General Chat

Doest think maybe getting some dutch courage?

Hmmm !

Methinks the Old Bard is a snapper-up of unconsidered trifles.

For a jest's prosperity lies in the ear of him who hears it.


And what's more ....................... I'm definitely not climbing up any balcony for her !

It’s guaranteed to happen
As sure as night follows day
Every time there’s footie on the telly
She just _has_ to stand in the way
It’s the same when I’m watching cricket
The rugby and motor racing too
She’s completely oblivious to a man’s needs
Mum always knew what to do

But revenge will be mine this evening
For she’ll be in that chair without fail
And I will be by the fuse box
To short circuit Emmerdale

Tomorrow’s the evening I hate most
It’s when her wholesome mates come around
They sit drinking tea and yapping
And make the most nauseating sound
They think that I’m there as their lackey
They eat cake after cake by the ton
They expect me to keep filling their plates
And they think it’s a great heap of fun

But this week I’ve planned something special
For I’ll bake them a cake like mum taught
And I’ll top it with laxative chocolate
…………….That’ll give em food for thought !

He watches so much rubbish
He's in complete enthrall
shouting at a bunch of silly men
chasing a little ball

He sits there with his lager
in his favourite footy kit
his whistle ready round his neck
he really looks a t*t!

He must think they can hear him
when he shouts and yells so much
"Oi ref" he bawls "thats a foul"
I could kick HIM into touch

But who am I to deprive him
of his simple little pleasure
cos while he's watching tele
I can go shopping at my leisure

The Bard

lol xx May.

At last I’m getting some respite
I’ve got a new job and it’s a peach
I’m off to the sun for six months
As a lifeguard on Magaluf beach
I know I’m not as young as I was
And I can no longer claim to be slim
But already I'm pumping the iron
And I’ll pretty soon learn how to swim

I suppose I will miss the old bat
Even though she is such a pain
But the time will pass oh too quickly
Then we can start rucking again

off to bed chuckling

you lot are crackers, but brilliant

thank you

xxLynnxx

WHAT A HOOT WLL BE MAILING POEMS TO FRIENDS DOWN IN THE DUMPS IN FRANCE THEY WILL SOON BE CHUCKLING ...

Well Autumn Leaves
the time has come to
bid you a fond farewell.

We have grizzled and groaned
whinged and moaned
but all in the name of fun!


Thankyou Autumn Leaves for being such a good sport
and thankyou May for letting us hijack your thread

The Bard
aka Angelina Ballerina
xxxxxxxxxxx

Well done and thank you Angie, Tina and Kieth for all the entertainment. M

Oh no not the end please loved the poems just one more please j

Bravo Tina-your poems were great!!!

Angie (formerley The Bard) xx