General Chat

Nudged into action by Carol's thread re life insurance I have just upped the amount of cover I have on my life insurance, something i have been meaning to do since we moved in November. I didn't want to add this on her thread, thought this a more appropriate place for a 'reminder'.

My circumstances mortgage wise have changed since I took out my policy 10 years ago, so now itwouldn't have paid off my mortgage. I don't want my son to be in the position where he would have to move out in the event of my death ( unless he wanted to) if he is still living with me.

Might be worth checking if you are like me a single parent, or just want to be sure there is 'enough' left to those you love. Writing that will and putting the policy details with it so it is all easy to find.

Mummo

Don't think we spoken before.

I read your posting and felt very sad.

I think R Rose has summed it up very well so I won't repeat it.

Spend some special time with your brother.

Best wishes to you and family ..xxx

Mummo, I am glad that your brother has made his will, a tiny bit less worry for his family.

I do hope your time with your brother will be happy and a treasured memory in the future. I would say don't worry if you break down at some point or both of you do, it's natural and may even be the best thing, easier to say what you really feel at moments like that, rather than holding back?

best wishes to you and family.

xx

Mummo,

I am so pleased your brother has now sorted things out. It will be one less worry for you all, especially his wife, when the time comes.

I will be thinking of you as you make your journey to see them all, though it will be a sad journey for you. You have had such a heavy burden over the last months.

I'm at the other end of a message if you need someone to talk to.

Love,
Elisabeth xx

Had a phone call from my brother on Friday evening to say he had made a will that morning and he even put in it that he wants to be cremated, l feel so much better knowing this as l would hate everyone to start falling out about different things.
Eddie and l are going to see him on Monday and we will stay for a few days but l'm going to find it so hard to know that when l walk out of his door l'm not going to see him alive again, so please God that l donot break down in front of him.

Reading thro this thread makes me want to make an apt with my Solicitor to do so.asap
My paternal nan was a very strong woman mentally, she made one, so did my dad (same as his mum , mentally you wouldn't get one over on him ..neither of them in fact.
Love and trust is one thing, which I have in my hubby and kids..
But first thing on my list is to make an apt with my Solicitor

Sandie.x

TheLadyinRed,
Just reading through your post, I hope you DO manage to get your hubby to write a Will.
As you are both in a second marriage, and both have children from the previous, AND grandchildren, I can't stress how important it is to get your Wills made. Or if hubby doesn't, then what's to stop you doing yours?
On the subject of bank accounts - certainly his will be frozen in the event of his death, but if you have a joint a/c then you are entitled to continue to use that.

I'm sorry if I sound morbid, or if this appears to be in bad taste, I don't mean to be, but have either of considered what would happen to your property and assets if one of you needs to go into a care home? You won't be left with much to pass on to anyone, if you don't make a Will!! Get the wording correct in a Will and you can protect some of it, and have something to pass on to children /grandchildren before the State snaffles the lot!!

K

P.S. On the subject of Pension, they were extremely quick sorting out my Mum's after my Dad passed away, they were so helpful on the phone. However, as you say, that doesn't guarantee you'd have enough to live on necessarily, but just wanted to put your mind at rest! K

I'm laid up in bed right now waiting for stitches to heal after surgery last Monday. Another week to wait for biopsy results.
I'm in a second marriage where my husband had already paid off his mortgage before we got together. He keeps his head in the sand when it comes to making a will, telling me that I'll get it all anyway so no need to write it down.
He's got bank accounts that I don't know about and I've no idea what my pension would be so whilst I might inherit the house I have no idea if I could afford to keep living in it.
I have a friend whose husband died without leaving a will. Because of the circumstances of his death there had to be an inquest which took almost a year to complete. Until that was completed she could not access his bank account and had to rely on their children to keep her afloat financially.
I've finally (I think) made my husband see sense by pointing out to him that if he dies without leaving a will then yes, eventually it will all come to me and so I could, if I wish, choose to leave it all to my own children rather than to his sons and grandchildren (not that i would but there is that possibility). However, whilst I wait for the legal process to complete I will have nothing to live on. He is 22 years older than me so have to be realistic!
I know that none of us want to contemplate our own demise but we must consider the problems that can be left for our loved ones if we die without making a will.
Also, contemplating surgery in last couple of weeks set me thinking about what would happen if I didn't make it through.
My local council has produced what I consider to be an absolutely excellent booklet about funeral wishes and I would urge everyone to download it and complete it if your own authority doesn't do something similar. The booklet can be found at:
http://www.stockton.gov.uk/resources/community/bereavementservices/funeralrequirements/funeralwishes.pdf

What I also discovered at that point was that when my father died in 1963, my mother bought the rights to the grave. She died intestate and so the right to transfer of that grave passes to my brothers and I but also to her nieces and nephews and varous other relatives so I have to gather their permission to be buried in that grave. Need to do that while I can.

These are all messes that could be so simply avoided if only we were not so squeamish!

Programme on again at 9 pm BBC 2.

Elisabeth x

Strangley we have seen our solicitor today to verify our wills made some 10 years ago, and we were told that a list with the will in your own handwriting can specify certain items for certain people, Great for us as this meant we did not haveto do new wills at this time. Though one should, of course, renew them when any cercumstances chnage, and lets face it , families do fall out.

Going back to what ?Deetortrainingnewfys? said about OH not ready/willing to do a mirror Will.

Although it won't help at the moment if he predeceases you, had you considered writing your own. Something along the lines of he to have your share, but to be held in Trust for his benefit, but the residue to go to your girls? All of them ought to be trustees (if the girls are over 18) See what a solicitor thinks....and to sort the wording out properly. You might consider an life insurance policy with the girls as beneficarys, although it could work quite expensive.

I do like the idea of leaving FH stuff to an archive; The youngest said she'd keep it. but it could be that she gave the answer she knew I'd like to hear!

I agree Kim.
Unless the Will is worded correctly, it can be deemed null and void even for the weeniest little thing, that's something the law is very picky about.

Something else to be aware of - especially if you are leaving property. Seek professional advice so that the Will is worded in such a way that the beneficiaries can best avoid paying death duties/inheritance taxes/CGTaxes, etc. There are ways around it, by leaving it to third parties/grandchildren/in trust and so forth.
It would be a shame for them to inherit something, only to have to hand over a big chunk to the State.

K

Karen

And the way to do it is through a solicitor, not these 'Write your own Will' as they can be misinterpreted, as we all know, when it comes a death they all comn out of the woodwork thinking about a share! :((

Kim x

My point exactly, Kim!
It's easy to think your other half, or family members, will 'do the right thing'... but the only way to ensure the right thing IS done, and done exactly the way YOU want, is to make that Will.

K

We made a will in 1988, after OH's brother died, then only child came along in 1992!

He was about 4 when I checked out the will.....He would have got nothing because of the way it was worded!

I was so thankful I was temping in a solicitors at the time and mentioned we had a will and they checked it for us.

Kim x

Edit.. My Mum wanted her half of everything left to my son, she died before my step father and left him everything thinking he would do the right thing, YEP he left our son £200 so we couldn't contest the will (as that is the minimum) so the house that my mum & I scrapped for went to his sons all £325k of it!!! lesson learnt :((

Dee - what about donating your tree to the county Records Office or the county family history society - then it will be available to those who are interested.

Hi There
Hubby and me made wills last year, I thought it would be fairly straightforward but turned out to be much more compilcated due to hubbies bussiness etc so I was glad we saw a solicitor to sort it all out. Worth it!

What I wanted to say was apart from property and cash our solicitor told us more and more people are mentioning family tree's in their wills almost as much jewellery and personel items!!

Some like it to be donated to their local history group, or specific relatives. I must admit I have loads of copy certs, old wills, maps and the like and my kids aren't interested either!! Would hate for it to be binned!!

Tina

I haven't made a will, but have been thinking about it over the past couple of years and this thread has made me think about it more.

My husband, absolutely refuses to make one saying that if he went first, everything would be left to me. We have joint ownership of our home and his father's old house. His father's house was left by his dad to him and his sister and we took out a joint mortgage to buy her half as she didn't want it. We rent it out to cover the mortgage in the hope it will give us an income when we retire. (we are a few years off that yet!).

I, on the other hand, am concerned about if we go together. I know my three daughters will argue about things and we have always treated them equally. This would be easy to solve, if I (and if poss) my husband made wills.

My biggest dilema is all the hard work I have done doing my family tree. I have spent a fortune on getting copies of certificates and parish records and I am nowhere near finished yet! My girls are not interested in my "hobby" and I really would like it all to be kept for future generations/descendants. But what should I do with my computer programme and files of paperwork? Who do I leave them to?

One thing I do know, is I would be very disapointed if I thought it would all be thrown away. Any ideas anyone?

Having girls, I have to decide who will have my wedding rings (one is my mother's wedding ring which I asked my dad if I could have on the death of my own mum). I don't have anything of any value really, just my little 2002 Peugeot 206CC, so couldn't think of anything any of them might want. Perhaps it is a good idea to chat to them about it - when I decide to get on with making a will, that is.

Any suggestions as to what other people have put into their wills would be most useful to give me ideas of things I might have but can't think of.

Thanks
Dee

Maternal grandfather didn't make a will and his 4 surviving children had no disagreement over anything.

Paternal nan did as she fell out with her son in law who lived in her house,she later moved to our house ,next door (she owned the 2 properties).

She allowed her dau to live there for her lifetime and then bestowed it to her 3 grandchildren on her death. Aunt died before my uncle, but my sister and I agreed it would be ungodliness to put him out on the streets, so let him live his life out there.
Dad's house and other unspecified chattels were left to him. He made a will.
He knew my sister and I wouldn't have any arguments, but had specific requests to friends and mums family of which we were unaware.

I know my 2 offspring won't have disagreements,, but I would like some of my treasured possessions go to specified peeps.. mine would probably bin them .lol
Ornaments ..sort of things, which I don't buy myself ..!!! but have been handed down to me and treasured.
...Note for my diary...Make a will !!

I think I said earlier that my Mum didn't make a will. Waht she did do was to leave a list of things with who was to have what with her jewellery and a coupple of ornaments. We all obeyed the list with not problems except she had left me her engagement ring and my sister her wedding ring and we agreed to swop.