Genealogy Chat

I had a message saying that I had ' lots of my relations on my family tree'.

Where did the message originate? And what is your question? Reg

Yes I do. But have sent a number of mesages and had no answer! It sounds like an accusation, but I have given the relationship and am confident that everyone is a relation, I have said they we must be related and asked what relationship they have. But no reply. I wonder why some people are paying to be hee if they don't actually foollow up on messages. It's not the first time. I had someone contact me who I could have really helped, but they just wanted me to give them my tree. When I wanted more information about their connection they backed off! I know I could have helped, but they seemed so wary. Such a shame! It wasn't as if it would have been that interesting to me!! Sometimes I feel that people are too scared to even get in touch due to scare stories on here.

Not getting answers to your messages could be attributed to many things............holidays, illness, computer problems, lapsed GR membership, even, as in one recent sad case, the death of the GR member. Also, not all members are avid researchers......some only look at GR once in a blue moon.........so, don't give up hope! Reg

Sorry - you are right. But it is so frustrating to get a message like that - and no response! If I sent a message to some one saying that she had a lot of my relations in her tree I think I would be interested in the resaon! And it isn't as though I am a name gatherer. They are all 'mine' as well as hers.Surely that is the point of the membership. When I first started I did find it a bit strange that other people had the same rights to my ancestors as I did. Did others feel the same? I just felt it a bit strange getting a message that seemed to accuse me of having her family when that is the point of this site! You would think they would be pleased! Hey Ho there's now't so strange s folks!!!

Hi Patrina, Hope it wasn't me, I found a hot match with all my family names on it, with me as Christina, (which I am not) and I wondered who they were ! I have had no replies from this person, just cryptic messages about my tree, with lots of missing information, I would be only too happy to fill them in, if I knew who they were. Chris.

n

Hi Chris - no I don't think it was you :) I'm sure my messages weren't cryptic and hope they didn't sound strange to someone else. I gave details of my connection and where the information came from. Offered to put her in touch with the originator as he had only given me details on MY family (quite correctly) and I thought he may have more for her. Then I said that if we shared so many of the same rellies we must be related. It's just a bit of a let down not hearing any more! You must be wondering how you ended up on someone elses tree! Spooky feeling! If it was mine I would want to make contact and see what the connection was.

I've been getting replies to messages i've never sent!!!

You have the right idea, Petrina, in not making your tree available for the asking. I've had many requests to see my tree but I always ask if there's anything specific to justify a looksee. And, as in your case, that seems to be the end of it. Actually I suspect that many members collect 'tree growth' in the same way that some people collect train numbers. K

Hi Petrina, it can be frustrating when people do not respond, however I find it a bit frustrating when people send messages with very little to go on and want to see my tree. I make it a habit that when hot matches comes through I look at them and if they seem like they could be a match I send a mesage I always eplain that Hot Matches has matched a person in our trees I then explain the person whom has been matched (I only beleive the first person in the list Hot Matches seems to do some weird things and throws up people that may not be in the others persons tree, although this may be fixed now) I provide information like parents, spouse etc that could be used to see if it is indeed a match I then ask if this is a match and if so could we share information I have found that in 99% of the cases peope do respond to me, On your first question I personally like Genes for a few reasons Cost Ease of use the Hot Matches function Over the last few years I have mad contacts with over twenty cousins in Australia and England Bruce, Down Under

Hi Petrina, I had one man ask to see my tree as he had a connection, when I gave him permission, I looked at his tree then couldn't find the ancestor, so asked him where she was, He said ' oh she's not in my tree, I just like collecting names' when you think about it you can put anyone's name in the bar at the top and it will tell you who has that person in their tree !! couldn't be bothered myself, but some people just like adding names, he had over 1,000 but they arn't his at all. . and the one with the cryptic messages never replies now, so I still don't know who they are, instead of a name they have a number, strange.Chris.

Hi Kenneth Thankyou. Like Claire I ignore those 'let me see your tree' messages I find them really offensive and would NEVER just send that out. These days I like to be sure that there is a genuine connection and then exchange info through email, sometimes sending a Gedcom or scans of interesting material. And I have had some wonderful things back too. If anyone thought that I have data in my tree that shouldn't be there, I would be happy to remove it. Hopefully I don't, but you never know what might have crept in early on I supppose.

Hi Bruce - yes I have found this site really useful too and had a lot of contacts through it. Another one I have just joined is worth promoting and does 'hot matches' much better is Gen Circle. Well worth a look.

Beve - it must be your new look - they don't recognise you!! LOL Actually - that's a bit worrying. Maybe you are getting mine? I suppose it's very possible for things to go astray sometimes.

N

Have to agree with you Petrina with some aspects of what you say, I've had two close connections in the past couple of weeks but one of them now seems to have disappeared. What a shame. Still, it is the holiday season and if they don't get back it's their loss. They did provide me with a great piece of missing info so I suppose it's swings and roundabouts really. Barbara

I personally would NEVER divulge my tree details to anyone without being convinced of a connection and even then, only on the promise of NOT disclosing it to another person. Anyone who gets a request to 'view' their tree, should ALWAYS ask the question of the other person, 'How do you think,or know that you may be connected to my tree'? If their answer doesn't 'click' then politely tell them there is NO connection. It is naive to get a request and then give your details to a stranger, who may be 'trawling' for personal details, in order to build a profile on anyone, in order to use YOUR identity to gain credit at YOUR expense. Be wise,not stupid,just replying to these messages, means the person has already gained a degree of YOUR confidence,your email address is just as valuable a piece of information as your family history. Sorry to leave a message like this, but we live in a different world than we used. At one time, you could leave your door open, knowing it was safe,sadly it is no longer the case,is it.

I pm'd someone the other day who had my great grandfather in their tree, They came up in my hotmatches. I asked what details they had about him and they replied they only knew who his parents were and nothing more. They then gave me access to their tree. I was astounded to see that they had over 33,000 people in thier tree, yes over 33,000!! I couldnt for the life of me work out how he was connected to me. We didnt share the same name and his name does not appear in 2 extensive trees of 2 surnames related to me that I know are definitely related to me and go back to 1500's etc. I then sent another message asking for a description in words explaining the connection. I have heard nothing since. I have not shared the limited tree i have on here with the person concerned. Fi

Futher to what micheal has said about id theft... You should also be aware that fraudsters do not just build a profile just to obtain credit. They also build profiles so as to gather information to raid your bank accounts, credit cards or what ever they can get their hands on. Opening your family tree to complete strangers.. gives them exactly what they need.. mothers maiden name date of birth etc... Julie