General Chat

kay always the wise one xxx


and yes kay is right again

hi ya boro joy,~~~

I agree with you Kay. We all have to start somewhere and we all know it isnt easy. What where the insults he got anyway?

hello kay hun ((( hugs )))

I'm trying to understand how anyone opening their tree expects their new contact to have the same amount of information to share in return.

I have shared huge amounts of information on branches of my tree and been freely given masses of information on others but I can't think of a single case when it's been the same person.

It's swings and roundabouts. I help someone and a different person helps me.

Anyone looking at my tree on GR is only getting very basic information (I only put in place and date of birth) but, if you turn out to be lucky enough to be related to one of the families I know a lot about, I'll send you lots of extra files, photos etc.

It's difficult when reading messages online but this one from Prento reads a bit like "These are my ancestors, I found them, I know a lot about them and you can't share unless you give me something".
The new contact shouldn't have been rude (though may not have intended to sound like that). However it must be frustrating if you think someone has found loads more about your ancestors but isn't going to even give a clue about where to look.

Sue

PRENTO. Was the insult that their tree didnt have as much info as yours? Maybe they didnt know what info you had. They are probably working hard on their tree to get further. Do u really want to make it even harder for them. Remember what it was like when u first started.

prento
i do hope you now understand

what our site is all about

I do understand what you mean about rudeness but I can honestly say that I have never actually be insulted on this site.

I have, however, received loads of help from people who have been kind enough to point me in the right direction to find things for myself (I am so addicted to the thrill!)

I have met some lovely people who are connected, one or two of whom sent me pictures and now I know who we look like.

In addition I have just met lovely people who chat to me. What a saving grace!

I get really excited when people ask me for help whether it be with the tree or about my area.

I do get disappointed though when I ask for more details to help (I don't keep many details on here) and then they don't get back to me for ages.

Ask for more details about specific connections and then supply the information during the conversations you have. Details are the currency, chatting is the reward I suppose.

Or is that just becasue I Love to talk!?

As far as this "being rude" business ...

If I contacted someone who was very plainly related to me (or at least had direct ancestors of mine in his/her tree), and got the response back that s/he was not interested in me because I had no information to give that s/he wanted ...

Well, that is what *I* would call rude. And if that is actually how a contact goes, I can't imagine calling *anything* that a person getting that reply says in response "rude"!

I'd call it a quite natural response to being rudely snubbed for no reason, is what I'd call it.

This phrase of Prento's bothered me....

I was reluctant to provide information relating to my ancestors considering the cost and time outlay.

?

my ancestors?

I don't have any ancestors unique to me. My sister shares them all.
My parents were both only children but even they are someone else's cousins.

It's so easy when you've done a lot of research to gleefully hang onto your lovely big tree but all you have actually done is uncovered relationships which exist whether or not you know about them.

A distant cousin is a relation whether you like it or not.

I've spent money on my research (and on lookups for others) but people from all over the world have sent me documents and spent time and energy looking things up for me.

If someone doesn't like sharing then they are quite within their rights to build their tree on their own computer and use the Internet for research but when a site is called Genesreunited it does rather imply that sharing is expected by most members!!

Sue
x

I think you need to read Prentos post,,,as I belive his main grip that the contact hadnt much to offer by way of reseach to his own standard,after he viewed their tree......and therefore declined ot offer any from his own........then resulted in him/them being asked why then belong or have your family history on site ........by that I took to mean if no sharing was going to take place,,,,,,
But as Prento hasnt given maybe a full account perhaps messages unknown were passed between contact and them.?

The dead belong to nobody,,,,,,,,,edit,,to mean information on the dead belongs to no one,,its avalible,,,,,,

Sue.
My oh tree cost in region of 4grand because of complicated and confilcting info and that was phase one of it,,,,,,,,,,would that info be shared including reams of documents,,,,,,yes as much was relevant......(some wouldnt be of intrest or be needed)

I think the dead belong to all of us if we are related. We all go to cemeteries, remember dates etc, I would give whatever info i have to a relative if i could help. But we are not all like that. My OH family is from Barbadous and has cost lots of money but i wouldnt hold back if there was a positive link.

I'm not quite sure whether you are agreeing or disagreeing with me Kay.

I've no idea how much my tree has cost me to do........it has been far more in time and effort than in actual money.

If someone turns up who is related to a branch I know well then it has never occurred to me not to share the details of who is related to whom on that branch. I've sometimes sent people photos of shared relations or copies of documents but mostly people get a copy of the relevant branch with some notes on it. They can then do as much or as little research to pad it out and fill in background as they have time and inclination to do.

Just knowing the family structure won't tell them the snippets of information I've got. I've three bulging lever arch files on one surname alone.

Sue
x

I was agreeing,,,Sue,,,dont matter what the cost is to you in time and money,you do that for your own personal enjoyment but when you dont want to pass info on then whats is the point of having it on a family history site,,,,,you just might aswell keep it in a drawer,,,if you know what I mean,,,,,,

Hi ya

I also think that sharing is what this site is all about, if a connection is confirmed, no matter who has more info etc!

However, sometime ago I had a connection with a second cousin and even tho' I was a newby and hadnt much on that branch - I opened my tree and asked many times to view her's which she ignored,
since this time I have progressed so much on that branch thanks to another member here as well as my own research and not long ago I had another request from her - quite out of the blue - to view my tree and I ignored it - am now feeling guilty that I was a bit mean - what do you think?

Kaz

I agree with you Kay
i have soo much info and its cost me hundreds on my mums mums side.
but my mums dads side has all been done i have got so much info from a member of gr
he let me have the info right back to the 1700s
and im well grateful for that
surly thats what genes is all about ...
if it wasnt for gr i would still be in limbo
so i will share what i have to whoever needs it and who is in my direct tree.
ive read the 1st post and to me it looks like Brett wants blood b 4 he can let anyone see his tree.
Rosex

Exactly.

I've had such fun meeting distant relations online. Last summer some were in the UK from Texas and popped in for lunch.

I have 4th cousins on my Christmas card list and one who regularly sends me funny snippets.

I've formed some online groups for some rare names in my tree and on one nearly 70 of us are sharing anything we find. Lots of them have made real strides forward with their trees because of it......though not on my own branch yet!

Wonderful things happen when you share. I was tracing details of a probable relation who was transported to Tasmania. I found his trial and newspaper reports then a Tasmanian contact in one of my groups found his criminal record and release papers over there.

If someone else hadn't very kindly shown me the way I would never have found my medieval link. I had nothing of interest to give him. Our shared ancestry was about 250 years ago but he was doing a One Name Study and by letting me see his research he let me zoom back many generations.

Sue
x

to put my tree together

i have worked for 5 years full time

come home and worked

through the night some nights

gone out in rain hail snow and wind

piecing grave stones together

knee deep in brambles

i have had my loft

turned in to a family history suite

travelled to met people

and visit the places

my family once lived

and if Mr or Mrs just starting off

want help they can see all i have

with my best wishes



dont even mention cost

Well said Joy I agree entirely.

Karen x