General Chat

Thats quite a good idea and as I don't do dusting much it would be like a job completed! lol -jle

Amokavid-Perhaps you ought to see if you can go on the next program.lol.

I am absolutely riveted to everyone's attitude, even Sir Gerry Robinson's. In my own family my father left the house which just happened to be in his name to my eldest brother but allowing my mother to remain there......don't know what would have happened if she had remarried.Caused a lot of hassle when my father died as another brother said it should have been shared between us children.The real problem started when the house needed maintenance as the brother who was going inherit was bone idle, tight and passive. My mother didn't want to spend money on the property knowing that her money was leaving our inheritance to benefit the eldest brother. The result was that her home became less and less homely. After the funeral of my mum twenty years after my fathers, the brother inheriting the house took everything that was going. Our paths didn't cross for another 25 years until we went to another funeral a short time ago. We chatted and now he says how he would have done things differently if he had only known. The only person I have any feelings for was my poor mum who wanted to be fair to all of us. Even with a will there can be problems but it is better than not having one at all.

Just going back to Friday's program I think the best decision that was made was designating the man's Gallantry Medal to a particular daughter. When the money is sorted it is the little things which cause the most niggles. A list can be made without adding it to the will then at least everyone knows who has what..........get it done now.......lol....-jle

Um - talk to a solicitor?? Sounds very complicated and the children need to come to an agreement. Perhaps they can sign a contract? But they need to agree first!!!

Do you think it would be possible to add something to the Deeds of the house regarding the graves and access...or decide now exactly where you want to be buried and chop off the plot and access route from the Deeds for when the house is eventually sold. Obviously, the children can't agree at the moment, but it will happen sometime in the distant future.

Sorry Chris, I must have missed that. I was responding to SueMaid. We updated our Wills 3 years ago and the advisor started to talk about Living Wills and was met with a deep silence and swiftly moved on! We haven't followed it up, although realistically we ought to.

It is so difficult. Just taking 2 instances in the family. Father said he didn't want to suffer a mental decline/dementia, or be locked in an unresponsive body, then later changed his mind and said he didn't want to die.
Someone else (with serious health problems) was royally Peed off when she regained consciousness after 2 serious strokes and wished they 'hadn't bothered'. She was being treated for pneumonia as well but when she lapsed into unconsciousness again, she was allowed to slip away.

DET - I did suggest in an earlier posting re Power of Attorney, we did this 3/4 years ago when we remade our wills. However, re Living Will, some years ago I began to ask about this, solicitor, said - go to your GP, GP when approached said contact your solicitor and both in the end said they knew very little about it!

There have been queries raised in press etc as to the legalities of a Living Will and suggestions that a Power of Attorney should suffice although to me they are two completely different issues. When my mother (in her nineties) was unconsious some 6 years ago in hospital, the Sister rang me and said my brother had given instructions to DNR and wanted to know what I thought. I told her I agreed as I knew our mother would want that.

In England, this is now called a Lasting Power of Attorney, which has replaced an Enduring Power of Attorney. The EOP, if drawn up, is still legal.

You can also do a Living Will which states what type of medical treatment to give in case of serious incapacity eg stroke or injury which leaves you unable to communicate and likely to leave you in an (almost) vegetive state. A Do Not Resusitate (DNR) only applies to heartattacks or if you stop breathing. Anything else, so I am led to believe, they have to treat. Having said that, I am sure we have all heard, or been involved, of relatives and medicals agreeing that the person should be kept comfortable and allowed to slip away.

Not sure if I am ready to make decisions about a Living Will just yet. Possibly one concern is that medical advances in the future could improve chances of a useful survival which might otherwise be ruled out.

Just as important as your will is to make sure than decisions can be made on your behalf in case that illness or accident doesn't kill you but leaves you in a position where you can't make decisions for yoursel.....and don't make it just one person should you be the only one left in the marriage. Also don't think your children won't argue over what should and shouldn't be done because even the closest of families will disagree so make your wishes known.

Sue

Cheers Mick:))

Sandie - it is impossible to offend me, and believe me
many people on here have tried! lol


xxxx mick

Lol Mick~~~

Trust you to put a a bit of humour into an otherwise serious thread:))

You always lighten a subject up:))

No offence intended or received ,I hope.


Sandie.x

Will delete if the post offends anyone.
You may notice I have previously added to this thread..

I am leaving all my money to my cat,
with the condition that my nieces look after the cat
for the whole of it's long and healthy life,
then they will inherit my fortune.


xxxx mick

Greenfingers~~~~

No need to say sorry , but thanks anyway.

Whilst dad did make specific requests in his will, I would want to too .
Treasured items...Strangely I inherited them tho dad hadn't specified them in his will,( some were my maternal grandparent's ) cos sister and I never had a crossed word.
In fact when dad died my sister, who is older than my made a point of saying to anyone that asked for a memento ' You will have to ask Sand '

But that's trust in your family..which I have,

I don't have any items of huge value but would like my dau to have my jewellery (gold not bling..don't have any )

Sandie.

Must sort a will out anyway !

I'd certainly agree about updating an existing Will when circumstances change.

Last year, BM was put in an unfortunate position when he was asked to witness a Will. His friend's father was dying. The father had previously made a Will leaving his Estate in equal portions to his wife and 2 sons....assuming he would live to a ripe old age.

Instead, he was struck down with an aggressive illness and left it too late to organise his affairs. BM had to sit by his hospital bedside for several days with the other witness and the family hoping he would become alert enough to sign the new Will. Sadly, the Father never regained enough strength before he passed away to hold the pen.

Sorry if this distresses anyone, but it only goes to illustrate that Wills do need to be revised and not left too late.

Ann in Glos
You would be surprised.!!! Not at all unusual for people not to make their will these days. My OH 's M other had to be cajoled into making out her will and of course, we were the baddies for even suggesting it. Whilst edler brother sat on his laurels smugly being mummys favourite little boy for not saying a d mn thing . If we hadn't have kept on at her to do so, we would have had major communications problems. They havent spoken for a year, sadly.
Also I had to politely suggest making a will to an auntie and uncle. They were more helpful.!!

I'm in the process of updating mine at the moment, to be signed next week. Mine's not straighforward, as hubby and I don't have children together, but there are stepchildren.
Nothing much has changed as far as MY wishes are concerned, but what people often fail to realise is that once in a while the laws change - and for that reason, if you made your Will donkey's years ago, you should really get it updated.
Due to some recent law changes, my solicitor has suggested taking out one clause in my Will and modifiyng a couple of others, so as to protect those who inherit my property/money from unecessary taxation etc.
Sure, I could easily say 'well it doesn't matter, it won't affect me' but I'd far rather my beneficiaries got the full whack rather than a big portion going direct into the State's pocket just because I didn't bother getting it updated!

I know lots of people find the whole idea of making a Will, or giving thought to the funeral they want, a morbid subject. Personally i think it's far more morbid, not to mention difficult, whilst grieving, to sort out someone's estate when they didn't leave a Will - it can drag on and on forever. Even when there IS a Will it's not all cut and dried in a week or two!

For those who don't make a Will, please consider that you're leaving your loved ones with a pain in the neck to deal with after you've popped off.
It's all very well saying there's no need to make a Will because auntie Doris knows what you want done. If you don't leave a Will, it doesn't matter a hoot what auntie Doris knows, she won't (necessarily or legally) have a leg to stand on because everything will have to be done according to the letter of the law.

Happy Will writing...

K

I have to agree with Greenfingers. I have just had a new will drafted and will be signing it early next week.

For many years me and my husband had reciprocal wills in place. We split up some time ago and he is living with someone who has her own children. So I have been thinking about changing my will for a while - but then thinking that he would be looking after the children if anything happened to me, so maybe I didn't need to change anything after all. Certain recent events have made me realise that I needed get on with it if I wanted to ensure that my children, and only them would, benefit from my will.

It is just as well I decided to do that because in the course of looking through the paperwork I discovered that we had also signed Enduring Powers of Attorney. I had forgotten we had done that and it definitely needs to be undone!

I have even managing to get my Dad to sort out having a will drawn up. I think it feels good to know that everything is properly taken care of.

Tina x

Thanks ann.

f there are surviving children, grandchildren or great grandchildren of the person who died and the estate is valued at more than £250,000, the partner will inherit:

* all the personal property and belongings of the person who has died, and
* the first £250,000 of the estate, and
* a life interest in half of the remaining estate. This means that if you are entitled to the life interest, you cannot get rid of or spend that part of the estate. You can, however, have the benefit of it during your lifetime.


Couples may jointly own their home. There are two different ways of jointly owning a home. These are beneficial joint tenancies and tenancies in common.

If the partners were beneficial joint tenants at the time of the death, when the first partner dies, the surviving partner will automatically inherit the other partner's share of the property. However, if the partners are tenants in common, the surviving partner does not automatically inherit the other person's share.


Couples may also have joint bank or building society accounts. If one dies, the other partner will automatically inherit the whole of the money.

Property and money that the surviving partner inherits does not count as part of the estate of the person who has died when it is being valued for the intestacy rules.
(Example box starts)

Example: Tom and Heather were married and held their flat jointly as beneficial joint tenants. They had a child called Selma. Tom dies intestate leaving the flat worth £300,000 and £50,000 in shares in his own name. The flat goes automatically to Heather. This leaves an estate of £50,000 which also all goes to Heather, as it is worth less than £250,000. Selma inherits nothing.

If Tom had owned the flat in his own name, his estate would be worth £350,000. It would be shared out according to the rules of intestacy, that is, Selma would inherit half of the estate.

Unusual in this day and age Mummo isn't it that your brother is so anti making a will. I wonder if he realises that if his estate is over a certain amount (and I can't remember how much, you need to google intestate) it would not all automatically go to his wife. She would only get so much, then the rest would be divided as per the law.

I wonder why people refuse to make wills, my mother was the same, would not even discuss it.

Thanks Rose and Emmax, sister-in-law just phone me back and said she told him what l said and he replied that it was all going to her so no need to make one, subject closed, l told her not to worry at least it had been mentioned and maybe he will think about it and then talk to her again soon.