Genealogy Chat

My mother passed away peacefully a couple of days ago aged 88. During the last couple of years whilst I have been researching my family history it has taught me one thing - that people are born, marry, have families and die, but after they go life goes on after them. Their children have their own families and the generations carry on after them. In a strange way, this has given me a bit of comfort. I hope that other people who have been bereaved may find comfort in the same way.

Hi Angela Sorry to hear of your loss. Hope you're bearing up ok. I understand what you're saying, even though I'm lucky enough to still have my parents at the moment. I shall remember your words of wisdom when I'm in your position Lou

Thank you so much, Lou. I am not too good at all this emotional stuff and tend to dissolve into a blubbering heap at the slightest provocation (births, weddings, funerals, cuddly puppies, etc.). It is wonderful to have the support of other GR members.

Sorry to hear of your loss, Angela. That's one of the things I love about genealogy though, an ancestor found is an ancestor not forgotten - even if I am totally frustrated about being unable to find out who my dad's father was, it means he is constantly in my thoughts. Granny could certainly spin a yarn lol. I regard it as akin to ancestor worship!!! maggie

Hi Angela, I am sorry to hear of your loss, my thoughts are with you at this sad time. I agree with what you are saying, time stops for no man. Sue.

Thank you all - It is so nice to have your messages of support. I have not found the last couple of days too easy but am feeling a bit better already.

Angela I am so glad your mum passed away peacefully. But she lives on in your memory and your DNA. Family history is great for a sense of continuity. It's interesting to see how my life is at once so different and yet so like that of my great-great grandmothers! nell

Hi Angela. So sorry to her about your Mum. It does get easier with time. Honest. Linda x

So sorry to hear about your mother Angela. I couldn't agree more, about how much comfort you can get. I didn't know any of my grandparents (they died before I was born) and it wasn't until just before my mother died that I found that both of my grandmothers were buried in the local cemetery. Our family hadn't been ones to go visiting graves, but I can't tell you how it makes me feel now to visit their graves when I go to visit my mother's. I take flowers and it makes me feel that I really did have grandparents after all, and since finding them and their ancestors whilst doing my family history, it makes me feel as if I really 'know' them. Take care of yourself. Kath. x

Angela I totally agree and can understand where you are coming from. My Mum died suddenly and unexpectly in June of this year and going through her personal stuff I found my grandparents marriage certs and their own parents death certs. This got me thinking and led me to this site. I have found so many great great relatives and traced back into the 1700's - what a great site and one that has given me comfort and knowledge into where I come from and the people who brought us into the world and an insight into the lives they led. It also stopped me from cracking up, Thank you GR and take care Angela I owe GR so much

How lovely to have so many wonderful messages from other GR members and friends. Whilst sorting through my mum's papers over the last couple of days I have found some lovely old photographs from about 1910-1920 of my grandparents when they were young. I hadn't seen any of the photos before and found them so interesting. I showed them to one of my friends who said that my grandfather's eyes were exactly the same as mine (and it is probably him that I inherited my terrible eyesight from as throughout his life he was wearing little round glasses!!). Glad to know that something was passed on to me. Pity it couldn't be something more useful than long-sightedness!!!

Dear Angela, You are in my thoughts and prayers. Sorry about your Mum. You made me laugh when you talked about the eyesight. After our parents died we laughed at the fact that there was no money but I got the bad back one brother got the stomach problems and the other got the bunions! Take care Jackie

Isn't inheritance a wonderful thing? I hope you weren't left all those things in their wills!!

Sorry to hear of your loss Angela. I do agree about the continuity. It's as if we have been handed the baton to carry and pass on to the next generation. All those who have gone before are remembered as we find out more about them. Take care. Gwyn

Julie, I'm sure this wonderful poem will help Angela. I know I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face. It's beautiful. Kath. x

I think looking back at family history - (althought i havent lost either of my parents yet, i know the day is 'not too far') - i have looked and thought about where people lived and how they might have survived despite what life has thrown at them. You look and you see that perhaps your grandparents (or you parents even) lost children at a young age and I've certainly wondered how they 'coped'. I was fortunate to know 3 of my 4 grandparents, both of whom lost children in their infancy, which must have been very hard. My parents, of course, have lost both their parents and despite the saddness of the 'happening' have lived on through the experience and survived with dignity and courage. When i lost my brother , which broke all our hearts (it wasn't fair) and thought that my dad would never recover from the heartache- i'm sure it still hurts him BUT , he came through , as i am sure you will, in time, with memories that keep you going, stored both in your minds eye and your heart. Yes, seeing that it has all happened before and that people do survive despite the sadness does help. Take time to do what you need to do. Jess x

This is maybe slightly off the topic but I seem to find that I talk about ancestors that I discover as if they're still living, I always tend to mention them in the present tense! On another note, I lost my dad last year and it's only since his death that I've found out anything about his side of the family. It was actually a relative at the funeral that said he had loads. Maybe finding out where he 'came from' in terms of blood lines made it slightly easier to deal with him... going back there??! Jo

Hi just been reading the thread and thought i would leave a message. I only started looking at my family tree as my father before he died two years ago wanted us to see if we could locate his family with whom he had lost contact with many years before. As my dad who died after a short illness due to terminal cancer passed away quickly it went out of my mind but i though at some point i would. Well i am glad to say i did and through doing it have found his longed for family in Scotland, Australia and America. It is a shame he didnt live to speak to them but his life to me goes on in them. Death is nothing at all I have slipped away into the next room I am i and you are you Whatever we were to each other we are still Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used to Put no difference in your tone, wear no false air of solemnity or sorrow Laugh as we always laughed together at little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me Let my name be the household word that it always was Let it be spoken without effort, without the ghost of shadow on it Life means all that it ever meant It is the same as it ever was, there is absolutely unbroken continuity What is death but a negligible accident Why should i be out of mind because i am out of sight I am waiting for an interval, somewhere very near, Just around the corner All is well Nothing is past, nothing is lost, One brief moment and all will be as it was before. He gave me this before he died. He told me to think about the words. Lynda

Sorry to have been out of touch for a little while - Thank you all so much for your lovely messages and poems. My boys will be reading some poems at the funeral on Monday. I never expected to have such a huge response from people. You are all so very, very kind. I feel as if we are all not just members of GR, but friends.

Dear Angela, Sorry been away from computer. Now that would've been funny if my parents had bequeathed the bunions etc in their wills! That would make a good comedy sketch. I wish you all strength you and your family need for monday. x Jackie