General Chat

So you don`t believe in living together at all before marriage, like my partner and I are doing??? At least this way I know all his bad habits and we know we CAN live together!! I`d rather do it this way, than get married and live together, then find out his habits annoy me! xxxx

Well said, Wendy !

I'm old fashioned and don't believe in living together,it's marriage or nothing.My sons are being taught thet it's important to find the right person and then get married and that living together is not an option. Wendy

I guess we have done things 'the wrong way round' but it works for us. We lived together first, then found out I was expecting, Chris proposed(but not because of Kian lol), we will be getting married next year but will just have close friends and family there. Don`t believe in spending loads of money, ie £16,000 +(which they say the average wedding costs now). We are getting married in a church and having a reception in a hotel but it`ll be very intimate! xxxx

Lived together for 4 years and then 6 weeks ago decided to get married We were married on Saturday at the reg office and we had a fantastic day Jan PS it is a 2nd marriage for both of us

I live with my partner and love every minute of it! If we did decide to get married it would be a low key event.....just the three of us (my son as well) on a beach somewhere hot and romantic! Dont want all the fuss of a big church do especially as we have been together 3 years! Bev

I 'lived with' my present husband for a year before we married because I wanted to be sure exactly 'who' he was and 'where we were going', also because he is several years my junior, and I was somewhat sceptical about the implications of that. We have now been together for 30 years and married for 29. My first husband and I were together for four years before we married and lived together. I was under the impression that that was sufficient time to know what to expect. How wrong can you be? CB >|<

If people choose to co-habit that's their business. But I don't really go with the new order of things - 1) live together, 2) have children, 3) get engaged, 4) lavish wedding, 5) expensive honeymoon. Just seems a bit topsy turvey to me !

Hi, I don't think I'd have dared not get married my parents would have been devastated. They are/were both committed Christians. If it hasn't worked out I don't think I would have got married again. I very much doubt that my son and his partner will marry but I've told him that he has got to be the one to tell my Dad they are going to 'live in sin' Gwynne

See I think we`re lucky there. Chris gets along great with my mum and dad(they are separated though) and his mum and dad are great.Think I get on with his mum so much as she just had 2 boys

I don't want to be related to his mother.

I think marriage is a wonderful commitment, can`t wait to be Mrs Harris...as corny as that may sound!!

If you are going to commit - then commit with marriage. Think of others who in future years are going to have terrible trouble researching their anscestors! No christenings and no marriages! Ann

I agree with you Kerry - like Sheila, having met 'the one' I sort of see marriage as an ultimate commitment but I think it can work for some people living together just as well. I'm in a same sex relationship so it's not an option for me at this time:)

Been living together for five years. We are getting married in four weeks on Friday. Never thought that I would want to (must be getting older- 40). Not quite sure as to way, maybe just thought that it was right and that I love her.

Definatly marriage, although, my opinion is that all couples should live together before marriage. We lived together for 3 years and got married aged 20

Good Thread David, Chris and I live together and will be getting married next year! We`re marrying each other as we love each other, symbol of our love for one another,security for Kian.Not good reasons you may think but they are to me!!! Plus we`ve been living together for nearly 2 years now, and only got engaged last year, I know all his habits etc and am happy with the situation.It`s a wonderful commitment and I can`t wait to stand up infront of all our friends and family and say how much I love him!

Dorothy - I kept my maiden name!

I suppose we're a bit old-fashioned like that, David. We'd known eachother since 1978 (started dating in 1995, well after both our 1st marriages broke up) as colleagues, and we do like the security of marriage. I know un-married couples probably feel just as secure and committed, but we prefer marriage. Is it our ages? (Bob's 53 and I'm 48) I don't know. Some people have said that they prefer their independence by not marrying; Bob and I are both independent to an extent, and I don't feel as if I'm just 'Mrs Bob'; I'm me, too. This is a good thread; I think it's interesting hearing - sorry, reading - other peoples' views. Next! ............

I think perhaps it is a good idea of living together as that way you certainly get to know the real 'man' or 'woman' in your life. It's not always a pretty made up face what you wake up to in the morning! And what about when they are really ill and you have to do everything for them, wash them, dress them. I've been married for nearly 50 years now, but this doesn't stop me thinking how nice it is to have a choice these days. My mother would have had a heart attack if we'd suggested even sleeping together. My granddaughter has even bought a double bed - and she's still at school!