General Chat

I agree to a degree about info about living people not being posted on an open forum but as it is their relative not mine I don't think it is up to me to dictate what info they can or can't post. When I help someone with these searches I ALWAYS send them the info by PM - I would never post it on their thread for all the world to see.

Mary

How are you supposed to add a person that you looking for on the trying to find board without putting the names lol.
Rosex

Of course I can't understand it Kay, but I still worry that way too much information is posted on an open forum................not all of these people were adopted though, most are looking for fathers they have lost contact with for some reason or other.

If you never been in a situation of need then nobody can fully understand it,,

Good luck Gerald I hope you see yor name in lights one day and I admire you, for standing up to be counted,


Yes there are agencies that undertake this work on behalf of an Adoptee but it comes with a hugh price tag and very many are not in a postition to fund it,which slides into hundreds of pounds,

These people may have been kept a dark secret from the world,but like all family secrets they have a habit of rearing its head when least expected,,its not the fault of an adoptee they was born or given up,,this is the price a birth parents pays,,,,,,


Unless you have been in that desperate situation then youll never how just what desperate measures someone will take to find their roots,,and it come with a hugh package of mixed emotions that unless in their shoes no one can inagine,

I pointed out to someone on the trying to find board yesterday that as she had no contact with her father and was searching for him, he shouldn't be on her tree without permission.

Her reply was..........."he's my father!!!!!*

She had his name and last known address on view for everyone to see, then a member gave details from an electoral roll and named the person living with him as well.

That, to me, is very wrong.

Gerald
There is a goverment supported agency called NORCAP which has registers for tracing , advice, support etc
and another called Missing Links http://www.adoptioncontactregister.com/

Gerald I really hope that one day your dream comes true. People often have no idea how harshly girls (and their boyfriends) were treated before the late 1970's.

Mary

If you can't add a living person to your tree without their permission why should you be able to add a name of a person who is likely to be alive without their consent?

I know that if my sister saw her name here she'd have a fit. Her life is how she wants it to be and has no desire to be contacted..........and thats where agencies come in.

I feel the same as DD................but I have never had the same problem as the people trying to find their parents.

I do worry that if the information is false, it could cause major problems for the person who's personal details are posted for anyone to see though.

There are always two sides to every story and no matter what the actual truth is, the absent parent is always assumed to be the one in the wrong.

Gerald.............I hope one day you will see your son again.

i hope the person looking for his dad gets results,i thought thats what this site was here for,i wish him luck

I thought there were agencies set up for finding adopted and biological parents.
I think it's something that should be monitored carefully.
Sometimes the situation can be very complicated and I personally think Genes should stop letting people advertise who they are looking for when they are living people.

I was interested in Geralds reply I also hope it comes true for him.

I suupose these days a lot of the chaps know they have fathered children I was thinking more of those suddenly faced with someone who says "hello your my dad"!

I do'nt expect it happens like that though

Bet

I understand what you are saying Elizabeth but there are possibly a lot of men like Gerald out there.

Good luck Gerald and I hope your dream comes true some day.

This is very wrong ..but if the dads keep walking away from these kids what can we exspect from the children when they are to old to be controlled on this matter by their parents .......

I have 3 children in this situation ...but allowed one of them to contact his father and met up ....his dad didnt turn up ...sorted ...the other two remember thier dad so dont want contact .......

There is yet another person on the TTF Board looking for his "biological father"

All in capitol letters!!
Full name,where he is thought to be living,plus his mothers name (and his own)

I feel very uncomfortable when I see these,and there are quite a few of them and likely to increase in future!

What come-back do these men have if it should not be true?

Bet