General Chat

well yes I could do with some surgery too! But will have to make do with a shower some slap and some smelly perfume!

Didn't sleep very well. Have big bags under my eyes, my hair is all over the place and have head ache.

A shower will sort me out.

Catch you later Foggy and thanks for the laughs
Have a good one


Morning Carole
Grab yourself a coffee
Look at this way
Things can only get better
can't they?
xx

MO have you banned me, Oh well I had better go and do my duty with the shopping.
See you all later.
You all have a great day today
Bye.

Dave XX

morning how are you all today?
I feel like c...! Look like it too lol
Carole x

Good one Foggy
pmslmao
xx

Two friends meet in the office of one of them, a techno geek.
"hi mate how are you.?"
"I am good thanks, that secretary of your is stunning"
"I'm glad you like her, shes a robot."
"No way, how could she be.?"
"She's the very latest model from japan, let me tell you how she works, If you squeeze her left breast, she takes dictation, if you squeeze her right breast, she types your letters, AND that's not all, she can have sex, too" !!!

"Your kidding man."

"No shes something huh.? tell you what, you can even borrow her"
So his friend takes her into the toilets and is in there for a while when suddenly, he hears him screaming "Eeeeyaaa, Help, Oooooooh."

The guy says




" bugger I forgot to tell him her a**e is a pencil sharpener" !!!

That's the last one I think Mo
tee hee

Hands over cyber clean and
fresh coffee
xx

There’s a guy fishing off the breakwater one day and he gets this mighty tug on the end of his line. He sets the hook, and starts to reel the fish in. After 20 minutes or so the fish is exhausted and he gets landed on the rocks next to the fisherman. As he bends down to get the hook out of the fish’s mouth (a very nice 20lb salmon) the fish says,

‘’G’Day mate, how’s it going’’

The fisherman is gob-smacked.

‘Geez, a talking fish, I don’t believe it’ he said.

‘Oh don’t worry there’s loads of us down there. By the way the name is Rusty, what’s yours?

‘Well, my names Bob’ And they have a bit of a chin wag for a minute or so. ‘Look I can’t keep you’ said Bob and he puts Rusty gently back into the water and off he swims with a final wave of his pectoral fin and a flash of his tail he disappears below the ocean waves.


Well about 12 months later Bob is fishing off the same breakwater and gets an almighty tug on his line and guess what? As he reels the fish in and it’s about 10 yards out, the fish’s head breaks the surface and it’s his old mate Rusty.

‘Bob’ he shouts. How the heck are ya?

‘Rusty’!!!. ‘Well I’ll be blowed. Where have you been? Said Bob.

‘Well as a matter of fact, I’ve just returned from a trip to the North Atlantic and visited the Titanic. It is laying on the seabed, cold and dark. I swam inside the great ballroom and the original crystal chandeliers are still in place. The brass band instruments have a little silt on them, but otherwise everything is in pristine condition. Even the beautifully carved mahogany spiral staircase is there with the original Axminster carpet’ said Rusty……’’ I was so moved by the whole experience I have written a book of short poems

‘’Wow that’s amazing’’ said Bob. ‘’What is it called I’ll look out for it in the bookshops?’’



Wait for it!








Its coming!













"THE TITANIC VERSES OF SALMON RUSTY".

usual apologies no offence intended
xx

Just read an article on the dangers of drinking....

Scared the s**t out of me.

So that's it!

After today, no more reading.
xx

pmslmfao Foggy
xx

Not again Mo!
Have to get you a wipe clean keyboard
They must make one lol
Pleased it made you all laugh
xx

Two very nervous men were talking in the doctors waiting room.
they discovered they had similar symptoms: one had a red ring round the base of his penis and the other had a green ring round the base of his.
The fellow with the red ring went in first and after a minute came out smiling , and said don't worry, man, its nothing.

vastly relieved the second man went into the surgery, only to be told by the doctor.
"I'm sorry, but you'll have to be castrated"
Turning with, the young man gasped, "But the first man...said it was no problem"

"Well, you know", said the doctor, "here is a big difference between gangrene and lipstick."

Thanks Mo you to, just going to change bloomers after reading Clues verse xx

oooppppssss June
Was it the shock made you click lol
xx

Clue just seenyour verse!! accidently clicked
Request review PMSL

Hope you enjoy your day June
see you later then?
xx

Here you go Mo

Biscuits are on the plate

Bit risque that one do you think?
Maybe I should edit it lol
xx

HI MO,xx
Sorry Clue cant stay for coffee daughter & family coming today
Take care xxxx

CLU, I am shocked at that......LOL
Nice one PMSL