.

I have just traced the errant father of my two x great grandmother on this site "A2A" it came up with his name and details of the maintenance awarded, 2/6 a week in 1820 . As I had got a result I then tried another one and also got the details, warrant for an arrest and another maintenance order although this last couple did marry 2 years later.
These were both in East Sussex but it covers all areas. All I did was type in the mother's surname.Then went through several possibles, only took a couple of minutes to achieve this, so its well worth a try.

So back in the 60s all the babies with out dads had so much in commom with the generations before them but it was looked upon as shame now almost everyone has kids out of wedlock and nobody bats an eye

Yes, why is it that quite often when the mother and father of an illegitimate child married shortly afterwards, they moved to a different area of the country before tying the knot?

Several people including me have had this happen.

Ben

my gt Grandmothers baptism record says Caroline fille illegitime de Sophie Matthieu nee 12 et batisee le 29 Juillet 1832
I think it has a better ring to it than illegitimate daughter

In 1835 there is a baptism record which say Ellen daughter of Lucy Blunt reputed father Jonathon Butterworth
Ellen took the name Butterworth
They were both teenagers at the time and eloped to Rochdale and got married a few weeks later
Lucy and Jonathon are my Gt Gt grandparents

my gr gr gr grandma had 3 children and never married,the names of the fathers are all differant and the first name began with a w as did the surname.so i think she just made them up.

My gg grandma (on my dad's side) Jane Brogden had 4 sons and never married.

My g grandfather was her 2nd child, and he was named Arthur Blackburn on his birth cert, a name later used as his middle name, and later still dropped altogether.

So maybe Jane thought Mr Blackburn was going to stick around and marry her but then never did.

Jane is one of my favourite people on my tree. She worked very hard bringing her 4 boys up on her own and I imagine her to have been a strong no-nonsense kind of woman, as well as a bit of a character.

I think I'm also grateful to her for not marrying in a way because that's what's given me the name I've always been proud of.

Maria x

Arrrr - they were a loose living lot

our Sussex forbears!


xxx mick

Hi Teddys

Was your great grandmothers son baptised under his mums name or the husbands name, because he probably was the father if he baptised her as his.

Also, due to there being no birth control, a lot of men did get younger women pregnant and if they travelled several miles to see their female friends, they wouldnt leave without nothing as we say.

If someones wife was ill or away, then often the man would pay around. At least mine admitted paternity, which must have taken a lot of guts.

my father and his half brother..neither knew who their fathers were / grandma clara has a lot to answer for.....sussex again .

My grandparents married three months after my mother was born,
My great grandmother had a son before she married my great grandfather, and no name for father on birth certificate, but on this son's marriage certificate the name of her husband.
We wonder if he was the father, or whether this was done to save face.

I have quite a few.

My half-sister was born out of wedlock. Her father married someone else while visiting family in Ireland before my mother had the chance to tell him she was pregnant. His name has never been revealed and probably never will be.

My mother's mum was also born illegitimately, as was her mother before her. I will never know who the fathers are as the mothers moved to a different county and didn't marry until several years later to someone from the place where they were living.

My paternal grandmother almost was. Her parents married in June 1899 she was born a month later.

My eldest daughter is though I did marry her father two months after she was born.

Several on my tree mostly from Sussex. My 2 x great grandmother for one.Another 2 x great grandmother, married my 2x Great grandfather in kent had 3 children, appears to have run off with the family lodger ,had two more children [base born] lived in Hull for a while as a common law wife, returned to Kent married again under her maiden name [1st husband still alive] no divorce.No children with this one outlived him and ended up living with her married sister.

Mine is in Sussex too. My 3Xgt grandmother was a servant at Ashburnham, when she fell pregnant at the age of 12 or 13 (!) to the Earl of Ashburnham (or one of his sons - we will never know for sure). This story comes down through 3 separate lines in the family, who had no previous contact with each other until I started digging. The story goes that some men came in a carriage to take the baby away and have him educated, but Judith refused to part with him. The baby boy eventually became the gamekeeper on the estate.

xxxxx mick