Genealogy Chat

Hi
I dislike when i spend hours on end emailing certificates, census returns and photos to contacts who have nothing to share, i always live in hope that someone can offer something new, something you never knew, i think thats the downside, i have 5 years of experience, over 70 certificates, 100's of photo's, every census return and etc, so when i help a newbie, many can not help you, but some do not keep in contact once you have nothing else to offer. Upside lately is i'm in contact with a 2nd cousin from Australia who has many stories to tell that i never knew, many of them funny.

Good luck all in your research

Mark

I guess some peeps dont realise how their response might be read. I hate those automatic replys cos they seem rude to me!!

I have had enquirees that arent connected but being of the "OLD SCHOOL" I try to be polite in my response.
Not everyone is the same tho I.m afraid!!

Shirley

As I was allway taught Good Manners Cost nothing, Spelling may be bad but I hope my manners are as good as the day my mother started to teach me, and as I have tried to teach my family.
When I get a contact I try to find as much info as possible then reply. it makes life easier.
I had a very close relly on here our families had not meet for over 15 years, asked her to reply no response got second requst as her to responed again no relpy. deleted all her side of family and my response now os tough.

Whilst I prefer personal responses, I don't mind the auto messages. I'd rather get one of those than nothing at all. It's just when you send a personal contact and all you get back is "nope" (literally) that it makes you wonder why such fools bother to join in the first place.

Like to think my relatives have more manners than that.

hi gerry

i know what you mean i have sent a message three times to someone who is deff related and i didnt get a message back so i wrote a nice letter explainung who i was becouse he has put my mother in laws name on this site ,,, still no reply . if he isnt on genes now it wouldnt have hurt him to send a one line letter saying he,s no longer interested in doing any more research...

i wouldnt mind but he lives in ireland and guess were i,v just been to .... and i got back to1810 without his help so sod him is what i say

Donna

I don't think we should criticise anyone simply for using the auto messages. As others have said before, see them as an opening to start the dialogue rolling.

I have also been in touch with several members who believe that they must first send an auto "Can I see your Tree" message, for the system to work in the first place.

i agree gerry also when you send a message and say i think we may have a conection and they do not read for a while then months later you get a message saying i have shared my tree with nothing about who they are it is very frustrating sometimes lol

jet

A simple honest curteous reply is all we ask for

It makes you wonder why they bother joining in the first place when they are like that. I think you done the right thing Claire.

What also annoys me is where people say they believe they have a connection to your tree and give you details of that one connection. You confirm it and open your tree and ask to see theirs - only to find they keep their 'tree' somewhere else, accessible only to them, and they have just their own name on their GR tree! If I find that when I open my tree to them, then I immediately close it again. On one occasion I was asked why I done this and told them that it was because I believed in sharing information, not just giving it. If they'd had even 5 relatives and I already had them all, at least I could go through and compare but when it is just their name.....what's the point? I've spent years (and a good deal of money) researching my family history, why should I hand it all over on a plate and get nothing to check against in return.

[steps down off high horse ;o) ]

hehe....I'm lost with text speak...I wish phones had good old Pitman's shorthand...then I'd ace it ..LOL
Just goes to show the vast age groups using this great program.

Helen....Don't you mean 'Olds Cool !!!' Hehehe!

Half the time I don't know what they mean when they talk anyway. If they say "It's pukka" doesn't that mean something to do with curling your top lip ready for a kiss?

"Innit" (in my day) meant that the article was inside of something "It's in it", now it (aparently) means 'yes'.

"It's well good" translates into "It's really nice [or] I like it".

"Cool" no longer relates to the temperature, but aparently to wether something is good or bad.

Maybe we should write a dictionary so that we can translate today's 'modern' language into a language us old fogies [the olds] understand!

What's all this about Chav's & Emo's...Isn't an Emo a large bird that can't fly......? Oh dear...I'm showing my age ;o) <--- er....that's a smilie for anyone who doesn't know !

Gerry,
I'm the same as you, I alwasy say that I think there might be a connection and give some basic details, but i never give them access to my tree straight away. It is frustrating when you get just a yes or no answer but I always reply to any answers I get with a message of good luck with their research.
On the subject of Text messages, my daughters get frustrated with me when I text them in full sentences and puctuation. I suppose it's because we are old school.

Helen

I'm with you Evelyn.... even if there is no link I like to try and remember my manners and thank people for replying, have had a few abrupt replys myself .....not very nice

Peter-
The expession you're looking for is 'open questions' - means a question that reqires more than 'yes' or 'no', which is a 'closed question'.

(I'm not trying to be a 'clever clogs', but I know I HATE it when I can't think of the right word or expession. So I thought I'd put you out of your misery!)

Bee.

Not about texting but in reply to very first message.

If I don't get a reply I wonder if that person has died or is seriously ill or in hospital. Once I didn't get a reply to an email. I just hope it's not because of these reasons I've said.

Writing a longer response shows you care and are interested. I agree its about good manners.

Hi Gerry, in response to your 'text paragraph'. There was a job advertisement in a newspaper once on the same lines and the paragraph said 'if you can read this sentence you can become a secretary and get a good job'. I think it's the modern day equivalent of short hand or speed writing.

I too write text messages out in full as it gives me eye strain to read some of the things my children send me. Only last week my friend sent me 'K 4.5'
Err ?
Joan

I think the problem with Genes Reunited is that you have such a mixed rag bag of researchers on here. In fact some can hardly be described as researchers at all.

There are some serious family historians on here who share info and perhaps try to correct any dodgy research they see in other's information. But the contacts won't always welcome this constructive criticism! ;-)

Then you have some users on here who were obviously bored one rainy Sunday afternoon and put a few relatives online and then promptly lost interest after a fortnight. I suspect most of the ones who reply: "Nope" or "Yep" might fall into this category.

It really is an assorted mix of people on here and you just have to hope you find a solid gold serious researcher rather than a bored rainy day Sunday one!

Chin up Folks - we all come across the bad mannered contacts from time to time but there are excellent ones too!

Cheers, Horatia

LOL!!!!LOL!!!! and that's laugh out loud!! for all you non texting punctuation pepes ;))))

My friend thought it was lots of love!!

Lol Lol xx

Glad my little quip made you laugh Fiona :o)

I'm the same with text messages, I use punctuation and full words, unless I am texting a very long message to someone whom I know will understand and I want to get everything in one message rather than two.

For those who use text speak, the above message reads:

Gld my ltl qp md u laf Fi Im sam wi txt msg I us pnctn & fl wds les Im txg lng msg 2 sum1 I no wl udsd & I wnt 2 gt evretng in 1 msg rtr tn 2.

(God, that takes longer to think about and write than it does to just type it all out in full!!!).

Gerry
;o)

Hi Gerry
You made me laugh my advice to you is that if that is what you feel like writing then do it get it off your chest
some people are just plain rude so dont feel bad about sending messages like the one you composed and if you dont mind im going to take it and use it when i feel its necessary which up to date i may have used it once which is fairly good as i usually email up to 40 people a day on this site who have possible conections
good luck anyway thanks for making me laugh today
Fi