General Chat

Sending you a huge hug Anita,

Sometimes it all just gets on top of you doesnt it? Everything going wrong, not having enough money, people letting you down?


You have mates here hun, peeps who care,


Caz xxxxxxxxxx

Julia - don't worry I go by either on here lol - Anne is my middle name.


Linda - i can't really afford to pay someone professional - can barely afford mates rates - well not at the rate the guy charged for my bathroom !!!

Caz - too right it does - everything - never ending - i stopped at Argos on the way home to pick something up - get the box open and it's got to go back !! that's 2 things this weekend now i have to take back grrrrrrrr

i am very grateful for the company of everyone here even if i don't always post - it can make you feel less alone just reading - it's like sitting in a cafe or bar listening to the hum of conversations :O)

Anne, just thought, if you aren't planning to sell so soon, maybe better to wait a while to do the kitchen, since it isn't ordered or anything. That way you would avoid the problem with your friends and later when you do it you might be able to afford a proper fitter. Also it might mean you could afford to come to the Norwich meet and do all sorts of gadding about lol
Hope you feel better soon,
Lizx

Totally agree how u feel i run when family need me iv just found out i have a birth father out there my mum failed 2 tell me im so alone no ones helping keep ur head up b strong. X

Katz love, please read your thread, you've got very supportive peeps here. You've got support, and offers of help. Don't think you're alone. :-))
The above goes for you too, Anita, but then, you know we're here for you. Hope you're feeling less alone today.
xx

How are you feeling today Anita?

A bit better I hope.

xx

Morning Liz

To be honest if i wait the kitchen will end up costing me more as the prices will rise. I already have new (second hand) appliances sitting about waiting to go in the new design.

I've lived with this one for 8 years now - i only got 6 months out of my previous new kitchen before i moved - No - i want to have it in and enjoy using it - not spend loads only to leave it brand new for someone else straight away

If i have to i will do it myself with some one guiding me ................

My home is very important to me - it's my little sanctury tho you wouldn't think so to see it just now lol x

Hi Kitty :O)

Just coming on to update.................




At the weekend i had been having a little grumble to mum about all the silly little jobs i still needed to get done - shower rail - shelf unit - floor tiles ...............

all things i can manage but ideally need an extra pair of hands.

Last night about 7pm Dad calls and asks if i will be in later cos he wanted to pop round. I thought 'great - mum's told him and he's coming round to offer help'

He turns up handing me a bag - 'present for you'


A wooden mallet and a little tool for removing nails and staples from floor boards ! ! ! !

That's it !!! that's the help i get - flipping tools !!!!!!!!!!!

Did he give my brother tools to do his jobs ?? NO - he spent days and weekends doing them all for him ...........................

Didn't even notice that i wasn't looking or feeling my usual self - even the cleaner at work knows when summat is wrong with me but my own flesh & blood can't see it :O(




Anyway - i had an early night last night - sort of lol (Gwen sorry i missed your calls) ........ i feel a bit better but it's still hanging over me like a black cloud xx

And I was just going to add do you feel better today. Perhaps mom and dad think you can cope more than your brother - have you tried asking dad for some help? Here's me I am absolutely helpless, hopeless and fat too - hubby wont even let me loose with a paintbrush - although now he is getting older and has aches and pains me somehow thinks that will alter - perhaps I will be of use one of these days. Chin up Anita - have your new kitchen and enjoy and if you do it yourself BRAG about it !!!
Love Mary xx

Hope you are feeling a bit better this morning, ive got an idea

you know the freecycle site ? there is also one which is attatched to them called freecycle cafe group ( cant find the addy but it would be differant for each area) anyway the have people who can do things like put in a kitchen or whatever in return for something that they need i.e. ababy sitter for a evening out see if you can join it might be the answer to all your problems

big (((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))

julia xx

I think you need to tell your dad how you felt when he handed you tools instead of offering to help you.

I'm sure he loves you to bits and may well think you don't need his help as you haven't asked before.

Worth a visit or phone call maybe?

As for that black cloud................it needs a kick to get rid of it, sometimes medication is the only thing to get it moving away from you.

Don't let it envelop you Anita...........depression is a horrible place to be.

xx

Kitty - thanks ............ i know only too well about depression - i recently stopped the prescribed meds as they were making me pile on the pounds......... am on a herbal substitute now, with my GPs blessing.

I have asked Dad for help in the past many many times - but altho he might say yes it's 'well i don't know when i'll be able to do it cos i've got things i'm doing'...............

FGS he's retired - he has all the time in the world but if i want his help i have to wait weeks and months, he;s off to my brother at the drop of a hat - if i ask i need the help there and then or soon after .................. So - i stop asking!

Then maybe you could have a word with your brother................siblings usually rally round to help in times of trouble.

Tell him how you are feeling and maybe he could speak to your Dad on your behalf.

xx

I doubt it Kitty ...........

he has enough to deal with himself - he's been battling depression and stress since his wife died

Hi Anita

Julia and Kitty have just typed what I was about to.
re. exchange of labour,and asking for help.

My OH and his pals do this,each have their own skills,and help one another. if you don't mind me asking Anita how old are your parents,are they fit?They must think you're very strong and independant, perhaps your brother doesn't show this and they think you don't need them so much.

I'm retired now but like nothing more than the feeling of being able to help my Family,in any way possible!

Wish you lived nearer!!

Hope your problems are solved soon,
Mau (xx)

Hi Mau

i don't have any skills to offer in return for a scheme like that

my folks are mid 70's

yes i'm independent - i've had to be since i left home 20 years ago - i've managed entirely on my own - no partner to share the burden

but a lot of things i don't really have the skill or physical capability for

at least my brother has those - he's a mechanic by trade and quite capable of doing things

i guess they feel sorry for him with what he's been thru and with finding out what his married life was 'really' like due to his wife's 'illness'

i've only been dumped by boyfriends - not quite the same to them i expect lol

I should print all this off and give it to my counsellor ............ this has thrown out more than a 45 min session with her can lol