General Chat

Kitty /Belair,

Now stop the domestic,>>>please!!,,,,,misunderstandings has reared its ugly head again,!!!

Each has thier own opinion,,,,,,resolved,,,,,,,,,,

Every child does have that right. But not to have it plastered all over a website for the whole world to see!

Every child has the right to a lineage


The Government has got something right. A clause in the Welfare Reform Bill, to be put through Parliament in the autumn, will require the names of both parents to be entered on birth certificates. At present, 50,000 babies a year, seven per cent of births, are registered without a father's name. That is an appalling injustice to those children and their future descendants.


Interest in genealogical research is flourishing

Debate over this law has short-sightedly focused on the respective rights of mothers and fathers. What about the rights of children and their progeny? There has never been more widespread interest in genealogical research than there is today, with many thousands of enthusiasts finding a reassuring sense of identity, in a turbulent world, by tracing their roots.

That should be everyone's birthright: to know their paternal lineage. Whether the father is respectable or worthless is irrelevant. Everybody should have a right to know and to trace their origins, if they want, beyond their immediate parentage. For future generations to encounter an impassable chasm of anonymity, with eventually millions unable to trace their male lineage anterior to 2008, would be intolerable. Modern DNA techniques mean that no man need fear having a child he has not fathered foisted upon him. This is a much-needed reform.

Please, please dont let this thread get nasty. its just about peoples opinions differing.

I have pm'd you Belair................I was actually responding to Janine's post.

♥ Kitty the Rubbish Cook ♥ ..................................No need to be afraid looks to me like your the one being sarcastic.

My uncle's wife had a daughter who was conceived while he was in France in W W 2, they would have divorced had he not been killed out there.The little girl was told that he was her father and I hope she never contacts me, as the dilemma would be whether to say anything. Of course its possible her mother told her when she was old enough to understand,or she may have worked it out for herself.

As I said these people dont and are not doing it to name or shame but feel a ***desperate ***need. no more than any seeking that vital piece of family history info,, but theirs becomes an vital obsession beyond what most dont undestand,,,,,,,,,,,.........and they shouldnt be judged..

Mum had my sister in the late 1940's and had the support of her family. She married nearly 10 years later and my sister was later adopted by my father. She didn't particularly get along with him and there was a lot of flack from his family re mum being a single mother etc before they married. They never let mum forget that either.
My sister has always said she would never want anything to do with her biological father and if he ever tried to find her (even now) she wouldn't acknowledge him.
Everyone is different

♥ Kitty the Rubbish Cook

I'm with you. Neither will I!

For the record, I am the daughter of someone who was in that position, it wasnt easy for her in the 50's by any means. As I stated before I am not ashamed and nor is she. NOBODY should be ashamed for bringing a child into the world, whatever the circumstances.

If I look for an address for someone who is trying to find a parent, or sibling, whatever, I pm the person to let them know where the information is. I think it is wrong for someone to help but put the info up publicly especially the name of another person in the house. That part could be done by pm.
I can understand someone putting up all the details they know to try and find out more of their past.
I am lucky that my son did meet and have some kind of relationship with his father, still does of sorts, but his father is not what you would call a good supportive dad since he married the step mother.
Lizx

Belair

Nobody is judging you, you have the right to do what you think is right, as I said before I respect your opinion. Its just that my opinion is different to yours and I dont think someone should have their names and addresses put for everyone to see. What if its wrong? Not you personally, but what if someone 'thinks' someone is their father and names them only to find its not true.

It would appear, that many of us have differing opinions on this subject, and we all have to respect this fact.
However, if I saw someone on here looking for my father, to tell him he was their father,and it is possible, because he was in the Navy during the war, I would immediatly be upset and hurt. Just seeing his details would be enough to cause upset. My dad is 86yrs now, and my mother long gone, but if that scenario was possible, for him, I think he would tell me now if he had anything to say. On the other hand, why not let him take his secret with him.
This is purely hyperthetical, bye the way, but how I feel if in that position.
I do appreciate that perhaps the person looking know that time would be of an essence, but there has got to be another way of going about these things.
Julia in Derbyshire

Well sorry but I am upset by all your comments that we shouldn't name these men, I have carried this for years and only when I became a member on this site did i feel like I could talk about things and would not be judged as I felt in the past. I glad you have so much sympathy Kitty, perhaps if you was in this position you might feel different, so kitty can you find Tom who lived in London SE1 and tell him his son is now 43.
Thanks

Belair

My own mother felt the same, I was called a B@$$tard by the other kids in the street who didnt have the intelligence to realise what they were saying, 'out of the mouths of babes'. But as my Grandparents used to say to my Mother, "Go out there, push the bairn in the pram and hold your head up high" and thats what she did. She did a great job bringing me up, I love her dearly and am so very proud that she is the person she is. I will never, never be ashamed of her or who I am.

i wish all people searching all the luck in the world,ive had great luck so far

Belair..

Never ever ever ever feel you have to have any guilt or shame for carrying your child...its not shamful and neither is it sinful..!!!

No need to be afraid.................we have differing opinions, that's all:)

im with belair im afraid

Well I would love to name and shame, but will leave at at that shall we, it was only me who had to carry the shame of having a baby out of wedlock!