General Chat

I don't want to be related to his mother.

See I think we`re lucky there. Chris gets along great with my mum and dad(they are separated though) and his mum and dad are great.Think I get on with his mum so much as she just had 2 boys

Hi, I don't think I'd have dared not get married my parents would have been devastated. They are/were both committed Christians. If it hasn't worked out I don't think I would have got married again. I very much doubt that my son and his partner will marry but I've told him that he has got to be the one to tell my Dad they are going to 'live in sin' Gwynne

If people choose to co-habit that's their business. But I don't really go with the new order of things - 1) live together, 2) have children, 3) get engaged, 4) lavish wedding, 5) expensive honeymoon. Just seems a bit topsy turvey to me !

I 'lived with' my present husband for a year before we married because I wanted to be sure exactly 'who' he was and 'where we were going', also because he is several years my junior, and I was somewhat sceptical about the implications of that. We have now been together for 30 years and married for 29. My first husband and I were together for four years before we married and lived together. I was under the impression that that was sufficient time to know what to expect. How wrong can you be? CB >|<

I live with my partner and love every minute of it! If we did decide to get married it would be a low key event.....just the three of us (my son as well) on a beach somewhere hot and romantic! Dont want all the fuss of a big church do especially as we have been together 3 years! Bev

Lived together for 4 years and then 6 weeks ago decided to get married We were married on Saturday at the reg office and we had a fantastic day Jan PS it is a 2nd marriage for both of us

I guess we have done things 'the wrong way round' but it works for us. We lived together first, then found out I was expecting, Chris proposed(but not because of Kian lol), we will be getting married next year but will just have close friends and family there. Don`t believe in spending loads of money, ie £16,000 +(which they say the average wedding costs now). We are getting married in a church and having a reception in a hotel but it`ll be very intimate! xxxx

I'm old fashioned and don't believe in living together,it's marriage or nothing.My sons are being taught thet it's important to find the right person and then get married and that living together is not an option. Wendy

Well said, Wendy !

So you don`t believe in living together at all before marriage, like my partner and I are doing??? At least this way I know all his bad habits and we know we CAN live together!! I`d rather do it this way, than get married and live together, then find out his habits annoy me! xxxx

I think it's a lovely idea to be able to get married and then live together, and then think of starting a family etc. But, after the obvious fact of if you marry before you've lived together, how on earth do you really know who you're marrying. You can't. If you're not with someone 24/7 you don't see the person as a whole. You're only experiencing snipets of them when they take you out etc. Secondly, how is a young couple expected to pay for a wedding and then shell out for even the smallest deposit on their marital home. I think that's probably one of biggest reasons people live together first. They can afford to buy a house, start making it into a home and then think about saving for the wedding.

Just like to add my thoughts. I have been living with my partner now for 12 years. We have both been married before ( previous Spouse's )and are both over 50 years of age. We have talked about marriage whils't living to-gether during this time, but the stigma that marriage once held is not there anymore, because we both know that love is more than 'stars' and 'dreams', it is commitment, and you dont know this until you practice the good times, the bad times, and the hard times. When your young you fall in love, get engaged, get married, buy a home, and have children if possible. ( Normal young peoples routine.) Fall in love: How do you fall in love?? Is love a great looking guy or girl. Is love a blonde on the beach, or a bloke with a six pack. Is love saying, i love you. ( easy to say i love you, lets get married and live happily ever after ) Love has multiple meanings to me. When my first wife died, i was wiping her backside, as she could not control herself. ( cancer.) 6 years of it. Thats when i learnt the word LOVE = COMMITMENT = LOVE.) My attitude had changed. Before you buy a car,you normally take it for a test run, and if you like it, you make a commitment to buy it. You polish it, you wash it, you vacumm it, and you take care of it, and it lasts a long time if your lucky. We will marry later this year, because we are committed to each other after practising for a while. My thoughts only. Tony Oz.

Not being a Christian, for a long time I didn't see the purpose of marriage, we didn't need to validate my relationship 'in the eyes of God', and we didn't see how a piece of paper would make our relationship stronger. My partner and I lived together for several years, quite happily, and didn't feel the need to marry. However, when we decided to try for a child, we decided to get married, as we felt it was the 'right thing to do'. Thats the only reason though. We were quite happy as we were, when it was just the two of us. As far as I'm concerned, it's personal choice - marry if you wish, if you don't want to, then don't. oh and before anyone asks - yes, I'm a bit of a hypocrite, as we had a church wedding (because my wife wanted to and, as aeveryone knows, its the bride's day really). Paul

Anthony I couldn,t agree more. I have been living with my partner for 17yrs. I am 60 this year, and we are getting married in May. Why? comittment.

Im not allowed to marry my partner so the question's immaterial

Sheila, why aren`t you allowed to marry your partner?

Kerry, because my partner is a she too

Hi, I lived with my first husband for 3 years before getting married to him. as soon as he had the ring on my finger he was the most over controling violent person i have ever known. the reason i married him was because we had a daughter and i was told by my nan that she would never forgive me if i brought my child up out of wedlock 'like my mother'. we ended up divorcing. i then met my new husband in 2001 and lived together until we married last year, and he is the complete opposite hes kind loving and great with my two kids from my first marriage. in fact hes perfect. so although its romantic to save everything until your married and not live in sin, i dont believe that you see the full side of someone till there is that ring signifying that you are joined AS ONE. but thats my oppinion corrina xx

My parents still aren't married, mainly because they would like a nice big wedding but don't have the money, or when they try and save a family holiday seems a better idea or something. They have lived together for 16 years and had 3 children in that time. Just thought i'd throw my story in the pot.