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Most Amusing .... reason for leaving a church!!

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Unknown

Unknown Report 8 Sep 2004 20:57

Like many of you, I've had a real good laugh at the Most Amusing Cause of Death thread and thought you might like this. I was doing some research today on my g/g/grandfather who was a Baptist preacher and I came across a website for what seems a very nice Baptist church in Suffolk. They have lots of old records published online, including membership records. I hope you might find some of these reasons for leaving the church amusing! Mandy :))

Unknown

Unknown Report 8 Sep 2004 21:00

Left under dishonourable circumstances Left under painful imputations (must look that one up!) Died peacefully after deep afflictions Died peacefully in Christ after distressing affliction Expelled for immoral conduct Suspended for misconduct Not hilarious I admit, but maybe worth a little giggle!

Tracy

Tracy Report 8 Sep 2004 21:03

My Dad left church after pinching my 1 year old son to make him cry at a wedding awfull man

Unknown

Unknown Report 8 Sep 2004 21:10

I have a distressing affliction everytime I go to a church. I always seem to get an uncontrollable fit of the giggles.

Unknown

Unknown Report 8 Sep 2004 21:23

Tracy when he pinched him, did he give him a painful imputation???? Lyla, better to laugh than cry lol. My hubby is a Methodist lay preacher and one day he was coming down out of the very tiny pulpit in one of our smaller churches when he slipped and fell all the way down. Good job I wasn't there, I would have pmsl!!!

Carol

Carol Report 8 Sep 2004 21:27

Everytime I go near a church, especially a local one, I have a compulsive urge to scan all the gravestones.

Tracy

Tracy Report 8 Sep 2004 21:29

Dont no about painfull imputation but he screamed the place down and i was matron of honour very embarrasing

Unknown

Unknown Report 8 Sep 2004 21:39

Brilliant Marion LOL!

Anne

Anne Report 8 Sep 2004 22:28

Hi Marian, Loved your church story, I said that once 'pleased to meet you', my family never let me forget it, 'its peace be with you' but whenever we go to church they always rush to shake my hand and say 'pleased to meet you' oh how they smirk lol. Peace be with you Lynda

Unknown

Unknown Report 9 Sep 2004 01:27

ime with lyla,on this one,any place where quiet is the norm,anything that happens starts me giggling,and i cant stop. my daughter aged about six,was a flower girl at a church wedding,the vows were being said,and my daughter broke wind rather loudly...say no more,i had to leave the very silent ,full of echo church,pretty smartish. bryan.

Unknown

Unknown Report 9 Sep 2004 08:51

It is impossible to stop giggling once you start - despite the fact that everyone is turning to look at you. I always leave the church with a very red face. Whenever I fidget in my seat it is always the one that makes a sound as if I have just passed wind! And as I mouth the word to the hymns I always seem to be standing by the person singing with gutso and very out of tune!

Seasons

Seasons Report 9 Sep 2004 09:32

Worse still is when the priest/vicar says something not quite right and it has a double meaning. Several times its happened in my church and looking around trying not to laugh out loud but catching the eye of others that have realised what he's said. Best part is when the priest/vicar doesn't realise or even better when he does!!!! Especially with the strait laced ones!!!!

Unknown

Unknown Report 9 Sep 2004 09:46

Was listening to a sermon once when all of a sudden the minister started speaking funny and then put his hanky over his mouth ... and then continued the rest of the sermon without his false teeth which he had spat into his hanky. I was a teenager, sat with others, and we must have nearly burst blood vessels trying not to laugh too loud!!

Unknown

Unknown Report 9 Sep 2004 09:58

At my Nans funeral the whole family was in stitches much to everyones disapproval. (She would have loved it!) The vicar was quite seriously explaining how she was a busy lady and was never at home when he called round to visit. What he didn’t know was that Nan used to hide in the pantry until he had gone.

Unknown

Unknown Report 9 Sep 2004 10:17

Found some more: Died happily in consequence in an accident the week before Died happily at an advanced age Died comfortable Expelled for very improper conduct and for refusing to let the church investigate Expelled for irregularities Died with a comfortable hope Expelled for separation from wife Died suddenly at prayer Died triumphant in the Redeemer Died a few days after joining Lost membership by indifference

Unknown

Unknown Report 9 Sep 2004 13:20

Liz, absolutely - we are a churchgoing family and always say the church is for the sinner, not the saint. Mandy :)

Christine in Herts

Christine in Herts Report 9 Sep 2004 16:54

Hi This didn't cause us to leave the church but it caused alot of white knuckles on the pews! At a wedding you have to be extremely careful to avoid double entendres... things that are quite innocuous at any other time acquire any number of inappropriate connotations. Unfortunately... The clergyman who was taking the service and preaching announced the text on which he was basing his talk at the start. Nothing unusual in that, you might say, but how many would be unaware enough to choose this from the psalms for a wedding address: And the Lord shall bless thy going out and thy coming in. My husband was best man and heard the concerted intake of breath from the congregation as he watched the bridesmaid's knuckles whiten on the pew beside him! In fact there was a whole succession of bizarre things that happened but that really was The Punch Line. Christine

☼♥Missy

☼♥Missy Report 9 Sep 2004 19:43

Oh Tracey, you really made me laugh. That is the sort of thing I usually do so now I always make sure I sit at the back and can follow everyone else. Lorrainex

Malcolm

Malcolm Report 9 Sep 2004 20:01

Hi Mandy How about being totally legless (Yes I own up to it) 12 fit young soldiers doing mountain traning in the Lake District in June.(a few years ago) We come down of the mountains after roughing it for a week and decide to make camp in the valley. What do we find but The Church standing there with the door open and it seemed quicker to go inside and get something to eat and drink. We drank so much we were all totally out of it (should have put the tents up first). Never mind I dont think any of us felt the lumps in the ground that night. Its not as bad as it sounds ---- honest The Church was a pub. Mal ( wiil be up your way at the end of the month)

Unknown

Unknown Report 9 Sep 2004 20:45

Hiya Mal Nice one, nearly caught me out!!! Thanks for your help with Baptist minister query, makes sense now. You up here visiting rellies (dead or alive lol)?? Mandy :)