Genealogy Chat

Trying to be helpful and answered someones trying to find.Having the same surname in my tree and the same sort of area i asked her if she knew who her grandfathers parents were.Had e-mail back to say she was sorry she did not know no more than this.I have now had a second automated e-mail asking to view my tree.How would my tree help her as she dont know anymore than grandad.I feel i dont want to open my tree as it will not serve a purpose.What should i do as i dont like to be rude. Annie

Hi Annie I was in the same boat as this peson but when I was contacted the other person asked a lot of question first to establish just what I did know and only when he was satified did he open his tree he new by then he was my cousin who I had never met. So I would say ask questions first you are not being rude just causius. Paul

Hi Annie, I would reply and decline politely to open your tree, explaining that it would be of no benefit to them as there is no link between you.

I completely AGREE, never open your tree to anyone unless you know there is a definate connection. If they need to know whether a person is in your tree all they have to do is send a message + ask you! They don't actually NEED to see your tree. You could reply to them + ask what information they need. Regards Ann

I would email back reiterating what she said to you before...i.e. that she was no further back than her grandfather, and ask her if she had any new information for his parents names. Dont open your tree though not until you have established that they is a link....even then I often email bits instead of opening my tree

Or may be any link. Im stuck on the fence on this one. If she hasnt got any further back, then where did she get his name from in the first place. Does he have brothers, sisters, a wife etc. that may tie into yours? You should ask these questions first and if there is a connection or you think there may be, then let her view. If she really doesn't have anything else, then maybe still let her see your tree, but let her know that if she think there is a connection, she should check up on all the info first, just to make sure. One of the main rules is never assume anything!

Jodie, its the persons grandfather...I think most of us know who our grandfathers are or atleast were

Willow the whisp Not so I didn't know anything of my Grandparents their names or where they came from until my cousin told me and his proof was my parents wedding photo. Paul Added note Thank god for cousins and Genes

I did say most

Ah, good point! Does she know grandma? If so, could she give you the info, or, you could advise her to trace their marriage certs and/or refer her to the newbie threads on here. Explain to her that if thats all she knows, then you dont want to give her access, just incase its not a connection and she thinks it is and gets lead a merry dance.(Put it nicer than that though!) :-) x

Don't open it I opened mine to a relation that was proved, as we could give the same names DOB's etc and both got excited as she lived in another country Great I hear you all saying.......................... but and this is a BIG BUT.................. she copied what she didn't have or so she said and now she has passed all this on to others who cannot prove and are mearly name hunters and now they have lving rellies of mine who are no connection to them at all How cheesed off am I??? I have just been through my contacts and removed everyone who had any access.......... even my own first cousin as I don't trust anyone anymore Just tell them the info that they need but don't open the tree if you have stuff on there you don't want going elsewhere Once bitten twice shy, they can take the dead but not the living, but if they want the dead then provide the proof

Point taken all I can say is proceed with causion and ask questions if they are genuine they won't mind. Paul

Maddies mate, reguarding living rellies, you can always censor them. You can hide all living relatives names and anyone born in the last 120 years that you dont have a death date for. I think you do it in 'my account'. I know that doesn't make up for it, but just thought id mention it incase you didn't know. xx

Don't do it unless they can provide some genuine connection to your family. My daughter opened up her tree to somebody who is vaguely related to my F-i- Law's ancestors . The next thing my daughter found that this person had copied all of MY family's relatives and ancestors....Why? My relatives are in no way related to my F-i-Law's ancestors, only me, by marriage. This person certainly doesn' tknow anything at all about my family. My daughter asked the said person to remove all of my families details which they did...but it beggars belief sometimes!

I only keep a fraction of my tree on here, and that only shows names, years of events and towns, no exact dates or places. I can safely open my tree without giving away any crucial information, but it gives the other person enough to follow through with some research for themselves, or to know if we really are likely to have a link. Once a link is proven I correspond directly, and can then give them as much information relating to their connection as I choose. Jennifer

I'm new to this site, what is the problem with people looking at your tree. Every time I ask someone a question that might help me I show them my tree so they can see if there is a link.IS THIS THE WRONG THING TO DO AND WHY?

Opening your tree on here opens everything you have! This site doesn't allow you to select the info you want to pass on............As far as I am concerned one of this sites biggest failings!...............So it's all or nothing. Chris

Paul You do not need to open your tree to find a link with someone else. I personally cannot be bothered to trawl other people's trees - if they don't know where the connection is, how will I? If you open your tree then that person can copy it and do whatever they want with it. This may not matter to you at the moment, because, as you have said, you are a newbie, and have more to gain than you have to lose. No one - except your twin brother, lol, has exactly the same ancestors as you do, so why would they want, or need, information about them? There are name collectors out there, who grab anything and hang it on their own tree, right or wrong, just because the name is the same. Again, this may not bother you at the moment, but believe me, once you have invested time and money in this hobby, you will be very annoyed to see YOUR great grandparents sitting wrongly on someone else's tree. OC

If someone is connected to my Dad's Grandad's brother....... Why would they want/need to know about my Mum's line? I wouldn't dream to ask about their Mum's line when I am only intersted in Dad's line :)))

nudged for Paul