Genealogy Chat

Do many people have photos of or has anyone seen an ancestors grave, I mean like a great great grandfather or something ?? The only graves I have seen are of my grandparents, before that, a lot of them were buried in unmarked plots in the cemetery. Think that is quite sad really. Was it simply not enough money to pay for headstones do you think ? :( Marie x

Hi Marie Think a lot of it was definately affordability. Could also be that over the years headstones broke and were destroyed. Do know that my gr-grandfather's plot was 'leased' not purchased. When lease was not renewed by family he was moved to an unknown spot and the grave was sold to someone else. Sue

Oh yes, and I get very excited about it! a cousin sent me a photo of my great-great-great-grandparents' grave, it is beautiful, and ever since then I have been following the life of his daughter who had the gravestone erected. Wish I could put a photo here! I have also found a few other non-direct ones. However, some journeys that I have made to cemeteries (physically, or through the help of others) have shown that not all had stones, they could not all afford them, some of which were in the 1930s, I believe.

I found my GGGrandad and wife in Swillington churchyard and it was rather moving. I love the thought ( was said by someone on a WDYTYA ) that although born in 1816 he is only two kisses away. ( he would have kissed my grandma who would have kissed me as a child ). Bob

I visited the church in Norfolk where a bunch of my nan's family originated. (I live in Kent) I knew the gravestones were there as someone had already sent me some photos but seeing them - my gr grandparents and some of their children - plus other relatives - was really amazing. And they'd weathered really well - some gravestones seem to wear away so quickly. I think lack of gravestones may be due to affordability in a lot of cases. When you're in any graveyard the graves can be packed quite close together - it's difficult to tell unless there are several stones in a row - but the gaps between stones are usually graves as well. I hadn;t realised that until I was trying to find a local grave for someone on this site. I just thought that the graves were quite well spaced!! Jill

I think it was a case of puting a headstone on or feeding the family......

PS I have visited Little Glemham to see that gravestone twice now!

I visit the grave of my Gr.Grandfather who is buried with his Grandmother, my Gr.Gr.Gr.Grandmother. Because the inscription is wearing away I have pictures of it. Sheila

Bob, I love that!! Just two kisses away. My grandaughter is lucky enough to have a photo of her with my grandmother. Grand daughter doesn't remember it - she was about a year old, but asks my daughter and me about her g g grandmother, and of course, she is only 2 kisses away from her gx4 grandparents - and I have pictures of them :o) I have the letters my grandparents sent to each other when they were courting.(Gran was 'in service', grandad was a docker) This has made me think maybe I should get my backside into gear and write a book based on them, to make the whole way of life easier to understand for my 5 year old grand daughter, her 6 month old second cousin and the grandchild to be!! There can be no better history lesson than the truth. maggie

Gravestones in my area don't seem to last very long. The local stone is soft and any inscriptions are worn away very quickly. I've got a photo of my great grandparents' headstones but I think most of the family were too poor to have headstones. There is one branch of my family with medieval links and I've seen tombs for a few of them inside churches where they last. Sue

Poorer people often had a wooden cross with their name carved on it. These rotted away quicker than the erosion on stones. Jay

I have a photo of the headstone for my great, great, great grandfather. It also has the name of his wife and four of their children on it. I was over the moon when I found it. I don't think they had much money, but one of the in-laws was a stonemason, so maybe they got it cheap. Kath. x

i am trying to find my great grandfathers grave at the moment. he is buried at Nunhead cemetery in south london. The cemetery is no longer a working cemetery and has been very neglected,apart from my great grandfather his two childen are also there. It is like a jungle and the manager is very hostile to people who are looking for gravestones,they want it to stay a nature reserve and have seem to have forgotten that it was a cemetery and has people's ancestors there, i was lucky last year to find my aunt there after a lot of hunting. headstones have been thrown against trees and broken by groundsmen under instruction by the council it is very disrespectful.

My daughter and I love to go and visit the local places where our ancestors were born and go grave hunting...some trips have been really successful and we always take photos and lay flowers. When I first started looking into our family history we thought that as my maternal nan was born in Dover we originated from Kent. This was so with my gt grandfather's line but I found that my gt grandmother's family actually originated from South Devon. My 2x gt grandfather was b1857 in a small village called Stoke Fleming on the coast...we were amazed. Last month my husband and I went down to Devon for a weeks holiday and of course I had to take the opportunity to visit Stoke Fleming and especially the church and graveyard. I found the graves of my 2x gt grandfather's siblings and more amazingly the grave of my 4x gt grandparents both born in the 1780s. We returned 2 days later and laid flowers...it was like coming home!! Needless to say when showing our holiday snaps the family were aghast to find they were mostly of grave stones and myself walking around the church with my rather crammed over large note book lol!! Linda

When we have found gravestones of ancestors we have left flowers with this poem printed on a small credit card sized piece of laminated paper attached to them. I think it is so appropriate:- DEAR ANCESTOR Your tombstone stands out amongst the rest, Neglected and alone, The name and date are chiselled out in polished marble stone. It reaches out to all who care, It is too late to mourn You did not know that I’d exist, You died and I was born. Yet each of us is cells of you In flesh, in blood, in bone. Our heart contracts, and beats a pulse, Entirely not our own. Dear ancestor, the place you filled One hundred years ago Spreads out amongst the ones you left Who would have loved you so. I wonder how you lived and loved, I wonder if you knew, That someday I would find this spot, And come and visit you. Kath. x

That is lovely Kath. Linda

When I visited England 10 yrs ago I visited Dilhorne. I was delighted in the churchyard to find the grave of my 3X gt grandparents, Richard Bettany and his wife Elizabeth and his 3rd wife Maria, plus some children if Richard and Maria. But up till then I had known only about Elizabeth and Maria, so when i got home to NZ I had a look at the IGI and found his first marriage. I photographed the headstone which was leaning forwards (it helped to protect it from the weather) and also copied down the inscription in case it did not show up in the photo, but it did. A 3rd cousin has since sent photos of the headstone of Richards bro Thomas and his wife Elizabeth, who are also our 3X gt grandparents, plus the headstone of their daughter and son in law who are our gt gt grandparents. I would dearly love photos of more of my ancestors headstones. Here in NZ I have photographed the headstones of 3 sets of gt grandparents, plus the 4th gt grandmother. Her husband is buried in another cemetery with their first daughter. I havent found the grave yet. Perhaps there is no headstone. :( A few months ago I cleaned all the lichen off that gt grandmothers h/stone. I have photographed all these h/stones in case anything happens to them.

I have photo's of graves, the earliest is 1871, and then 3 before 1890, my family did have a bit of money, what did suprise me is the amount of people buried in one plot.I have one that has 11 in it Moira

Thanks very much for all the replies...they made great reading ! Especially Bob and Kath ! I love that 2 kisses away thing and I love that poem. Have printed this page off and am definitely going grave hunting on my next week off from work ! Marie xx

I was lucky to find my gggreatgrandparents grave complete with headstone, but when i first asked the cem wherabouts my gggreatgrandmother was buried they said she was in a grave with unkown members of another family, so i asked who they were and apperntley they all had the same surname, she went on to give me the names and it turned out she was buried with her first husband, her son and his wife, (my ggreatgrandad and grandma)along with one ggreataunt and uncle! what happened was she had married again so had a different surname to the others. so not only did i find them, i also found my ggreatgrandparents. the original grave was for her first husband who died in 1860 and i was surprised to find a beautiful headstone with a poem on as i know they cant have had much money.