Genealogy Chat

Is it just me or are people finding that their ancestors just seemed to drop dead all the time? In one branch alone I have found 6 deaths within 4 years within 3 generations at the turn of the century. A great great grandma of mine had 3 husbands all of whom died on her! Is it just me or does this get you down after a time?

I sent for the marriage certificate of my great grandparents, and then found in a census that he was a widower. I felt really sad that, having only just found them, she had died. Of course they had both been dead since before I was born, so it shouldn't have made any difference. But it did. Jan.

Angela. Most of my forebears according to the records are still alive, even from 1710 !! However, there have been many infant deaths, in one case, 2 of differing ages within a month. Having lost a young son, it made me feel very sad also. John Ranger

Angela I know how you feel. I have felt really emotional discovering what happened to some of my ancestors. My great grandparents lost twins at 5 months old within a week of each other. Their first children. They went on to lose more and not one branch was untouched by the tragedy of infant death. Hard times but it was so common. Beryl Darlington

I find family history research has definitely got a depressing side! Apart from finding genetic illnesses, you also discover how hard life was for some of your ancestors. A very emotional thing, for me, anyway, are all the memories of your more recently departed family members, i.e. parents and grandparents, that the research evokes! Putting all my information and photographs together (and receiving them from long-lost cousins etc.) is a real tug on the old heartstrings! And my goodness...doesn't it make you so much more aware of your own mortality???!!! Blimey!! - Pass the tissues somebody! Sob! Sob! Dierdre X

A few of my relatives died in the 1st WW. I've read about the conditions of the soldiers then and how so many died young. I feel sad about that. One of my great-uncles drowned when the hospital ship he worked on ran aground in a storm near Whitby. He was only 25. Other relatives died at a similar age. What did their parents go through? Were they proud of their country - certainly proud of their sons/daughters! One of my great uncles died in France leaving a son and a pregnant wife (he couldn't have known about this). He was only 30. Another sad incident was when my paternal grandfather's 1st wife died after a c-section in 1926. My uncle survived (and still does in Wem), but what did my grandfather go through - he even put a thank you etc in the local paper. He married again 5 yrs later and my dad was born 7 yrs after that. Why can life seem so terrible and sad sometimes and yet you find some other info out and think wow, that's brilliant! Searching for your family history can be very thought-provoking! John

I think the fact that I have been transcribing deaths for FreeBMD over the past few days has not helped. When you get more and more information on your rellies it's hard not to get attached to them. I worked out from my great great granddad's death certificate (it was very specific) that he must have got typhoid at Christmas time and suffered for 5 weeks before he finally died. My great grandparents and great aunt were killed during WW2 when the shelter they were in took a direct hit. My granddad never talked about it and it's sad that he's no longer around now to talk about all the stuff I have found out. Sometimes feel a bit silly getting emotional about people I never knew but it's nice to know there are others out there feeling and behaving the same :-)

I always find it moving when you discover a new grave. You stand there thinking "I never knew you, and yet I could well look like you, or have got different character traits from you." I also wonder what they would have thought if they knew how hard you worked to find them! Infant deaths are very difficult, my 3X gt grandparents lost twins by age of 2 months plus another couple of babies. Despite it being so common, and I suppose expected in a way, they must still have felt it as we would now. On the other side though, I have been lucky enough to find a good few long-lived ancestors - I'm talking 80+ during the 1800's - which makes me hope I've inherited some of their genes!!

Thought I would add my 2 pence worth - i'm a funeral director so you would think i would be used to death etc. Let me tell you, it can be very harrowing dealing with death each day, and sometime even harrowing when i receive a death cert. of one of my own -my grt-grandmother died at 32 having married at 28, she had two children and died after giving birth to the third - that child survived one month after her mum - grt-grandad only lived until 49 and never remarried - caring for his two small children 4 and 3. We have it made nowadays when compared to the late 1800's I do wonder how folk managed to survive (I know my grt-grandad had his unmarried sister living with him in the 1881 and 1891 census returns, so I suppose she was a surrogate mother to the children) and I also have my suspicions that the maternal grandparents played a big part in the childrens upbringing, as he was an Appraiser of Furniture, and my granddad also made a living doing the same - he must have sat at his grandad's knee and learnt a thing of two (that's what I like to think, anyway). Hey cheer up you lot, we have a lot to be thankful for you know. Jacqui

"A great great grandma of mine had 3 husbands all of whom died on her!" Hey, look on the bright side. 400 years ago she'd probably have been hanged as a witch :)

My father's great-aunt died on the same day she gave birth to her 13th child - the poor little child died 3 weeks later, but on the same day that the child's oldest sister had her first child. It upsets me when I read a death cert. of a young child that states 'mother present at the death'. My great-gran had that experience 3 times. Hazel

I know what you mean Angela! I found myself sitting in the LDS FHC with tears rolling down my cheeks when I found my Nan's name on the INDEX!! I was a complete wreck when I got the actual certificate! She died of pernicious anaemia when my Da was just 4. I looked at my just 4 year old and went to pieces! Nan died when she was only 29 and Grandie went onto remarry some elusive woman! rotfl Obviously I never knew her but it didn't make it any easier. The old fella reckons I was going soft in the head! Sonja

I knew that my grandfather commited suicide, I knew how, but when I sent for his death certificate and it said "self inflicted throat wound" I went cold. It was different seeing it in writing. I think he was very brave to do that with a cut throat razor. Margaret

Hi Margaret, I felt the same way when I found out the death certificate of my GG Aunt. She died the same way as your Grandfather. I can't imagine how someone could do that so themselves. She was in an Asylum and I thought that maybe a fellow in-mate might have been involved! Regards Margaret

In the first few hours of begining my family tree I found my grandparents had 2 more children who no one knew about, one was their first born. They have kept this a secret for 65 and 70 years. This was news to my mum who was one of ten who are all still alive until she found by accident the birth and death certificates of a youger brother several years ago and now she is one of 13. I have yet to try to find entries for their deaths and get the certificates and part of me is somewhat reluctant because of what I might find, or worse still not find! I kind of hope they passed away quickly and peacefully, but there is always the alternative that they lived with someone else and went on to have families. I could have a few more cousins out there....

It's bad enough to find out about lost babies and children in your ancestor's families, it's even worse when you lose your own babies(I lost two in the 70's) ,but at least you can understand what heartache they must have gone through.

It is very sad, but you must remember that, by trying to find your ancestors and the bits of their lives that are shown to you by certificates, censuses and wills, you are remembering, and in a way rejoicing the fact that, if it weren't for them, you wouldn't be here, and the events in their lives may have influenced the way you were brought up. Rather like a modern form of ancestor worship really!

I don't find myself getting that emotional, but I suppose I'm used to it. Since 1997, there has been one death in my family every year. We're certainly keeping the funeral directors in business! My relatives either die very young (under 21) or very old (80s/90s). Maybe I've not found them yet, but it doesn't look like many of my relatives lost children - just two infant deaths so far - and only my grandfather lost his parents very young (he was orphaned by age 7).

Hi Angela Me to i lost my dad in 1989 then my brother was killed in a accident in 1991 leaving to small boys. It does get very sad. theresa.x

Hi Angela, I found that my ggg grandmother died when my gg grandfather was only two and that upset me. Laurie