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Relatives email - then silence: what's that about?

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Hilary

Hilary Report 24 Oct 2005 22:46

Thanks for all the positive replies :) and good insights too. I live in hope that one particular rellies might come back to me as they're the side of the family we've been trying to 'crack' for years - and, weirdly, the day before I'd said to a cousin, well, short of a miracle we've gone as far we can go - and then, blow me down, the very next day we get this contact! (I guess it's not as disappointing though as a friend who's adopted and saw someone 'looking' for him - he replied and has never had a response - heartbreaking for him!) Also, I realise that at some points that there's a couple of emails I've not further responded to - if only because of being overwhelmed with contacts and messages etc... promise to go back and check them all! I do find that the message contacts system could be a little more user-friendly though! It would be good to more easily check and arrange them - maybe export them off line or something and be able to organise them.. Does any one else get overwhelmed by volume and organising? Many thanks and warm regards to all Hilary

Horatia

Horatia Report 24 Oct 2005 23:26

Hilary, Yes, I have over 1,600 people in my tree and I get lots of contacts. I'm not too bad at the moment because I'm not working - but when I was at work and used to come home very tired, all those contacts were a little overwhelming and yes, I don't find the contact system very user-friendly. I tend to get a lot of very thin contacts. I think it would be useful to have a facility where contacts could see how many instances of a surname people have on their trees. Then perhaps they wouldn't all approach me with the mistaken impression that I am carrying out a one-name study of their particular surname interest! ;-) I don't know about you but I get a lot of people wanting me to open my 1,600 name tree up to them when I only have 1 or 2 people on my tree they would be interested in!!! In cases such as this, I prefer just to type out the relevant details. I also get a lot of people opening their tree to me and my shared trees section looks like Epping Forest. I am grateful that people are trying to be helpful, but I would prefer that they gave me a few more details before opening their tree. It's very hard work scrolling through hundreds of names before you get to the letter W! ;-) Cheers, Lynn

Phoenix

Phoenix Report 25 Oct 2005 00:03

Hilary, you are definitely not alone. I try desparately not to even open a message until I think I am in a position to answer it, then I yield to temptation. Not all my information is on computer and not every scrap of paper is readily to hand. It is so easy to lose track of who I have replied to when I have to go off and rummage. I try to remember to add a sentence to the effect that my intentions are good, but I am forgetful, and to contact me again if I don't respond within a reasonable time.

Chris in Sussex

Chris in Sussex Report 25 Oct 2005 00:31

Abbess What a good idea! I am falling foul more and more as each day passes to 'senior moments'. It doesn't seem to matter how many notes I leave myself or even marking my messages from Genes in my 'otmail box as unread I still manage, occaissionaly, to 'miss' replying again to a contact I have sent a 'holding' message. From now on I will include in my 'holding' something along the lines of..... I'm old....Forgetful....Forgive...And give me a kick if I don't reply within 7 days :)))) Chris

Zoe

Zoe Report 25 Oct 2005 01:36

In defece of non-repliers (if I may) for the first year or so I was a member I was an 'immediate responder' to all enquiries - even just to say No, sorry, but good luck with your research. Since I've changed jobs I've had less and less time to pay attention to the family tree and I've now had to take a weeks holiday to be able to sit in front of the computer and sort out my most needed bits and head off to records offices as I have hardly done a thing since June. Before when anyone contacted me I would know immediately who they were talking about, how I was related and how much info I had on them. Now I have to trawl through all my research to find the name and try and figure what I know before I can respond. As much as I wish i could reply straight away to anyone it's just not possible and I have probably - along the way - replied to someone and said I'll get back to them and now can't remember that I've done it. In this situation I wouldn't mind being given a gentle nudge by someone to say'hey you - have you forgotten me' So we're not all bad - some of us just can't cope with doing a normal day job and then spending more time in the evening sat in front of the magic box some more Zoe