General Chat

this site is about sharing

some really nice people helped me

when i was a newbie

and i will be grateful to them forever

nobody knows everything not even you

one day their tree might be

bigger and better than yours

and i hope you dont ever ask them for help

your attitude sounds very male to me

us girls share much better than boys

Perhaps it's me but I always let people see my tree if I think there is a connection and then I ask them to let me know if they think we connect, I don't care if people want to copy my tree, I get fed up if they don't have the decency to acknowledge me but I have had some great people send me stuff and it makes up for those who can't be bothered.
I would not put up with insults or upset though sent to me when I have done my best to help
Janet

When I first joined GR about 3 years ago, I was just starting out. I actually joined here for what I thought the main purpose of the site was -- to meet as yet unknown family members.

I met two nearly right off the bat, by searching trees, before I'd put much into my own. They are both people with whom I share a set of grx2 grandparents in England; one of them is in England and one in the US, and I'm in Canada. The one in the US especially has approached this much like me -- looking for family, having been cut off from roots by emigration. Not just looking for names of dead people to put in a tree.

We've exchanged info -- in the case of the cousin in England, it's been pretty much one-way, as far as ancestors go (hello, Brian in Essex!). I've done the same with other distant cousins met since, both here and through Ancestry, e.g.

But in most cases, our interest in contact has been personal rather than academic. We wanted to meet people with whom we share family, to get to know them as much as to exchange historical information.

If that was what your contact had in mind, Prento, I can certainly understand the response. If the person was a newbie like I was -- just kinda thrilled at finding a family member -- that kind of reply would certainly not have been expected, and would have been a little hurtful.

I've become very friendly with several distant cousins met through this research. It's great to have someone to share discoveries and breakthroughs with, whether theirs or mine. It's also just cool to get to know the people who share my ancestors. I would have thought that most people feel that way.

The point is, one person may have done a lot of research on a tree...but if someone else is beginning to research the same family don't they deserve a little help?

It's THEIR family too.

Prento, I'm sure if you hang around long enough, someone else will insult you !!

I would help anyone who had a connection to me -the trouble is I cant find anyone lol!
BUT rudeness is never acceptable at any time !
Angie x

I was contacted by a member of another site who had a boxful of info re a child of my grt grt grandfathers' sisters family, due to the children being split up after death of their mother one had been adopted into a family miles away and the info escaped being thrown out several times. I have had this passed to me also with details of her life and family after adoption.

So thank you to that person and I could have so easily dismissed their request for my info. not realising at first the connection.

Frances

I was contacted through another site I belong to ,a one name study site, by the son of a Canadian Home child.
he saw my reply to one of the postings and thought we had mutual family . His dad is now passed away but he didn't know anything about his family, before he put in Barnardos ,aged 8, other than his parents names his maternal grandfathers name and that he had a sister who was also a home child. His dad had got his Barnardos file and was able to find his sister in Canada but knew nothing about his past..

I was able to confirm the Grandad was my grt grt grandfathers Brother born in the 1850.s and i had extensive history on that side of the family.

I sidetracked onto his family getting his parents marriage cert and his birth cert , his grandparents marriage cert as well.

I added it all the my FTM and backed it all up with copies of the certs ,Census records . parish relief order copy of navy records for the ancestor who joined up aged 12 in 1798 .etc. and sent it all to the son . He was overwhelmed with all the History and only wished his father had still been alive to see his family history.

Didn't cost me much, only a few extra certs, and time in collating it all in addition to what I had got on my FTM. plus the cost of postage to Canada When it was received i was told it was like having a massive Xmas Present they were so overjoyed
It gave me a warm feeling to know i had helped out a family member we still in contact and address ourselves as cousin.
We don't own our ancestors they had other family as well i feel once a cert is bought why not share it ,why pay for another copy when i have it already . i have had others share with me.
However rudeness isn't acceptable but maybe they didn't mean it to sound rude .
Shirley

I have shared information on my tree with someone who has a connection three generations back, simply because going back further we are researching the same branch of family. Since then we have been in constant touch by email and have pooled our resources, so to speak, but getting as much information from sources available to us, collating it, and (finally making connections and working out where families have crossed more than once) added names to both our trees.

In other words, I had contact with this person who only had one name in connection with mine..and me with her. Together we worked on that branch of our trees and between us have confirmed and added several more names over about four generations.

Prento, I agree that is what the site is all about.

We help and share.
I shared my husbands tree with a relative of his on here.
He was the grandson of my mother-in-law.
He then was able to catch up on his tree looking at mine, and rewarded me by finding another TWO GENERATIONS of the tree, taking us into the 18th century..... he didn't have to do that, but he PM'd me and sent me the information.

We all have to give and take.
Good luck with your tree.
Deanna X

I agree there is no excuse for being rude but I don't understand why you were reluctant to share details of your tree. You have a connection so maybe just share that small part of your tree. It seems that because their tree isn't as big or in depth as yours then you are not willing to help them. Maybe they are a beginner. No need to be rude butI can sort of understand how they must feel also.

Karen x

i had alady last week who thought we had conection she let me have alook at her tree,i told her i had,nt added on on mine but had it on paper would give her any information which may help,it dos,nt cost anything to be nice to other people and i always thank people for there help and there time
Dutchxx

There is no excuse for them to be rude to you, but i do understand their probable frustration.
I have made several connections with members on this site and recently one of them (although our connection is only by marriages), opened his tree to me once he obtained who i was enquiring about. Him doing this gave me so much encouragement and added 9 names to my tree....names i would not have known without his help (in turn he also was able to add a few dates and surnames), isnt that what its all about?

Like many who have already answered you I do not put all of my information onto my Genes Tree, but have it on my computer. When contacted by another member, with a genuine link, I will open my tree to them & be more than happy to give them ALL the information I have on that branch/twig.
I have spent a lot of time collecting information, but also the fact that my father was born over 100yrs ago & my mother over 90yrs ago means that I know all the names of their parents/grandparents. I also have photo's of these & some of their siblings.
It is very time/money consuming doing this research, so like to save some of other peoples. Having shared information on these people, there are more of pairs of eyes looking for the earlier people.
Why let the expensive Genealogy sites get paid over & over again for the same information?

When i first started doing my family tree i only had snippits from my mum and dad.Mum had been adopted.Without the help of my cousins who i did not know who they were, i would not know much today.They have shared everything with me.Certs as well.On dads side i have had a couple of members contacting me and although not opening up there tree shared all there information by e-mail.I am very grateful to these members for starting me off.I now share information out with them as i am able to get to records offices where they cant. Annie

When i joined in 2003 all i had was my fathers name [ he left my mam when i was 3yrs old ].
My mam died in 1975 so i could not get any info from her and i had lost contact with mams side .

Without help from a lovely gentleman [ 2nd cousin ]on GR that had already done most of the work on my dads side i would still not have got as far as i have now .

Now that i have got the hang of it , if the member is a relative i will gladly share .

Isn't that one of the things that this site is for or i have got it wrong ?
Why put your tree on here if you don,t want to share info ?

I have people contact me via this site and others and they share information and their tree with me - but I dont look down my nose at them because they dont have all the dates of births, baptisms and marriages etc. Sorry Prento - but that's how your post came across to me. And some people only keep basic information on their trees on sites such as this.

Personally, I am only too pleased to be able to help someone fill in their missing blanks and help point them in the right direction.

Not everyone was born with the gift of genealogy knowledge. Not everyone can afford sites such as Ancestry. Not everyone can afford to buy certificates. Not everyone can get to record offices. If you are lucky enough to do those things - does it really hurt to share?

The idea is to share and
Elaine asked the same questions I would have asked. What if they had info you didn't have, would you have taken it from their tree?

Rudeness is not acceptable and I once had somebody be rude to me because I didn't automatically open my tree to them. I never do. But I always get their e mail address and send them all relevant info. I have recently had contact with somebody who had his parents and Grandmother downwards on his GR tree, he has not been researching very long. I had the tree for his Grandmother going back to 18th century, there was nothing for me on his tree except the knowledge of the link but he gained a tremendous amount from me and he was thrilled. Just the knowledge of his pleasure was reward enough for me.

Likewise I have had help form people with more knowledge than me....swings and roundabouts.
Ann
Glos

I should have said - you don't deserve insulting messages. Have them blocked.
S

Not everyone has the money to spend on their family history. It is entirely your prerogative as to what info. you share but I agree with Dianne - we share family.
S