General Chat

Prento, I have been in a similar situation, but have not been abused about it. I told the lady I am not related to her, but she insisted that I send her my tree as my cousin who was born in 1974 is meant to be her ancestor. So I contacted the GR board and I told them what was going on, and they asked me whether I wanted them to block the sender from passing on any more information to me, which I was grateful for, so I really hope it stops her.

Sue

Maybe he'll be back tomorrow, Up t him at end of day. Hope he takes all comments on board.

I suppose the disappointed new contact may have sent a series of increasingly nasty PMs but I'm not sure about that from reading the message.

Without reading the whole correspondence we have only heard one side of the story and the only message from Prento didn't read as well as was probably meant.

Sue
x

I reread it and Prento sounds like someone who is well used to GR. He/she speaks of having helped loads of others and knowing how it works.

The first comments about someone out of the blue introducing themselves as a relation because of a possible connection with 3x great grandparent seems a bit patronising. The way it was phrased makes it sound as if it was unexpected and unwanted!

I'd guess someone either had a Hot Match or found a name in common on a search and sent a message as GR encourages us to do.

Prento may be bored with the whole idea of distant relations making contact but this might have been that person's first GR connection. I hope it hasn't put them off doing it again.

Sue
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well I hope nobodys seemed to hard with their replies,,,,,,,,, when if they come back to view it,,,but these posts provoke mixed reactions,,,,,,but at the end of the day,,,their dealings with the contact is nothing to do with us ,till they make it public,,,,,
so its a case of write what you will accept what comes,,,,,,,,!))

Thanks Kay Think I might do that!

To be fair Sue this person posted early this morning so might not be around now an hopefully the replies have made them reflect on the whole - omg can't think of the word lol

Kaz :o)))

Looks like Prento doesn't like the replies to his/her post.
S

same here sue,
i have loads of scot certs/census and other stuff.....,but not one real contact...and I often wonder if they somewhere they have wrong line,,not knowing what I know of the family,,,,,,,,,maybe one day,,,,,,,,,,,

Kaz..you could reply but ask where they would like to pick information from/ if you dont want to open your tree give them what info you feel comfortable with via a pm,,,,,,dates names,,,,,,

but sharing to me is the full works,,,,,
certs,etc,,,not just names,but if you dont want that then it can be left to them to get them..........

When I look at my fan chart and see the gaps I wonder if one day someone will pop up on GR who has access to documents I can't get to, or lives in the right area to have studied some of my missing ancestors.

For example maybe one day I'll work out where my Thomas Bothamley came from and perhaps he's the sibling of someone's ancestor and a new contact might give me loads of new branches to make me happy.

I know that somewhere out there I must have some relations connected to one line I know really well. My great grandparents both had lots of siblings and 8 children but no-one else on their lines has contacted me or seems to belong to GR. If and when they do I have several lines to share back to the 1600s.

Sue
x

Well said Joy I agree entirely.

Karen x

to put my tree together

i have worked for 5 years full time

come home and worked

through the night some nights

gone out in rain hail snow and wind

piecing grave stones together

knee deep in brambles

i have had my loft

turned in to a family history suite

travelled to met people

and visit the places

my family once lived

and if Mr or Mrs just starting off

want help they can see all i have

with my best wishes



dont even mention cost

Exactly.

I've had such fun meeting distant relations online. Last summer some were in the UK from Texas and popped in for lunch.

I have 4th cousins on my Christmas card list and one who regularly sends me funny snippets.

I've formed some online groups for some rare names in my tree and on one nearly 70 of us are sharing anything we find. Lots of them have made real strides forward with their trees because of it......though not on my own branch yet!

Wonderful things happen when you share. I was tracing details of a probable relation who was transported to Tasmania. I found his trial and newspaper reports then a Tasmanian contact in one of my groups found his criminal record and release papers over there.

If someone else hadn't very kindly shown me the way I would never have found my medieval link. I had nothing of interest to give him. Our shared ancestry was about 250 years ago but he was doing a One Name Study and by letting me see his research he let me zoom back many generations.

Sue
x

I agree with you Kay
i have soo much info and its cost me hundreds on my mums mums side.
but my mums dads side has all been done i have got so much info from a member of gr
he let me have the info right back to the 1700s
and im well grateful for that
surly thats what genes is all about ...
if it wasnt for gr i would still be in limbo
so i will share what i have to whoever needs it and who is in my direct tree.
ive read the 1st post and to me it looks like Brett wants blood b 4 he can let anyone see his tree.
Rosex

Hi ya

I also think that sharing is what this site is all about, if a connection is confirmed, no matter who has more info etc!

However, sometime ago I had a connection with a second cousin and even tho' I was a newby and hadnt much on that branch - I opened my tree and asked many times to view her's which she ignored,
since this time I have progressed so much on that branch thanks to another member here as well as my own research and not long ago I had another request from her - quite out of the blue - to view my tree and I ignored it - am now feeling guilty that I was a bit mean - what do you think?

Kaz

I was agreeing,,,Sue,,,dont matter what the cost is to you in time and money,you do that for your own personal enjoyment but when you dont want to pass info on then whats is the point of having it on a family history site,,,,,you just might aswell keep it in a drawer,,,if you know what I mean,,,,,,

I'm not quite sure whether you are agreeing or disagreeing with me Kay.

I've no idea how much my tree has cost me to do........it has been far more in time and effort than in actual money.

If someone turns up who is related to a branch I know well then it has never occurred to me not to share the details of who is related to whom on that branch. I've sometimes sent people photos of shared relations or copies of documents but mostly people get a copy of the relevant branch with some notes on it. They can then do as much or as little research to pad it out and fill in background as they have time and inclination to do.

Just knowing the family structure won't tell them the snippets of information I've got. I've three bulging lever arch files on one surname alone.

Sue
x

I think the dead belong to all of us if we are related. We all go to cemeteries, remember dates etc, I would give whatever info i have to a relative if i could help. But we are not all like that. My OH family is from Barbadous and has cost lots of money but i wouldnt hold back if there was a positive link.

Sue.
My oh tree cost in region of 4grand because of complicated and confilcting info and that was phase one of it,,,,,,,,,,would that info be shared including reams of documents,,,,,,yes as much was relevant......(some wouldnt be of intrest or be needed)

I think you need to read Prentos post,,,as I belive his main grip that the contact hadnt much to offer by way of reseach to his own standard,after he viewed their tree......and therefore declined ot offer any from his own........then resulted in him/them being asked why then belong or have your family history on site ........by that I took to mean if no sharing was going to take place,,,,,,
But as Prento hasnt given maybe a full account perhaps messages unknown were passed between contact and them.?

The dead belong to nobody,,,,,,,,,edit,,to mean information on the dead belongs to no one,,its avalible,,,,,,