General Chat

Sorry for that I just looked and his name came up no surname.But then I'm on his side lol

Of course you are Stan you're a male but I didn't know it was a case of sides thought it was all just a bit of poetic fun....... May.

Dear Autumn Leaves
I bid you goodnight
dont stay in the pub too late
and if you decide to go boogying
dont you dare come home in a state!

Goodnight and Godbless

The Bard
xx

Oh Bard your'e going soft

Wait till tomorrow!!!!!!!!

The Bard

Women tend to have the franchise of the tongue.

thought this needed a nudge

I seek him here
I seek him there
Oh where can he be residing
As soon as I ask him
"could you" he quickly goes into hiding

The shelf in the lounge is still wonky
the door on the cupboard still squeaks
He writes them on his "to do" list
then I dont see him for weeks!

So now I've decided to join him
and have my own list of "to do"
On it is his "washing and ironing"
But I'll never get round to them............would you?

The Bard

Is it my turn now ?

It’s like a horror movie
When she comes to bed at night
To see her creeping through the shadows
Really gives me a fright
With spiky things stuck in her hair
And her face as white as the sheet
Evil-smelling stuff upon her hands
And evil-smelling feet

But I’ve got something to see her off
Which I knocked up in the shed
A string of garlic on a wooden stake
Which I’ll hang above the bed !

Autumn Leaves-I didnt know you cared!

He gets out of bed in the morning
and fishes his teeth out the jar
He fetches his wig off the bedpost
do you get the picture so far?

He shuffles along in his slippers
whilst scratching and picking his nose
He sticks out his tongue as he looks in the mirror
ooh yuk he's no lovely smelling rose!

He pulls on his hideous y fronts
and tucks in his vest nice and tight
then his scrawny wee legs get shoved in his kegs
thankgod they are now out of sight


The Bard

Tina
I like the poem-thankyou!

The Bard

bravo Bard.....Autumn Leaves your next........

The diet isn't working
I think it's fair to say
Unless it's aim is to put on weight
Which she does each passing day
But I must admit her mouth looks slimmer
In fact it looks quite thin
It must be all the use it gets
Perched above her triple chin

But I think I know how to help her out
And it'll work pretty quick I'd guess
When she next asks if her bum looks big
I'll courageously say yes.

He talks to her in a loving way
he strokes her frequently
He cannot get enough of her
He's not like that with me

He buys her things most every week
He cares not what he spends
He knows exactly what she likes
Oh will it ever end?

I hope not thats all I can say
I will not even moan
He can go and live with his bloomin CAR
I'd rather be alone!!

The Bard

both back on top form today goood

Hi Tina

another Bard in the making me thinks!

I suppose we’ll soon be going
For every summer it is the norm
She’ll pack our bags and drag me onto a plane
For our two weeks in Benidorm
She’ll crash out by the swimming pool
And often waddle off to the bar
Where she’ll stuff her face with paella and chips
And gallons of Shangri-la

But I fancy somewhere different this year
Though the cost may be a bit of a push
A wildlife African safari
And hopefully lose her in the Bush !

He thinks I havent seen them-
his little leopard skin speedos
if he thinks he's wearing them near me
He really is a weirdo!

I've seen him sneak them in the case
underneath his medallion
I really feel sick already
and the holiday hasnt yet begun!

He thinks he's John Travolta
when he puts on his white gear
and struts off to the discotheque
to ogle,pose and leer!

He eyes up all the ladies
as he twirls around the floor
I wish he'd carry on twirling
'til he reaches the bloomin door!

Well tomorrow I'll have the last laugh
cos when he pulls his trunks up higher
he'll really feel the pinch you know
cos I've shrunk them in the dryer!

Ouch!

The Bard

Oh Autumn Leaves-where for art thou?

The Bard