Genealogy Chat

I understand how you feel. I was told yesterday (Sunday) that my uncle died suddenly on Friday. The worst thing is that Christmas is coming and everyone else is so happy.

Dear Eleanor, I was so saddened to hear of your loss. No words can ever express the sympathy I feel for you and Tony. These words are not mine, they are taken from The Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran. "When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." My thoughts are with you, Sue

My thoughts are with you. Liz

Dear Eleanor, My thoughts and prayers are with you at this saddest of times. My sister-in-law lost her sister in August - at 37 she was murdered by a stranger, so I know some of the feelings going though you at the moment. Get a pillow and take out some of your pent up feelings - give it a good thrashing and then have a good cry. Hope you will soon find some peace. Nesta

Eleanor and Tony, So sorry to hear of your sad news. I can only say that you are in my thoughts and prayers and that you will find some comfort in time. Allie.

Dear Eleanor, I was so very,very sorry to hear of your sad loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and all your family at this very sad time. Please remember all the good times that you have had with your sister and take 1 day at a time. You will find things that will make you laugh as well as cry. Sadly i lost 2 brother's very suddenly, one 4years ago and the other brother 3 years ago, but beleive me memories do help and things do get better although you never will forget them. Take care and godbless Cynthia

Dear Eleanor and Tony, My thoughts are with you. What a sad story. My dad passed away in February 2001 but believe me the hurt and anger does fade and you will slowly replace these feelings with happy memories and fond remembrances of your sister. Part of my Christmas routine is to place a holly wreath and card on the graves of dad and my ex-husbands mother who I grew very close to and nursed at my home until she died of cancer. The people we lose are always in our heart and mind. Penny will always be with you. Smile and laugh when you feel happiness, enjoy your Christmas with no feelings of guilt, celebrate your sister's life rather than mourn her death. All of us contemplate our own death at times, the thought of my husband and children suffering my loss is what bothers me more than the unknown final journey we all have to make. From what you say about Penny, she was a very caring person and would not want you be hurting now. I never had the courage to tell my dad ' I Love you ' before he died because we are not a demonstrative family and we didn't want him to know how ill he really was. I regret that very much but hope that he died knowing he was loved. My mother-in-law died with me holding her hand and the last words I said to her as she passed was ' I love you Sylve ' My condolences to you...........................Pam

Dear Everyone. I am completely overwhelmed by the love and kindness I have received from this site in the last 24 hours. I didn't post the message to get a response, my pain is just so new and raw I had to let it out. I am very lucky to be part of a very close loving family and we have been together ever since my mum phoned with the horrible news on Saturday morning. I know I am not alone in my painful experience and my heart goes out to all of you who have posted messages here for me who have suffered similarly. Some of you have even sent me private emails - thank you all very much too. Penny was truly one in a million. She was physically disabled and nothing came easily for her except her uncanny ability to make people love her and her incredible memory which allowed her to suprise people with little details about themselves and others (many of which they would rather have forgotten!!). She had seven nieces and nephews who loved her dearly as well as the rest of our family. Every single person we have called with the news has sunk into deep shock. Most people who we called on Saturday assumed we were phoning with some new suprise information about something that was going to happen at the party. No one expected to hear what we had to tell. I have taken such comfort from your warm, heartfelt messages, thank you all once again. I know it will all get easier to bear as time goes on. With love and thanks, Eleanor xxx

Just seen your posting Eleanor, so sorry to hear about your sister. Thinking of you, and don't forget that you have friends on here whenever you need someone to talk to.

from Tracey and Kevin. With life there is wonderful memories,surrounding your family.Thinking of you xx

Dear Eleanor,I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.Nothing can take away this terrible pain,but also nothing can take away your memories. My thoughts are with you, Elaine

Dear Eleanor, So sorry to hear your sad news, I lost my Dad last February and although he was 79 it was such a shock he fought in intensive care for 5 weeks but it was not to be. Someone gave my Mum this poem and my Mum , my Sister and I keep it in our bags with a photo of him. Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away in the next room. I am I and you are you, whatever we were to each other we still are. Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy tone you always used. Put no difference into you tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without effort, without a ghost of a shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was, there is absolute unbroken continuity. What is death but a negligible accident? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near. Just around the corner. All is well. Hope this helps, thinking of you, Maggie.

Deear Eleanor; My thoughts and prayers are with you at this very sad time. Teresa

Thank you once again for all your messages. I have told my family about your warmth and kindness and they are all very grateful. Tomorrow, Tuesday 16th December, we shall say our final goodbye to our lovely Penny at the service which will begin at 1.00pm. Penny loved music and poetry and so there will be plenty of both. December was definitely her favourite month of the year with not only her birthday but Christmas to look forward to. We have decided in her memory to ask the organist to play her favourite carol " The Sans Day Carol" and people will arrive to the strains of the Twelve Days of Christmas which Penny would sing often - loudly! Can I ask you to spare a thought for Penny tomorrow so that we can send her safely off to her final resting place. With Love Eleanor xxxx

Dear Eleanor I would like to say I am so sorry for your loss,but what I feel from your email that it was in fact a fantasic gain you had in your life you speak so lovingly of your sister you had 40 years to love and care for and obviously be loved very much back. It is hard when someone is taken from you physically, but you have such wonderful memories in your heart nobody can take them away. I know today and for a while days maybe bloody horrible,but one day soon you will cry and laugh at the memories of your sister and still be proud she was your sister. I hope today runs smoothly and you get to celebrate the great life and love she had. take care Jan x

Dear Eleanor, My heart goes out to you in your grief. The death of a loved one is such a painful experience, and when it comes suddenly without warning as it did, it must have left you with such an emotional shock as well. How are your parents coping? The loss of a child takes everything out of context. You never expect to bury your child. I feel so sorry for you all at this terribly tragic time. Try to remember and talk about all the funny little things that happened in her life. It may help. Lot of love, Kathy xx