Genealogy Chat

We are the chosen, my feeling is that in each family there is one who seems called to find the ancestors, to put flesh on their bones and make them live again, to tell the family story and to feel that somehow those who went before know and approve, to me, doing genealogy is not a cold gathering of facts but, instead breathing life into all who, we owe our very existence to, We are the storytellers of the tribe, all tribes have one, We have been called as if it were in our genes, those who have gone before cry out to us; tell our story, so we do. In finding them, we somehow find ourselves.How many graves have i stood before now and cried? I have lost count. How many times have i told my ancestors,'you have a wonderful family,you would be proud of us' How many times have i walked up to a grave and felt, somehow, there was love there for me? i cannot say.The bones here are bones of my bone and flesh of my flesh, it goes to doing some thing about it,. It goes to pride in what our ancestors were able to accomplish How they contributed to what we are today. It goes to respecting their hardships and losses, their never giving in or giving up, to build a life for their families, so we might be born who we are, that we might remember them, So we do. With Love and caring and scribing each fact of their existence because we ARE them and they are us. I tell the story of my family. It is up to the one called in the next generation, to answer the call and take their place in the long line of family storytellers. That is why I do my family genealogy, and that is what calls those, young and old, to step up and put Flesh on the Bones. Adapted from a newsletter called 'SONS OF NORWAY' Anyone agree with this, would welcome your comments,.

Oh Derek, thats lovely, really touching and just how I feel too. When I stood in front of the graves stones of my GGPX4 - people who died 125 years before I was even born I still felt this love and closeness to them. And such a comforting feeling of the continuance of life. My sister though interested really cant see how I can feel this for people I have never met. I too stand and think, 'If only you knew how well we have all done, how we have survived and how we live in what you would think was aristocratic luxury - and its because of you that we are doing so' As you say, perhaps some of us are just called for the job of carrying on the family story.

What's wrong with gardening? One of my ggg-grandfathers was a gardener.

That's very well put and certainly true. Although most of my family are interested in anything I find out about our family history, none of them feel the need to find any facts themselves. The first grave I found after starting my family tree was that of my grandparents. Although this doesn't sound very far removed from me, and was in the town where I was born and grew up, they had both died long before I was born and I hadn't been aware of their grave before. I felt for the first time that I actually had grandparents. I've since found the graves of quite a few relatives and always feel a real connection to these long dead people. I just hope someone in the family feels the need to carry on with the research after I am gone. Kath. x

That is lovely and it is exactly how it is. To me, ancestors are not just dead people, or names on a census - they are real, and I can clearly imagine how they lived, how they felt and even what they looked like! And its true that very few people feel like that and those that do are here! Bev x PS I love gardening too!

Thats wonderful and just the way I feel. My family history didn't interest me until recent years when my children were born and my Dad died suddenly. These events brought my life into perspective and for once I could see what life was all about. I felt compelled to find out about my ancestors. It's really been a journey of discovery for me, and has led me to be more self assured than I've ever been before. I want to document my family's story for my children and future generations to treasure, so that my ancestors will never be forgotten. Most of my family are keen to hear of my latest discoveries. However my brother has no interest at all. His interests lie in football. Each to their own. Becoming a member of this website was one of the best things I did. I have made many contacts, the majority have been wonderful. It's good to be amongst a group of like minded lovely people. Rachel

HI, When i started my tree i did`nt even know my grandparents names, now with a little help from family members and A LOT of help from people on these boards i have found relatives from as far back as the 1750`s on my side but the best thing is that its got family members talking and meeting up once or twice a year instead of just a birthday & christmas card, Its also a hobby you can share with your partner if your lucky like me, and my children are starting to show an interest ! Thank you for your thoughts, cheers derek,,...

Derek I can really relate to that. I have yet to visit a family grave but I know that when I have found a death entry for a young child or one of my favourites ( I know it's strange to have a favourite but some I feel I know more than others) have disappeared off the next census I do feel a sense of sadness and loss and I hope that they didn't suffer too much. In a more practical way, I sometimes find myself apologising to great great grandmothers for using frozen peas when I make the children's dinner or wondering what they would think because I don't often clean my front steps like they would have done!!!! I do agree also that it is a calling and I feel blessed (most of the time)that I am answering the call.

Derek , have a look at Genealogy Prayer -very apt too, Rosalyn

Marie, I know what you mean about having so called 'favourites'. I always think of my great grandfather as one of my favourites, and if I think about family history his is the first name I think of. I think this is because his was the first name I found that I had no knowledge of before I started. I know that sounds daft, but there it is!!! Kath. x

Lovely words Derek. Heres some more... Dear Ancestor Your tombstone stands among the rest Neglected and alone The name and date are chiselled out On polished marble stone It reaches out to all who care It is too late to mourn You did not know that I exist You died and I was born Yet each of us are cells of you In flesh and blood and bone Our blood contracts and beats a pulse Entirely not our own Dear Ancestor..the place you filled One hundred years ago Spreads out among the ones you left Who would have loved you so I wonder if you lived and loved I wonder if you knew That someday I would find this spot And come to visit you. Author Unknown Gerri x

Thank you Derek for sharing that with us, there are other people who feel the same way, I too have visited graves of ancestors who died many years ago and I hope that there legacy lives through us, for many years there stood a picture on the mantlepiece of my Gramp's mother and now we have been able to unravel her story. I often contemplate how my family would have lived and have often felt like crying too. Did anyone see 'Who do you think you are' when Jeremy Paxton cried when it was revealed how his Great Grandmother would have lived. My heart goes out to them xx

Hi, marie, do try and visit a family grave or place your ancestors lived, it is truly moving, rosalyn, saw ' genealogy prayer' enjoyed it very much and that`s what prompted me to post ' WHY' gerri, lovely poem and so true, i wish i could put my feelings so well, bev, only people like us who are doing the research can understand the power of those feelings. cheers derek,,...

Good on yer Tony - I couldn't see why the two occupations/hobbies of FH and gardening were mutually exclusive. I do both and get enormous satisfaction and stimulation from both activities. I've less than two years doing FH, but many years & a qualification in gardening/horticulture. Moved to Cyprus from UK, so the gardening is as challenging as the genealogy. I was moved by and will keep the words that opened this thread. Pam

hi, heather, been there and its a tremendous feeling, kathleen, somebody in the family will carry on the good work but i do`nt think they will find the same satisfaction as us, bev & kev, since i started i have an interest & thirst for knowledge of history that i never thought would be possible, and some of the things they had to put up with do tend to stop you moaning about our everyday life, rachel, i`ve been doing my tree for 18months now & have found that i talk to my aunties & uncles a lot more now & they are interested in my latest find, thanks to those who mailed me direct , all very interesting, cheers derek,,...

nudging for Clare :)

bumped up

This explains to a T how I felt from the start, driven, from day one felt my Paternal G Grandfather who not even my Dad met has stood at my right shoulder saying 'You go girl'. Any time I get a wall or fed up.....something else comes along to push me on....especially on this Paternal G Grandfathers family. Plus you don't get dirty or meet worms, you do gardening.

Hi All, Fantastic Thread. Sums up how I feel and I very definitely AM the family story teller. When I was at school I always got praise from the teachers for my compositions (as they were called then)! That was my training for this job! I have had a couple of articles published about my rellies and ancestors; so I can really identify with this thread. To add a spooky (but reassuring) note, I have always felt I am being encouraged and helped by those no longer here. Cheers, Horatia

This is a good thread. I know exactly how you all feel. Eighteen months ago I knew nothing about my gt.gt.grandparents only the fact that they came from Scotland. Last September I went to Scotland to find the small hamlet on the coast of Dumfries that I had traced them to. My husband thought I was mad and insisted that I wouldn't find anything. I found the Hamlet that hadn'y changed since the 1700's. I went to the village church that was built in 1200.A very kind lady opened it up for me and I stood inside the place where my ancestors had been christened, married and buried. I went into the church yard to see if I could find any grave stones and within minutes had found the one with their names on it. It looked like it had been laid recently as it was so clear. They had been Farmers and fishermen, and I couldn't believe it when we were driving down the lanes and saw a signpost for the name of the farm where they had all lived.We drove into the farm yard, nobody was home, and I stood there and cried like a baby. It was more like a large cottage than a farm and the date over the door was 1780. They had raised 8 children in what looked like 2 bedrooms. It backed onto the sea and there were boats in the outbuildings. I felt like part of me had come home. I couldn't believe the emotion I felt and how much connected to them I was. I will never forget this experience and on the days when I get frustrated and wish I had never started all this research I just think back to that day and it just makes it seem worthwhile. Marlene