General Chat

Hi All
Wot twice in one day?
Seeing it is a genealogical site I thought I should share that I received an pleasant email this morning. My GGGG grandfather was a carver and gilder. I have just received 76 pages of transcriptions of letters he wrote to his employer between 1778 and 1808. If any thought that I was verbose, then perhaps it comes down both sides of the family.
Regards
Bob
PS Now that is a dilemma! Will I continue reading "Tuesdays with Morrie" where after about three pages I have just learned that Morrie had Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, also know as Motor Neurone disease, which was the condition that killed my best friend 30 years ago. As my neighbour lent me the book in exchange for my lending him the one by the same author "Have a Little Faith".
Grandad's letters have been waiting for over two hundred years so I suppose he won't mind another few days before I read them.

Wow, Bob, I wish somebody would send me something like that. It would be great to read them. Now if it was about my Taylor side, it might tell me where my gt gt granddad was born. Unfortunately I cannot find him on the 1841 census and he died before the 1851 census :-(((

Huia.

Hi All

Well I have finished "Tuesdays with Morrie" and am so pleased my neighbour lent it to me. However briefly, the author Mitch Albom was certainly at the coal face when he was there. While reading, carers would certainly feel as though they were in the writer's shoes.

Regards now sounds too aloof so with love

Bob

Thats a brilliant book Bob and it does leave you thinking.

What a great find, your gggg grandfathers letters. Think they will be interesting.

Hugs to all carers.

Haven't been on this this site for a while, just hope everyone is OK.
Please update.
Thanks

Well I am still here, have been keeping busy. I bought myself some new bathroom scales last week as I was horrified when I stepped onto the old ones. I hadnt weighed myself for about 18 months. Ooooh, I cant weigh that much can I? The trouble is, the last year or so that Phil was at home, every time we went shopping when we went through the checkout he would want to buy chew bars of one sort or another. He always insisted on getting 2, one for him and one for me. He was like a small child. Wouldnt take no for an answer. He never put weight on, but I did. Now I have to work very hard to try to get it off. And I have to give up some of the things I like.

:(((((

Huia.

Huia, my sympathy. I could do with losing a stone, but cant think what I can cut out to do it. Dont eat anything with sugar in anyway. Upping my thyroxine lost me 7lbs and then it stopped.

Jean, I need to lose several stone :((((

I have found in the past that I can lose about half a stone and then the body says 'famine' and calls a halt to the weight loss. Not fair. Some people can eat all sorts of junk food and not put on any weight.

Huia.

Can I ask everybody, at what stage of health do you feel justified in asking for help? I can take care of personal things, but I feel that I am not caring for the home as I used to, and cooking is becoming a real chore. O.H. cant understand the change in me who could do so much.

Jean, I can still cook for myself, but then I dont do fancy cooking. As for h****w**k, I am too lazy to do it, likewise gardening. I pay somebody to mow the lawns and that is it. I dont know when you should seek help, I am afraid.

Huia.

A Very Happy Mother's Day to All

I have always had a very high regard for mothers. Since becoming a carer I have felt that they need a medal although some hardly get a "Thank You". I notice how easily the plates accumulate in the sink as if they are planted and are growing like the flourishing garden I used to have. I do not even feel like putting them in the dishwasher, so that has to be pretty lazy. When some one asked about vacuuming I respond with amazement "Are you supposed to do that, I am learning all the time". I try to hang things on the rack in the gas hot water cylinder room so that ironing is minimised and generally only slacks and shirts are done. A widow friend told me that her husband always liked the towels ironed and though he has been dead for about fifteen years she still irons the towels. I like the feel of a crisp towel after a shower. That's my excuse and I am sticking to it.
I must admit that getting weight off is not easy. But with a good breakfast of porridge bran and wheatmeal raw sugar and trim milk sets me up for the day and I can eat some fruit for lunch and miss out morning and afternoon snacks. We generally have fish or one of my stews for dinner and if I am lazy (poached or scrambled eggs). Having kept fowls in the early part of our marriage I always would say to anyone who thought that eggs were dear (in those days we got 6/- a dozen in the winter) no one would sit down and eat a dozen eggs but would happily eat the same value in a piece of steak.

I tried hard and got down to 76 kilos about a year ago but now average around 80. Even though that is down 5 kilos from my topweight it would still probably be regarded as mildly obese. Once you have avoided the biscuit tin for a few days you do not miss it.

Happy day tomorrow

Bob

Jean

If you are in the UK you can always ask for a carers assessment. This will help determine what help you need and what is available for you.

There is no obligation on your part to accept the help, but at least it will give you peace of mind

Bob, I have something in what we call the broom cupboard that is shaped like a T but the stem is rather longer and the cross piece has a lot of whiskers on it. Would that be a broom? If so, what is it for? As for ironing, well I rarely do any. Just a couple of my summer skirts which tend to get creased badly.

Huia (who doesnt have carpet so rarely uses her vaccuum cleaner and tells people she only sweeps the floor if she is expecting visitors or if her head is bumping the ceiling).

I started this but before I got a word down had to take one daughter and grandchild to airport after their visit for Mother's Day. So here we go again.
Being an pseudo-farmer I have seen those things used around the cowshed and while in the spring the yards do have green carpets all the keen farmers hate them so badly they brush all evidence away after each milking before the dairy inspector calls (that is if they still do that), It is quite funny that the yards gets re-carpeted twice each day so I think that using them is an excercise in futility. They are quite useful for getting those cobwebs down but those of us who shall be nameless and have "blind eyes" do not see any of those things in their homes do they?
The carpet on our floors now belong to the landlord so we do have some responsibility but be assured they get the same infrequent treatment as they got when they were ours. Not having cats or dogs does help.
I know I could get help (even "Down-Under" here in NZ) if I asked, but there is something soul-destroying to be sitting down and watching and hearing someone else doing one's "H***E-W**K". I would find it hard to hold back the tears (perhaps from laughter). I have heard that it is good exercise as well not like wasting that energy in a gym (more tears of laughter at such a sight).
I love our slow-cooker and the stews and soups that it produces and the surplus can be used for days when I feel even lazier than doing poached eggs.

Bob, I am shocked that you should even suggest making those poor defenceless little spiders homeless. Think of the good they do catching all those flies.

Huia.

Wot Flies!

Surprisingly, Epsom flies are not high-fliers as are some of the people who live here. They can't make to the first floor. That's the flies I mean!
Now with all those racing stables in Epsom UK that might be a different matter.

Hi Bob, long time no speak..., hello Jean, and hi again Huia.

I love the way you bring humour to your problems - I have to say having been a cleaner for several elderly neighbours until nearly 3 years ago, they certainly didn't have a problem watching me vacuum their carpets and clean their loos! I always swore I wouldn't be a cleaner but needs must when I had to earn some extra cash and I could be fairly flexible and go when I felt well enough. I also found they were very glad of the company those of them that lived alone and loved having someone to chat with as I worked and they sat!
Now of course, I struggle to clean this house of o.h's but as he doesn't do it, I have to make the effort if it's his birthday, my birthday, Christmas or visitors threaten to call. it is made harder by all my things stuck around as he never really made room for me and there are no bookshelves or decent sized wardrobes so too much stuff about and not in a 'home' Can you believe someone would take all the trouble to make built in wardrobes with sliding mirror doors but not measure the depth of coat hangers so everything has to be pushed at a slant to close the doors, and as he is ham fisted, lots of my things get ripped at the shoulders when he gets the hangers wrong and they get stuck in the doors.

Jean, I would think about asking around to see if anyone knows a good cleaner, you could ask her to start by doing the bathrooms and kitchen, and vacuuming the carpets or cleaning the floors while you dust your ornaments and such so that they were not around for long and did the bulk of the work, or did whatever you find hardest.

You could also think about having those bought in meals and getting enough for half the week - that way you could cook sometimes when you felt able and fancied something special and the other days you could use the bought in meals. If you do the transition gradually you won't feel quite so redundant and will free up time and energy for yourself, so you can do what you please without feeling you are neglecting things badly.

Anyway folks, take care

I must get to bed, it's daylight outside and still raining!!!

Haven't seen Sharron for a while, hope she is ok

Love
Lizxxx

Bob, here in the country the blowflies fly up the stairs from the basement. I can have the front door shut, a screen on the back door and windows but because I leave the door at the top of the stairs to the basement partly open for the benefit of the cat I get blowflies in the house. I hate them. And then there are the silly little flies that fly in squares. They annoy me.

Hi there again Liz.

Huia.

Purple, my worst problem is a husband who cant see that I find things difficult. He does help, but is always eager to get up to his lathe or the garden, anything so long as its not housework. Paintwork dirty, He cant see it. Curtains need washing, we did them last year! That sort of thing. He doesnt tolerate strangers in the house.

Oh dear Jean, that's a real problem for you. My o.h. is the same in that he won't get anyone in to do work, he hasn't worked on the bathroom changes he started in Nov 2007 - we have had no bathroom cupboard since then and just one mirror door from the old cabinet propped on a shelf over the sink where I have as many of my shampoos and such as I can fit on together with the toothpaste etc. I won't leave my toothbrush out in the open as the shelf is about 18" from the loo so I have to put mine on the window sill in between a clean dry flannel to keep the toilet germs away from it. There is no heating in the bathroom at all now, at least before there was one of those old fashioned electric heaters on the wall to take the chill off in winter before having a bath but now nothing! He started tiling round the bath as that had only tile on a roll wallpaper there before, and he put in a shower but it's not fully fitted yet so not usuable and there is still some tiling to finish, some grouting to do and the walls to decorate, they are chocolate brown which was the colour he put on before he papered it during his marriage. The suite is that goldyyellow SunKing so the room needs finishing off to make it look anything half decent - oh and the tatty old carpet is still down, he is yet to decide on wall colour, flooring and cupboard style. I did suggest he get someone in to finish it but he has this idea no one will do it as well as he could, well best he gets on with it lol He desperately needs a new kitchen as the current one is 28 years old, and scruffy beyond belief, the carpet is the orange and brown axminster one that goes through the dining area of the kitchen diner, all very tiny - kitchen and bathroom are the same size, around 6' x 7' and the lounge is a through room off the kitchen diner so with a pinky terracotta carpet that is now 13 years old, it looks awful I can see a mad splurge if his son decides to bring his new wife over from NY for the other son's wedding and you know who will bear the brunt of the organising, sorting out and cleaning etc Just hoping and praying the NY son will only have enough money to come over alone - he still hasn't got a job even tho he has his green papers now and has been living off the woman he married since Dec 2008 and she has two little girls.

He has loads of stuff to do outside the house too, new facia boards, new garden gate and fence around it, and all the sills and such to be stained again and varnished as they are wearing badly, and will he get someone to do it, no way!

Hope you can find a way round your problem Jean, do not push yourself and make yourself ill with the work. I know it's not nice to know the place isn't as you'd like it but your health is paramount, and maybe at some point you can get a few little jobs done by someone close to you.

Why are men so stubborn lol?

Take care

Lizxx

Oh I have been moaning about having to think of what to cook and do it and then wash up every evening - well all weekends, all week on alternate weeks and every Friday, and only have four evenings when he is at work so I can please myself and eat my favourite things that he doesn't like.
Last evening he announced that it would help me if I wrote down what is in the freezer (I already know what's there!!) and we could plan a menu for the week so I didn't have to worry about what to make for dinner. How b****y kind of him! What he didn't take into account that when my fm etc is bad is when I struggle to think of something I can just throw in the cooker to do itself almost. Oh well says he, we can choose some easy and some more complicated meals and switch them about accordingly. He says he won't cook anymore because I made a fuss about all the stuff he left for me to wash up, he is one of those men who use every bowl and pan around and the other thing is, he never cooks much, and always less than three veg so we don't get our quota per day. It's ok now and then but I make sure we have as much veg as possible, also I cook according to his dietary needs, with his high cholesterol and diabetes. His idea of a meal is tuna and pasta bake which is fine, but that's all you get, no extra veg or carbohydrate which he needs for his diet, just a small tin of sweetcorn with the fish and pasta! He has always provided twice as much protein and a tiny amount of veg and carbohydrate with meals, and his diabetes needs the right balance to keep it in check.

So after him shouting that he would never cook for me again, he has given up the idea of menus and things are no different lol