General Chat

Do you think marriage is still relevant today or is living together just as good? Why have you married instead of living together or visa versa? Do those living together like the idea of getting married eventually and why?

you did not live together when i got married my mum would have done her nut, nowadays my son lived with his wife for two years before getting married changed days indeed

Blimey David, that's strange: I was only talking about it with my family today. One of my brothers is married, the other living with his partner. Bob and I lived together briefly before getting married, and I was saying today that I prefer being married. That's nothing against people living together, just our choice. Glenys x

If people wish to cohabit, that's fine by me ... but, if they are totally and utterly committed to one another, then why not show that commitment by being married? I am married. :-) Joy

David I'm probably going to be shot down in flames for this but....... I try to keep up with the times in most things and I don't think anyone should feel compelled to marry. However, I do find it difficult to get enthusiastic about going to a church wedding, when the couples three children are acting as bridesmaids and ushers :)) Chrissie

David Do what ever you like, but look after the children if you are mature enough. Yea ? Keith

Can you say why you prefer it Glenys - does it feel more secure or more 'right' to you? I actually agree Chrissie lol - I don't understand why non- religious people want to get married in church - is it cos its prettier? I've actually been cohabiting far longer than I was married

I would like to live with my partner for a while and then maybe marry. I would love to get married but intend to do it once (unlike my parents!) and therefore want to be sure that it's right. We shall see... becx

we never saw the need to get married.... we'd been together for 9 yrs and had 3 boys, plus a daughter from my previous marriage. When one night whilst watching tv ( before pc LOL) we suddenly decided to do it!!!!!!get married that is !!!! it was arranged quickly, we decided Febuary 9th and we was married by 15 March 2002. Once we decided we didn't hang around. We married in reg office. Must admit although we still have a rollercoaster relationship, it has been better most of the time since we married.

Keith I haven't got any kids so I wasn't thinking of that really:)

Good question David! I'd always thought I would cohabit - marriage didn't appeal and I've never wanted children. However when my husband and I were going out, I realised that he was 'the one' and that I actually wanted to get married! I was 35 when we tied the knot, he's 13 years older and has 2 previous marriages.

I think perhaps it is a good idea of living together as that way you certainly get to know the real 'man' or 'woman' in your life. It's not always a pretty made up face what you wake up to in the morning! And what about when they are really ill and you have to do everything for them, wash them, dress them. I've been married for nearly 50 years now, but this doesn't stop me thinking how nice it is to have a choice these days. My mother would have had a heart attack if we'd suggested even sleeping together. My granddaughter has even bought a double bed - and she's still at school!

I suppose we're a bit old-fashioned like that, David. We'd known eachother since 1978 (started dating in 1995, well after both our 1st marriages broke up) as colleagues, and we do like the security of marriage. I know un-married couples probably feel just as secure and committed, but we prefer marriage. Is it our ages? (Bob's 53 and I'm 48) I don't know. Some people have said that they prefer their independence by not marrying; Bob and I are both independent to an extent, and I don't feel as if I'm just 'Mrs Bob'; I'm me, too. This is a good thread; I think it's interesting hearing - sorry, reading - other peoples' views. Next! ............

Dorothy - I kept my maiden name!

Good Thread David, Chris and I live together and will be getting married next year! We`re marrying each other as we love each other, symbol of our love for one another,security for Kian.Not good reasons you may think but they are to me!!! Plus we`ve been living together for nearly 2 years now, and only got engaged last year, I know all his habits etc and am happy with the situation.It`s a wonderful commitment and I can`t wait to stand up infront of all our friends and family and say how much I love him!

Definatly marriage, although, my opinion is that all couples should live together before marriage. We lived together for 3 years and got married aged 20

Been living together for five years. We are getting married in four weeks on Friday. Never thought that I would want to (must be getting older- 40). Not quite sure as to way, maybe just thought that it was right and that I love her.

I agree with you Kerry - like Sheila, having met 'the one' I sort of see marriage as an ultimate commitment but I think it can work for some people living together just as well. I'm in a same sex relationship so it's not an option for me at this time:)

If you are going to commit - then commit with marriage. Think of others who in future years are going to have terrible trouble researching their anscestors! No christenings and no marriages! Ann

I think marriage is a wonderful commitment, can`t wait to be Mrs Harris...as corny as that may sound!!