Genealogy Chat

Yes, its very sad when you get a death cert for a baby aged 5 weeks, who had something unheard of these days. But for all the sad stories, there are happy ones. The gt gt grandparents who died within a month of eachother, both well into old age, having raised 4 healthy children, etc. It is impossible for us to imagine how they viewed their lives, but I do think that it must have been frustrating for the clever women, who never got a decent education and were unable to do anything other than marry and have tons of kids.

You're not mad at all. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I wish I could have known my ancestors, more importantly my great grandparents (and even my grandpop who I never knew) just to let them know who I am.... you hear about them through your parents or something, it's in living memory but you can't reach out and touch them!! Weird, huh?

Marjorie I like to think they did have a sense of humour. From the photos I have of my great aunts they were all mad as hatters! They were born in the late 1800s but I like to think they inherited their sense of humour from their (and my) ancestors. Louise I find myself being drawn to certain children or mothers and praying that I can find them on the next census to make sure they made it! It's a strange feeling..... Debby

Judith You are not alone. I have felt like you and by the look of the replies it's a common way to feel. I was very moved to find that one of my g g grandfathers was deaf from birth, according to the census, and wondered how he managed. Then I guessed he might not be able to speak and a silent husband didn't seem so bad after all - mine is always rabbiting on! My great great grandmother lost two husbands before she was 40 and then her third marriage failed. How hard must that have been. I am descended from the first marriage and wonder why no-one talked about the children of the other two marriages. Their daily lives were so hard, but they must have had the same emotions as us. Culture said you just got on with it if your children died etc, but I'm sure they felt the same as we do. Sheila

I get quite emotional when I think of my rellies who died in childbirth at such a young age, leaving families of little children, and of all their babies and children who died. What a hard life they all had.

Aren't we a soft lot! All teary eyed over stuff that's over and done with many moons ago! Nice to know I'm not the only one who has to blink,blink ,blink the dust from her eye when a particular name finally appears on the page. (FOUND YOU!) I often feel drawn to a particular line or family, I wonder if just as we reach back to find them, they reach forward to us? And just like we want to reassure and comfort them with their struggles I'm sure they feel the same for us. Compassionate lot really ,not soft, strong. Louise

I often wonder what my rellies would think if they looked up in 1707 and saw me staring through the window at them! Can you imagine how amazed they would be that we were all going to the bother of finding out about their boring humdrum (to them, anyway, I'm sure) lives. What I'd REALLY like to know is, did they ever have a laugh, or was it all gloom and doom and toil and trouble? Olde Crone

I just got back from an evening out to read all your experiences of becoming involved in the ancestors lives. Wonderwhether people some time in the future will be doing the same with our lives? I hope those of you who are still searching will find a happy outcome. My Margaret and John were together for 46 years until Margaret's death, and had 9 children (though that first baby died aged 3). They did get married, but not until they'd lived as man and wife for 38 years - when I find a way of going back to speak to them I must ask about that. Oh by the way MMM, don't worry I learned from years of watching Doctor Who that one should never try to change events when time travelling :-) Judith

I dearly wish I knew what happened to my great aunt Daisy, the illegitimate daughter of my great grandmother, born in the local workhouse 1888, on census up to 1901, can't find a marriage or death for her. Lisa

I nearly cried when I found out about my ggrandmother. She had nine children in total but only four survived childhood. Her first husband died, her 2 yr old son died and her grandmother all within 6 mnths of each other. Then she found she was expecting twins. The twins were born and then died within 3 months. She remarried had another child and was widowed once again. She was a real survivor.

I havnt got that far back yet, but Today I have managed to get loads of info on my Grandfathers family, and also his wedding date. I know its not that far back but I sat in the Libary and got a lump in my throat thinking of my grandparents starting out their married life together, and at the begining of the war .....i was soo happy with my discovery I had to tell the stranger sitting next to me.. Anita x

I feel often that I knew mine, especially a particular G Grandfather who died 30 years before I was born, felt he was pushing me every step of the way, and I never even knew his name till I started my tree, now I have his pic from someone with the same GG Grandfather, through this site.

I felt so sad when I saw the 1861 census for my rellie - on board his fishing boat aged 25. Within the year the boat would be wrecked and his body lost forever. it's that feeling that you can look into their future for them that gets to me...... Judith - Just make sure that when you go back to tap your gg-grandmother on the shoulder, you ONLY tell her everything will work out fine - don't tell her to be careful, or you may find yourself disappearing! MMM

I didn't really know much about my maternal grandmother's family until I started my research. I have in my possession a necklace that belonged to my ggrandmother, but had never really thought about it before. It was something she must have actually worn! My mum never knew her grandmother, she died 2 yrs before my mum was born, she was only 56. From what I have learned she had four marriages, in her (relatively) short life, and at least one baby that died within 4 hours of being born. She died of peritonitis, due to pancreatitis. I often wonder what her life must have been like, was her condition caused by alcohol? And 4 husbands? was she mad or hoplessly romantic? I will never know!

As you say, we all get emontional of 'our family' my g.g.granddad died aged 31 leaving 2 small children under the age of 5, I thought of my own son who was the same age and has children the same age. It really upset me, I sent for the death certificate to find out why he died but the cause of death wasn't recorded. It took me ages to shake it off. What are we like? Pauline

I strongly believe that the reason most of us are tracing our trees, is because they are family and we want to share their lives as much as possible, the good times and the bad. I must admit I have cried over mine, a gr uncle married on his last leave before he was killed in the 1st WW and never told his family, or change his next of kin forms and so his wife didn't find out until 7 months after the event. Even knowing that I will cry again at some point will not stop me carrying on.

Hi I could not get over the fact that my mothers great uncle died at 24 he killed himself and I got the newspaper account of what had happened at the inquest and it made sad reading his father and the people he worked with had given evidence. Margaret x

I think everyone gets obsessional at times. I have a relative who died in the summer of 1881. When I saw him on the 1881 census, my first thought was that he and his wife didn't know then that time was already running out for them.

Good to know others share the same feelings. At least we can comfort ourselves with the fact our ancestors must have been tough enough to withstand all that happened, else we wouldn't be here now. Judith

I got really upset when I found my G-grandmothers cousin had killed himself with a shotgun at the age of 17. I am still trying to find the inquest report to find out what on earth made him do something so awful & waste his life. Last year I actually located his grave and put some flowers down- 140 years after his death. I feel sad when I see his name on my tree with no wife next to him or children to follow. I think these feelings are normal- afterall, these people are our family!!!