General Chat

Chris, How very true,its amazing how many come out of the woodwork to try and claim things, sometimes not even related,I,ve seen it so many times,even on the same day as the Funeral .**M**.

Mummo I feel for you and your family and I agree this is a good thread,
even to talk things over. My OH was the same as your brother didn't want
to speak about it so was left to me to say I was wanting it all seen to. Once
he got his head round the idea it wasn't so bad and now says it was the right thing to do. I hope your brother can talk to his wife or yourself about
this.

Emmax

Awww Mummo, so very difficult for you all but yes, it may be the time to talk about it for your brother and sister in law, may save her worry when she will least be able to cope with more, and put your brother's mind at rest that his family will be looked after as he would wish.

Even discussing it may help, just knowing your brother's wishes, and the location of paperwork for insurance etc, there is a lot to sort out always and takes a long time sometimes, even with a will in place.

very best wishes to you and family,
Rose xx

Rose thankyou for putting this thread up.
Some of you will know my brother is dying so when l read this thread l wondered if he had made a will as he owns his own house and has many other things that would need sorting, so l've just this minute phone his wife and asked her and she said he hasn't , l know my brother is a very private person even with his wife and she said that he won't really talk about anything and she doesn't know about any of the bills or insurance policys as he has always done it...............big problems ahead if they donot talk and she did say he would be wondering what she was talking about to me on the phone l told her it was a good opportunity to say what l had said and hopefully he will start talking about it, l even said to her that a solicitor would come to the house as he couldn't walk now and they do have a young family also to consider, fingers crossed.
Once again thanks Rose and. everyone else that have told their stories

I know it's not a cheery subject but it did remind me so will put it here in case it helps anyone, that whilst my life insurance was adequate in my previous circumstances ( to pay off the mortgage for eg) now I have moved I should look at it again.

Hello Rose and all, we made our wills years ago and
when we retired we paid for our funerals, sorted it all
out so our children and which ever one is left has very
little to do.

Emmax

Muffy,

Time to do it now. Don't wait - none of us know what is around the corner.

If you have simple, mirror wills it is not too expensive.

Elisabeth x

We've sorted out what would happen to the children...ie...my parents or if they're not able to one of my best friends..who of course we've consulted about it and whose husband is au fait with it too. obviously whoever had care of the children would have the proceeds of the sale of the house etc so they could put our wishes into action ...

We haven't actually put it in writing though.....so I reckon it's about time we did.x

Another very interesting senario. Some difficult decisions there, and sadly some that contiunue divisions in the family. Never an easy path, trying to be fair to all.

Thankyou so much Elisabeth, I'd forgotten! back later

xx

The programme is just starting on BBC2.

Remember too, just thought of this, specify if you wish to be buried or cremated and where! You do not own your body when you die - your n.o.k. do and unless specified can do what they want. I have also left written instructions to executors re funeral service and music etc. Daughter will have a fit!!!!

My mil didn't make a will, lived in a council house and had no monetary assets, Stepfather didn't either.
MIL was widowed when my hubby the youngest of the 2 boys was 11ths old. She remarried and her second husband died before she did.
When stepfather died his grandchildren caused a fuss on the day of the funeral about who was going in the ' family cars' ... it had already been arranged with their mother the day before.They always say things flare up at weddings and funerals !!!
Hubby and his brother had already decided that their mam would have a grave of her own.They had to make that decision as there was no will showing her required 'choice' .Neither marriages were a bed of roses.
I 'found' the 'Rights of burial' certificate for their dad, so we had a headstone put on that, and whilst stepfather's dau was going to share the payment for his headstone, we had little contact after the funeral, except for her to say the wreaths on the grave were a mess, and that she had taken the written tributes from them .
Hubby and his bro paid for the headstone. I've no prob with that ,he was a wonderful grandfather to my children.. more than his own who he hardly saw.
Yes it is important to make a will whatever your circumstances.

All manner of things are covered by one's 'estate'.
A friend had terrible trouble because her father had died without leaving a Will.
Friend's mother died and was buried in a double plot. Eventually her widower remarried and after a few years he too died.. - without a Will. It had already been discussed that it wouldn't seem right to bury him with his 1st wife, so that space was to be reserved for their disabled son.
Fast forward some years and that son died, but the family no longer had rights to the grave as they had passed to the 2nd wife, and on her death to HER children. It took alot of effort, phone calls, certificates, swearing of oaths etc to get past the red tape to allow that man to be buried with his mother.
A Will could have prevented so much anguish.

Gwyn

Dad made a will , he had specific requests, items, money for friends,grandchildren ,mum's family ,the rest was between my sister and I
None of us ever had any bad words ,I and hubby were executors of his will, sister and would not have fallen out over any ornaments even.. he knew that :) He was 90 when he died and had good friends and inlaws ( no one on his side of the family ) that looked out for him.
Hubby or I haven't made a will, suppose we should,we have a dau and son who get on marvellously , who wouldn't squabble , but I suppose I would bequeath my parents and grandparent things to my sister or my very close cousin whom I regard as a brother ( he lived with us )

Chris ,even though we did ours a long time back.Things are still the same ,so touch wood we have no need to alter anything.
I have friends who have still not done theirs ,and I badger them all the time about it.I can't understand why they just can't take a little time and do it.It is so important.

We have made wills, leaving main to each other and some bequest to be fulfilled after the second one dies. Remainder at the moment to go to my niece as OH has no one to leave anything to. We have named charities and our church and our executor to receive money. Funerals are all paid for and sorted, so no trouble to anyone.

Well the vultures land at a funeral sometimes even before!!

yes,,it was updated (codicil)with a new grandchild on the scene.

dont ever think you have nothing to make a will for.....even a ten bob ornament can cause ww3......is what solictor told me and hes right.....

Strangely enough we updated our 25 year old wills on Friday (not signed yet. Not really any changes to the old will but one of the executors has changed and I wanted to mention all the Grandchildren. Ours is a simple reciprocal one but if either of our children pre-decease us the estate after we both have died is to be split equally between grandchildren.