General Chat

I'd certainly agree about updating an existing Will when circumstances change.

Last year, BM was put in an unfortunate position when he was asked to witness a Will. His friend's father was dying. The father had previously made a Will leaving his Estate in equal portions to his wife and 2 sons....assuming he would live to a ripe old age.

Instead, he was struck down with an aggressive illness and left it too late to organise his affairs. BM had to sit by his hospital bedside for several days with the other witness and the family hoping he would become alert enough to sign the new Will. Sadly, the Father never regained enough strength before he passed away to hold the pen.

Sorry if this distresses anyone, but it only goes to illustrate that Wills do need to be revised and not left too late.

Greenfingers~~~~

No need to say sorry , but thanks anyway.

Whilst dad did make specific requests in his will, I would want to too .
Treasured items...Strangely I inherited them tho dad hadn't specified them in his will,( some were my maternal grandparent's ) cos sister and I never had a crossed word.
In fact when dad died my sister, who is older than my made a point of saying to anyone that asked for a memento ' You will have to ask Sand '

But that's trust in your family..which I have,

I don't have any items of huge value but would like my dau to have my jewellery (gold not bling..don't have any )

Sandie.

Must sort a will out anyway !

I am leaving all my money to my cat,
with the condition that my nieces look after the cat
for the whole of it's long and healthy life,
then they will inherit my fortune.


xxxx mick

Lol Mick~~~

Trust you to put a a bit of humour into an otherwise serious thread:))

You always lighten a subject up:))

No offence intended or received ,I hope.


Sandie.x

Will delete if the post offends anyone.
You may notice I have previously added to this thread..

Sandie - it is impossible to offend me, and believe me
many people on here have tried! lol


xxxx mick

Cheers Mick:))

Just as important as your will is to make sure than decisions can be made on your behalf in case that illness or accident doesn't kill you but leaves you in a position where you can't make decisions for yoursel.....and don't make it just one person should you be the only one left in the marriage. Also don't think your children won't argue over what should and shouldn't be done because even the closest of families will disagree so make your wishes known.

Sue

In England, this is now called a Lasting Power of Attorney, which has replaced an Enduring Power of Attorney. The EOP, if drawn up, is still legal.

You can also do a Living Will which states what type of medical treatment to give in case of serious incapacity eg stroke or injury which leaves you unable to communicate and likely to leave you in an (almost) vegetive state. A Do Not Resusitate (DNR) only applies to heartattacks or if you stop breathing. Anything else, so I am led to believe, they have to treat. Having said that, I am sure we have all heard, or been involved, of relatives and medicals agreeing that the person should be kept comfortable and allowed to slip away.

Not sure if I am ready to make decisions about a Living Will just yet. Possibly one concern is that medical advances in the future could improve chances of a useful survival which might otherwise be ruled out.

DET - I did suggest in an earlier posting re Power of Attorney, we did this 3/4 years ago when we remade our wills. However, re Living Will, some years ago I began to ask about this, solicitor, said - go to your GP, GP when approached said contact your solicitor and both in the end said they knew very little about it!

There have been queries raised in press etc as to the legalities of a Living Will and suggestions that a Power of Attorney should suffice although to me they are two completely different issues. When my mother (in her nineties) was unconsious some 6 years ago in hospital, the Sister rang me and said my brother had given instructions to DNR and wanted to know what I thought. I told her I agreed as I knew our mother would want that.

Sorry Chris, I must have missed that. I was responding to SueMaid. We updated our Wills 3 years ago and the advisor started to talk about Living Wills and was met with a deep silence and swiftly moved on! We haven't followed it up, although realistically we ought to.

It is so difficult. Just taking 2 instances in the family. Father said he didn't want to suffer a mental decline/dementia, or be locked in an unresponsive body, then later changed his mind and said he didn't want to die.
Someone else (with serious health problems) was royally Peed off when she regained consciousness after 2 serious strokes and wished they 'hadn't bothered'. She was being treated for pneumonia as well but when she lapsed into unconsciousness again, she was allowed to slip away.

Um - talk to a solicitor?? Sounds very complicated and the children need to come to an agreement. Perhaps they can sign a contract? But they need to agree first!!!

Do you think it would be possible to add something to the Deeds of the house regarding the graves and access...or decide now exactly where you want to be buried and chop off the plot and access route from the Deeds for when the house is eventually sold. Obviously, the children can't agree at the moment, but it will happen sometime in the distant future.

Amokavid-Perhaps you ought to see if you can go on the next program.lol.

I am absolutely riveted to everyone's attitude, even Sir Gerry Robinson's. In my own family my father left the house which just happened to be in his name to my eldest brother but allowing my mother to remain there......don't know what would have happened if she had remarried.Caused a lot of hassle when my father died as another brother said it should have been shared between us children.The real problem started when the house needed maintenance as the brother who was going inherit was bone idle, tight and passive. My mother didn't want to spend money on the property knowing that her money was leaving our inheritance to benefit the eldest brother. The result was that her home became less and less homely. After the funeral of my mum twenty years after my fathers, the brother inheriting the house took everything that was going. Our paths didn't cross for another 25 years until we went to another funeral a short time ago. We chatted and now he says how he would have done things differently if he had only known. The only person I have any feelings for was my poor mum who wanted to be fair to all of us. Even with a will there can be problems but it is better than not having one at all.

Just going back to Friday's program I think the best decision that was made was designating the man's Gallantry Medal to a particular daughter. When the money is sorted it is the little things which cause the most niggles. A list can be made without adding it to the will then at least everyone knows who has what..........get it done now.......lol....-jle

Thats quite a good idea and as I don't do dusting much it would be like a job completed! lol -jle

I think I said earlier that my Mum didn't make a will. Waht she did do was to leave a list of things with who was to have what with her jewellery and a coupple of ornaments. We all obeyed the list with not problems except she had left me her engagement ring and my sister her wedding ring and we agreed to swop.

Maternal grandfather didn't make a will and his 4 surviving children had no disagreement over anything.

Paternal nan did as she fell out with her son in law who lived in her house,she later moved to our house ,next door (she owned the 2 properties).

She allowed her dau to live there for her lifetime and then bestowed it to her 3 grandchildren on her death. Aunt died before my uncle, but my sister and I agreed it would be ungodliness to put him out on the streets, so let him live his life out there.
Dad's house and other unspecified chattels were left to him. He made a will.
He knew my sister and I wouldn't have any arguments, but had specific requests to friends and mums family of which we were unaware.

I know my 2 offspring won't have disagreements,, but I would like some of my treasured possessions go to specified peeps.. mine would probably bin them .lol
Ornaments ..sort of things, which I don't buy myself ..!!! but have been handed down to me and treasured.
...Note for my diary...Make a will !!

I haven't made a will, but have been thinking about it over the past couple of years and this thread has made me think about it more.

My husband, absolutely refuses to make one saying that if he went first, everything would be left to me. We have joint ownership of our home and his father's old house. His father's house was left by his dad to him and his sister and we took out a joint mortgage to buy her half as she didn't want it. We rent it out to cover the mortgage in the hope it will give us an income when we retire. (we are a few years off that yet!).

I, on the other hand, am concerned about if we go together. I know my three daughters will argue about things and we have always treated them equally. This would be easy to solve, if I (and if poss) my husband made wills.

My biggest dilema is all the hard work I have done doing my family tree. I have spent a fortune on getting copies of certificates and parish records and I am nowhere near finished yet! My girls are not interested in my "hobby" and I really would like it all to be kept for future generations/descendants. But what should I do with my computer programme and files of paperwork? Who do I leave them to?

One thing I do know, is I would be very disapointed if I thought it would all be thrown away. Any ideas anyone?

Having girls, I have to decide who will have my wedding rings (one is my mother's wedding ring which I asked my dad if I could have on the death of my own mum). I don't have anything of any value really, just my little 2002 Peugeot 206CC, so couldn't think of anything any of them might want. Perhaps it is a good idea to chat to them about it - when I decide to get on with making a will, that is.

Any suggestions as to what other people have put into their wills would be most useful to give me ideas of things I might have but can't think of.

Thanks
Dee

Hi There
Hubby and me made wills last year, I thought it would be fairly straightforward but turned out to be much more compilcated due to hubbies bussiness etc so I was glad we saw a solicitor to sort it all out. Worth it!

What I wanted to say was apart from property and cash our solicitor told us more and more people are mentioning family tree's in their wills almost as much jewellery and personel items!!

Some like it to be donated to their local history group, or specific relatives. I must admit I have loads of copy certs, old wills, maps and the like and my kids aren't interested either!! Would hate for it to be binned!!

Tina

Dee - what about donating your tree to the county Records Office or the county family history society - then it will be available to those who are interested.

We made a will in 1988, after OH's brother died, then only child came along in 1992!

He was about 4 when I checked out the will.....He would have got nothing because of the way it was worded!

I was so thankful I was temping in a solicitors at the time and mentioned we had a will and they checked it for us.

Kim x

Edit.. My Mum wanted her half of everything left to my son, she died before my step father and left him everything thinking he would do the right thing, YEP he left our son £200 so we couldn't contest the will (as that is the minimum) so the house that my mum & I scrapped for went to his sons all £325k of it!!! lesson learnt :((

My point exactly, Kim!
It's easy to think your other half, or family members, will 'do the right thing'... but the only way to ensure the right thing IS done, and done exactly the way YOU want, is to make that Will.

K