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If only I'd been a bit more interested.

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Joy *The Carlos Cutie of Ilson*

Joy *The Carlos Cutie of Ilson* Report 23 Nov 2005 16:13

I used to visit my Great Aunts when I was younger and they always used to talk about family. Made a mental note of names, etc then when I got home wrote everything down. My trouble was in finding my notes after 20 odd years, found it eventually in my Mother's loft!!!!! Joy

Joy

Joy Report 23 Nov 2005 13:12

.... and if only I had written down the stories that my Grandad used to tell me! I listened avidly, but didn't write them down!! He was born in 1880 and achieved his goal of reaching his 100th birthday. He joined the army in 1896 having given his age as 18, was stationed in Dorchester, and served in India. (Dorset Regiment: Primus in Indus.) Before then, he worked his way from Buckinghamshire to London, sleeping under hedges on the way. After the army, he was a policeman in the Met. Oh, the stories he used to tell!! :-) Joy

Conan

Conan Report 23 Nov 2005 09:21

Your thread, My Lady Holden, has some poignancy for me also. For I have a very big 'if only'. I knew my father for 48 years, but not once in all that time did I bother to ask him anything about himself. When he died in 1999 I suddenly realized that I knew virtually nothing about him, and even less about his parents, grandparents etc. That's what started me on this road that is so familiar to all of us. With a lot of research, a lot of luck and a lot of help from so many fine people on here I have traced his lineage back to about 1770. But I know nothing of any of them, they are just names and dates on a bit of paper. To any of you with elderly relatives who are still alive, and who you have still not 'interviewed', I would say go out and get them now. For your opportunity can disappear in the blink of an eye, and you will always be kicking yourself with the words 'if only'.

Victoria

Victoria Report 23 Nov 2005 05:25

Oh but Adam Faith was lovely!! Some of the postings here resonate. I was always very interested in family history but didn't think to ask my Great Grandmother (born 1870) much about her family and she died when I was 17. Neither did I think to ask her son, my grandfather until it was too late. I left England in 1963 - and doing the family tree was no sinecure then. None of the things we rely on today was available. And no one could understand my interest either - my maternal grandmother thought me very odd! I think that growing up in a closeknit family and knowing all her relations made her unable to comprehend how it felt NOT to have that knowledge and the security that came with it. One night when her sister was visiting from London sometime in the '70s they named all the people living in their street (Harleton Street, formerly Harley Street, Battersea) on the night Mafaking was relieved (or it was known about in England anyway) and could not for the life of them understand why my mother found this funny! Victoria Canberra ACT

~~~Hz by the River~

~~~Hz by the River~ Report 23 Nov 2005 03:01

I'm so lucky that my Dad at 87 remembers so much, not only our own history but all the neighbours,school chums, army mates, history of our district from settlement etc etc over his long life. He is a real people person and I've taped a lot of chats over the years. I only started organising paperwork this year, and my 14 yr old is dead bored with all the family stuff her Mum is collecting (and using her computer time for LOL) but one day it will all be hers (only child) so worth it. Dad's brain is worth bottling!! Best thing I did in my early 20's visiting England was get Great Uncle to write out his tree for me - I've confirmed it pretty much now back to 1794 ish. Also when my dau was born I got remaining Great Aunt to write her a letter about her childhood - now a lovely legacy. Heather in Australia

PennyDainty

PennyDainty Report 23 Nov 2005 00:55

Hi Old Crone I remember being oh so bored when my Granny, who was from Skye, used to rhyme off all her family tree going back generations. It used to be a great tradition in the Highlands (don't know if it still is) for people to know their family history orally. If only she had written it all down, or I hadn't been a bored teenager and listened! Christine

An Olde Crone

An Olde Crone Report 23 Nov 2005 00:50

Janet Yes, I too remember being dragged off to visit other non-specified rellies and having to sit quietly while they gossiped. One time I remember, they pulled the bones out of one of their cronies who had been spotted out shopping - without a hat! Bold strap! The other thing which mortifies me, is when they finally died in the late 60s, my Dad and I had to clear their house. We PAID a man £10, I think it was, to take the lot - mahogany wardrobes, chaise-longues, pictures, ornaments, the lot. That house was purchased in 1845 and had had nothing much replaced since that time. Olde Crone

Janet in Yorkshire

Janet in Yorkshire Report 23 Nov 2005 00:40

Old Crone, Love your thread - it's brought back wonderful memories of my early childhood when my Nanna used to take me with her when she visited her friends! Had to sit quietly up the corner whilst they discussed all their other friends who weren't there. Unlike you, I listened avidly and I know an awful lot about the characters who lived in the village years ago, but sadly I never gleaned very much about my own forebears! Janet

Maurice

Maurice Report 23 Nov 2005 00:28

Olde Crone, Have you looked in the trade directories for the Greengrocer in Middleton, ? Google -Historical Directories- You will then find the Greengrocer -listed under tradesmen - His name may ring a bell - if not look him up on the census anyway if you think any of your family could have been living there, Maurice

An Olde Crone

An Olde Crone Report 23 Nov 2005 00:02

Libby Sadly, I don't know the name of the Greengrocers, cos I wasn't listening! But I have a vague memory of going there, to be shown off to 'Auntie Cora'. Some of the Middleton rellies were called Whittaker. I think my Aunts recollections would probably have been quite accurate, they both lived till their late nineties and were sharp as needles right to the end - Auntie Emily dropped dead in the Butchers (LOL - she would have thought that was so funny, I know she would!) and Auntie Polly just died in her sleep. My Mum and Dad lived with these two when they were first married (Mum and Dad I mean). My Mum, who was only 17 when I was born, caught nits from somewhere or other when she was pregnant and the two Aunties set about her with vinegar and a toothcomb, shouting loudly 'Nay lass, dawnt cry, us'll ave the biggars!'. Other relatives, equally as old, were consulted and the consensus of opinion was that Mum had to sleep in a room with burning feathers in the firegrate. Mum says it was lucky she and I survived. But I want to know what their childhood was like...they were cheerful busy souls. Polly married age 20 (she lied) gave birth ahem, seven months after the wedding. Fifteen months later she had buried both her child and her husband. She never married again. Emily had a slight squint and was considered unmarriagable. Her sister's husband - my G-GF - gave her and Polly a home after his wife died. When Emily was about 40, the Coalman came a-calling and GGF saw him off with a flea in his ear, presumably afraid that he was going to lose his unpaid staff. I wonder if she was sad about this. Rambling again! Olde Crone

Liberty64

Liberty64 Report 22 Nov 2005 23:43

Olde Crone, Which greengrocers in Middleton are you refering to?? or was that just a example of your Aunts chatter! Lib:)) with ancestors in Middleton, Manchester.

Unknown

Unknown Report 22 Nov 2005 23:17

Hi Olde Crone! My mother in law is 83 now and has always chatted a lot to me about her family! Hubby was never interested in her stories, until he too got into family history! She has photographs of HER Granny and down the generations! We have only just copied the photos and written down who everyone is! Ooooh Im SO envious as my earliest photograph is of my Grandad in WW1! ;o))) Kim

Jane in the Highlands

Jane in the Highlands Report 22 Nov 2005 22:27

I remember my gran and her sister bickering happily with each other, and they both used to tell me stories about their childhood in Cornwall. Stories which I can hardly remember now, tho I have wondered if I should try hypnosis to drag back those memories. It feels like they are still in my memory, only just out of reach. Jane

Unknown

Unknown Report 22 Nov 2005 22:26

Olde Crone Well, I don't recall ever discussing anything with my grannie about her family - but I do know from what she told my mum that her memory wasn't always reliable. But, bless her, she kept all the letters my grandfather wrote her from when they started as penpals during WW1 all through their married life, she also kept obituaries, photos, and the church newsletters mentioning her wedding and my mum's christening. It works both ways - we can't ask for more info, but we can't share it with them either. I know my dad would be really interested in what I've found out about his grandparents and great-grandparents. nell

Phoenix

Phoenix Report 22 Nov 2005 22:22

One great aunt lived to be 96. I had nearly twenty years to pump her (and if pcs and the internet and search engines had been around then I might have been able to pump her to better purpose) but.... I was thwarted by a mother who asked leading questions. 'He was called such-and such, wasn't he?' 'Ye-es, dear. I think so' and you could see a look of bewilderment come into the old lady's eyes. After a while, her reminiscences were so hopelessly compromised by what my mother told her was the truth, that no reliance could be placed on them, while her eyesight was so poor that she was unlikely to recognise a photo of her mother unless blown up to the size of a poster. I would like to talk to her now, to tell her that her grandfather WAS brought up by his aunt: I've found them together on the 1841 census. And I would like to listen, to what she wanted to tell, not what I wanted to hear.

Suein10b

Suein10b Report 22 Nov 2005 21:51

Old Crone Gosh just reading your thread and your remembrance of the conversation gave me a definite feeling of de ja vue. Likewise I was the one yawning. How I wish !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Id listened Sue

Lisa

Lisa Report 22 Nov 2005 21:48

I had to do my family for homework at school, went to see my granny who promptly rattled off the names of all her brothers and sisters, all my grandads brothers and sisters, her parents names, grandads parents names. Oh how I wish I'd kept this - its been a long hard process to find them all again - and I still haven;t located any of grandads siblings. Lisa

Horatia

Horatia Report 22 Nov 2005 21:06

Great Thread! I keep telling my daughter that she will be interested one day in Family History, and will wish she had listened more when I was boring her!! I'll make sure I'll leave her lots of records so that she won't be going 'If only....' too much!

Linda G

Linda G Report 22 Nov 2005 20:58

Hi Olde Crone, Your little 'conversation' made me really laugh. I remember my Mum and Gran, both now sadly gone, having chats like that. We used to talk about 'old family' a lot and luckily I know quite a few things. Although they did omit to tell me that two of my Grans sisters married two of her husbands brothers. Also that the Rosetta that I had been so fondly looking at on the 1891 census wasn't my Gran at all. THat child died of measles and my Gran arrived 4 months later and was called Rosetta after the dead child. Perhaps they never knew themselves about the baby Linda

Joy

Joy Report 22 Nov 2005 20:54

if only.... if only..... I have often said