General Chat

TC, Good luck for your mission tomorrow! All the best, Jane x

My (very wise) father has told me on a number of occasions that you can't deal with unreasonable people by being reasonable - and he is absolutely right as I have learned to my cost. It isn't really anything to do with your level of 'niceness' and honestly, in the end, what does it matter what he thinks of you, it's not as if he has given any sign of caring a jot what you think! Really, do what you have to do to protect yourself and your health and use whatever means are available to you. Sometimes you just have to fight fire with fire and make the best of any ashes that are left. You've been given some very good advice on this site from some very knowledgeable people. All you need now is the courage to take it. With very best wishes to you and your husband. xoxoxo

Yes, decided to go tomorrow and sort it. Trouble is, knowing our luck, they will say, oh no that will be fine! Thing is these people honestly dont seem to realise they are doing anything wrong, do they. I mean when they came to view the property, did they walk round thinking, oh yes, we can cut down the neighbours trees and then we will remove their bike shed ..........it beggars belief doesnt it. I mean when you buy a place you respect everyones privacy and property not ignore that and blunder on.

I agree phone asap, if he shouldn't be doing it they can enforce it. Somone I know had a problem with neighbour wanted to put a gate in their fence to acces their garden through her property path. She thought at first they were just doing up the garden so didn't make any fuss when they trailed mixers, wheelbarrows, fencing etc through...being a nice considerate neighbour. Then they turned nasty as were found out about gate cost my relative some in solicitors fees and was more difficult as had left it and allowed acess to start the job. Goodluck.

Phone the Planning Dept and ask to speak to the enforcement officer and I am sure he will come out and take a look and give you advice brenda

Yes I am coming round to the idea to fight this pig we have to be pigs too. But it is so hard when you arent one! Ive just been talking to my sis on phone. She says 'do this, do that' and I said to her, that is just what I would say to anyone else but when you are actually in this situation, the obvious and right things dont seem to work. You go to solicitor and although you have EVERYTHING to prove you are in the right they um and er, same with planning, same with courts. Its just not right will win through - it really isnt. Well, all these traveller sites have proved that havent they. No leg to stand on, where have they got the hundreds of thousands to buy the land? How come they dont have car tax or insurance but dont get done? And when they are told to go, they dont. Its maddening, it really is. At the beginning of all this, I thought, one letter pointing out the facts and it will be over. No way.

My Aunt had a very similar problem with a new neighbour soon after he moved in. She lived in a very small, close knit village and was used to leaving the door open. She was in the bath one day and the dog was going mad, the neighbour had let himself in and was walking upstairs to have a go at her for complaining about him removing her fence and replacing it 18' on her side of the boundary. She ended up scaring him off with her late husbands shot gun (it wasn't loaded be he wasn't sure!!) She just let him think she was a 'mental old bat' and out of control. At what piont was this 'person' reasonable toward you and earn any right for you to be reasonable in return? If you actually proceed with court action against him ( and I should think that you have grounds for this on several counts ) He would be forced to take heed of legal advice and pay costs most likely. In spite of the fact that you have already spoken to the planning dept about some of the issues it might be an idea to write EVERYTHING in a letter and give it to the planning committee. Ask them if they can put his building on hold until it has been put before a planning comittee meeting. Suggest that he needs better guidelines as it appears that he doesn't have a grasp of laws and regulations that govern building. Think its time for the gloves to come off TC!!!!!!!!!!!! Mandy :-)

Exactly Jane, we had been very close to our old neighbour, I had virtually looked after her the last couple of years. When we knew new people had bought the place we thought they would be 'nice' everyone else along here is and we all get on well, lending tools and stuff and giving lifts. Yes, if he had been sane, hubby would happily have lent him scaffolding and cement mixers and stuff, just as we do the rest of the road. He is a pig, so he thinks like a pig and imagines bullying will get him anywhere.

Pacific Heights was a film where Michael Keaton rented a room in a house and did loads of alterations without permission in trying to force owners out, but dont worry he got his comeuppence they ended up killing him lol! Davex

TC, Have you tried Citizens' Advice Bureau for any avenues that might be open to you? They should have a broad view of ALL options - and they must have seen this situation a thousand times. You might also find that, if it comes to litigation, you might be entitled to Legal Aid - they seem to be reforming how this system works, so it might be worth looking at now and again. Stupid, stupid, stupid man! If he'd have talked to you properly about his plans and his needs, things could have been so different - for him, as well as you! Who knows, you might even have offered 'space' temporarily so's he could get his digger in. But then again, that's why there's a problem - because it didn't occur to him and he's not that kind of person. Go for the jugular, TC! Regs Jane

Hi, dont know that film - how did it end? Ive just rung small claims court asking whether we should claim for replacement of the hedge after having paid for it or before. Todl 'Cant advise you on that, it is a legal question'. I said, no surely a procedural one. Cant advise you. Terrific isnt it. Everything you try to sort out. If we replace the hedge is he going to hack it down again? At the moment we cant even sit out in our garden with this big gap for dread of seeing his grinning face and anyway, the noise is so bad now. So, dont look like we can save money that way, by doing it ourself and getting the money first before we replace. I can half believe that if we do grass on him, that we will be told, oh, that will be ok. Nothing to do with us, its a civil matter. Honestly, isnt the law an ass?

Gosh your Neighbour sounds like Carter the part Micheal Keaton played in Pacific Heights. Dx

TC, You are obviously a nice person, but this man is a bully, and bullies have to be stood up to, otherwise as Shelli says - he will walk all over you. Try to stay strong and face up to him. Kathy

It is making us ill. As some of you also know, I lost my little Lucy aswell and my dad is very frail now and all in all I feel absolutely out of control of my life. Hubby is dreadfully low, has taken several days off (luckily he is self employed) but is unable to sleep and the first words out of his mouth in the morning are to do with all this.

TC, Just to make an official record ... I've mailed you privately about the Party Wall Act which applies to ground between properties as well as 'walls'. Good luck, Jane

TC Have been following this for a while... and i think i've got to agree with someone else if this is making you ill then fight.. otherwise he'll keep walking all over you You stated he would have no problem dropping you in it if he felt you was in the wrong, so live by his rules.

Yes Karen, its been a real eye opener for us. It seems the bad guy is always in the right. Well, look at all the travellers camps etc. It is just incredible that you live peacefully, law abiding lives yet when push comes to shove you have no support at all.

We applied to the Land Registry, they said it cant be done, they can only be accurate over much larger areas. So thats that. And the thing is, after 10 years of ownership, we would have possessory title anyway, even if we didnt have legal title (which we do have!). We are not people who like confrontation. Our neighbours the otherside of nfh will have the new conservatory their children/grandchildren put up for them totally blocked by the intended 'games room' their side. But they are in their eighties and obviously not up to all this aggro. However, as you say, can it get worse? The man is hateful and Ive no doubt he would drop us in it whenever he could. Its just it does go against the grain, doesnt it. Even my son who visited us a couple of months ago came in really up tight and asked 'Just who is that madman driving down the centre of the road - he nearly killed me'. This is the type of person he is - he wants, he takes. To think I posted a welcome card through the door when it was first sold - never received a response or thank you.

Ring the Planning Dept today,TC, and make sure someone from there takes notice, once the extension is up it will take a lifetime to put it right + all the damage it may cause now. Heather

TC, If he wants a straight line boundary, then let him make an Application to the Land Registry to Determine the Exact Line of a Boundary. You will also be consulted by the LR and have to be in agreement with the boundary line. I doubt whether old Deep Pockets will spend that amount of money though, and you just cannot afford to. Personally, I would contact the Planning Department and ask for their Inspector to pay a visit to the site. If you want to 'live and let live' it is up to you but if this is making you and your husband ill, then I would take no prisoners and go for the kill which would probably mean all out warfare! It can't get any worse. However the decision is entirely yours to make and everyone else can only say what they would do. Good luck, Kathyx