General Chat

This phrase of Prento's bothered me....

I was reluctant to provide information relating to my ancestors considering the cost and time outlay.

?

my ancestors?

I don't have any ancestors unique to me. My sister shares them all.
My parents were both only children but even they are someone else's cousins.

It's so easy when you've done a lot of research to gleefully hang onto your lovely big tree but all you have actually done is uncovered relationships which exist whether or not you know about them.

A distant cousin is a relation whether you like it or not.

I've spent money on my research (and on lookups for others) but people from all over the world have sent me documents and spent time and energy looking things up for me.

If someone doesn't like sharing then they are quite within their rights to build their tree on their own computer and use the Internet for research but when a site is called Genesreunited it does rather imply that sharing is expected by most members!!

Sue
x

As far as this "being rude" business ...

If I contacted someone who was very plainly related to me (or at least had direct ancestors of mine in his/her tree), and got the response back that s/he was not interested in me because I had no information to give that s/he wanted ...

Well, that is what *I* would call rude. And if that is actually how a contact goes, I can't imagine calling *anything* that a person getting that reply says in response "rude"!

I'd call it a quite natural response to being rudely snubbed for no reason, is what I'd call it.

I do understand what you mean about rudeness but I can honestly say that I have never actually be insulted on this site.

I have, however, received loads of help from people who have been kind enough to point me in the right direction to find things for myself (I am so addicted to the thrill!)

I have met some lovely people who are connected, one or two of whom sent me pictures and now I know who we look like.

In addition I have just met lovely people who chat to me. What a saving grace!

I get really excited when people ask me for help whether it be with the tree or about my area.

I do get disappointed though when I ask for more details to help (I don't keep many details on here) and then they don't get back to me for ages.

Ask for more details about specific connections and then supply the information during the conversations you have. Details are the currency, chatting is the reward I suppose.

Or is that just becasue I Love to talk!?

prento
i do hope you now understand

what our site is all about

PRENTO. Was the insult that their tree didnt have as much info as yours? Maybe they didnt know what info you had. They are probably working hard on their tree to get further. Do u really want to make it even harder for them. Remember what it was like when u first started.

I'm trying to understand how anyone opening their tree expects their new contact to have the same amount of information to share in return.

I have shared huge amounts of information on branches of my tree and been freely given masses of information on others but I can't think of a single case when it's been the same person.

It's swings and roundabouts. I help someone and a different person helps me.

Anyone looking at my tree on GR is only getting very basic information (I only put in place and date of birth) but, if you turn out to be lucky enough to be related to one of the families I know a lot about, I'll send you lots of extra files, photos etc.

It's difficult when reading messages online but this one from Prento reads a bit like "These are my ancestors, I found them, I know a lot about them and you can't share unless you give me something".
The new contact shouldn't have been rude (though may not have intended to sound like that). However it must be frustrating if you think someone has found loads more about your ancestors but isn't going to even give a clue about where to look.

Sue

hello kay hun ((( hugs )))

I agree with you Kay. We all have to start somewhere and we all know it isnt easy. What where the insults he got anyway?

hi ya boro joy,~~~

kay always the wise one xxx


and yes kay is right again

well if thats all what you call an insult,or got,

*what are you doing on GR then*

its not far off from being true,,,,,,peope are much more insulting &rude than that,!

! isnt that right folks,!!

and if you were demeaning to them that their tree wasnt up to your standard of research ,perhaps they are better off to do their own and not bother trying with you, Prento,

When I first started I found tracing my family really hard. A very kind man open his tree for me and sent me loads of stuff in the post. Lots of it being what my family used to do, just daft stuff. He helped me so much. I wish I could be this helpful to someone else. We all try to help, but its personal preference as to what we give to others.

Not read all the threads ...
but if someone could have saved me a few hundred pounds by giving me the info that i needed i would have been well made up.
So aslong as someone has direct line with my family tree then i would be happy to share .
Thats what this site is all about .
As for being rude then that is not on .
Rosex

WELL SAID DONNA XXX




SEE HOW SHARING

WORKED FOR DONNA PRENTO

i know what you mean about doing all that hard work and then someone comes and copies it but..

i think you have to be willing to share to get thurther.
i found a cousin of my partners on genes who he hadnt seen for about 25 years,,, me and my mum arranged to meet her which we did when she saw me and i said her name she flung her arms round me and kissed me on the cheek which was a bit of a shock as i,m not related to her...

we went for a coffee and she had 2 albums of photo,s which she told me who they were one was my partners father wen he was about six grandparents grt grandparents even a picture of my partners fathers brother who died wen he was about 18months old .... my partner didnt know his dad had a brother... then she told me to pick what photo,s i would like to have and she would get them copied for us which she did ..... what made it all the more special was my partner never saw his father he died wen my partners mother was 6and half months pregnant with him...

i,v shared loads of info with her ..
and we know were our daughter gets her looks from she gave us a photo of his grandmother wen she was fourteen and our daugher who,s fourteen now she her double..

you just never know were things can lead

A lot of what is said is true and good advice. But often there are Hot Matches and Tree Matches which don't match.

Recently I was pmed about two families in general, no names and no dates. I replied asking for names and dates, which I didn't get. Only a message saying he had already opened his tree for me. It took me half an hour to sort out who was on his tree and who was on my tree. Our trees did not match. But I would have been saved a lot of time and effort if I had been given a specific reply. I did not open my tree for this person! Nor would I, unless the information is specific.

Having said this, it is wonderful to meet up with long lost relatives, regardless of the information they may or may not have.

Last Rememberance Sunday was approaching and I discovered that a great uncle had been awarded a medal. I was desperate to contact a second cousin. He was her grandfather. I had been trying to contact her for two years. Eventually, on Monday 12th, I found her and told her about the medal. She didn't know about it. But it was great to hear from her and from her part of our family.

Swings and roundabouts! Win some and lose some! And there is never any excuse for rudeness!

i also had a wrong person on my tree

i worked full time for months

on this person

right name wrong person

somebody else pointed this out to me

we investigated together

and became really special friends


so anybody who needs information

from middlesbrough

i will be more than happy to help if i can

and you Kim!
xxxxx

One of the biggest thrills I got was contacting someone on here to tell them that their Grandmother was in my tree, only a side line of my main tree .The place of birth they had was wrong.Their rellies told em I was wrong , but they sent for the birth certificate an the info I gave was correct, it meant they could carry on with their family tree .. I spoke to them on the phone ........ absolutely brilliant !!!!!!!!! i will always be happy to share whatever I find ...
I love this hobby .
:))))))))))) Kim xxx

you got it Joy!!