Genealogy Chat

No family's perfect-Mine included. I suspect a huge Skeleton in my family. cupboard. That's why it's good to tell people the truth as it tears families apart going generations back. Here's mine. My granmother died around 1968 never telling my mother (even on her death bed) who her father was. My mother was born in 1929.(sadly she passed away 9 years ago) It turns out that my granmother slept with her sisters husband and got pregnant with my mum. We have no proof of this apart from a picture of the guy in question, who looks very much like my mum.It's eeerie. So this caused a huge rift, resulting in us never seeing that part of the family again. The worst thing is someone from that part of the family contacted me a few years ago, through this site, then when she realised who I was and must of told some of the rellies still alive, all communication went out of the window very suddenly. You see so the stigma goes on. Would be interesting to hear of any other skeletons!!!!!!!! Catherine

It's very sad that you may be being held responsible for the actions of your grandmother......hardly your fault! Maybe they think you will rush to steal another husband? I don't think I have a skeleton like that one, but...... My gran probably spent almost her entire adult life waiting to spot her first husband in the street (or wherever).....and have to explain who he was to her second hubby, who she married as ''Condition, spinster''. It would seem that she didn't know the first marriage was bigamous (and could have been officially made void) as hubby No. 1 was already married. She also didn't know that after she and hubby 1 split up, he was killed in WW1 under an assumed name. So she spent from 1917-1985 waiting to be caught out. If only she had known this man was dead, my gran's immediate family wouldn't have been subjected to her tempers, tantrums and depressions, which (we think) mainly stemmed from the stress of waiting to have that ''tap on the shoulder''............................. Merry

Well, I've recently found a very nice skeleton in our ancestral cupboard. My grandfather never mentioned anything to my mum about him having a half sister from his father's first marriage - even though they lived in the same area. It was quite a shock to all of us when I first discovered her aged 2 on the 1901 census with my grt grandfather! I have since traced her daughter - so she is my mum's first cousin! They have never met - but we are all getting together this weekend and I am pleased to say that she is as excited as we are! Skeletons are not always scary, after all LOL Leah

Hi Merry That's very sad waiting all those years. Poor woman. Lol I agree so skeletons can turn out to be nice ones. Good luck for the weekend. Catherine

My auntie was born in 1938, her mum (my gran) didn't marry the father until June the following year, probably because he didn't manage to get himself a divorce in time! Gran claimed that 'they must have made a mistake on the certificate' as long as she lived! Lisa

I discovered through the census' and marriage index that my maternal great grandparents were never married to each other, despite having three children together. In fact, my great grandfather was actually married to someone else. Obviously the marriage had not worked out for whatever reason?? and they went their separate ways. The he met my great gran and set up home together. I don't think even mum or her sisters (all now deceased) were ever aware of this one, obviously a great and scandalous stigma, especially to the children concerned. I imagine that's why it was all swept under the carpet. When ggrandfather died aged 33...........his legal wife up and remarried almost before he was burried!!!!!!! LinXX ,

My mothers Grandfather died- his wife is informant on the death cert. GOT THE CERT Son born 4 years later, the same man named as father (long confinement then?)GOT THE CERT The son only died earlier this year , in his 80's and was of very sound mind. My dad kind of broached the subject with him, not long before he died- and got the reply '' Tell her not to be so Bl**dy daft, how can i have been born 4 years after my father died!'' dad replied with a chuckle ''I'll tell her'' Jess x

My great grandfather!!! Since 1918 the family has been told by his wife ( who never married him!! ) that he had been killed in the first world war. His son ( my grandad ) lived for 60 odd years believing that his father had died when he was only a baby - not the case he was still alive in 1921 when he demobbed from the Royal Navy! Still haven't found out what happened after 1921, perhaps he had another family along and that is why he didn't have any contact with his son and why it was better that his own son was led to believe he had died a hero in WW1. Still my father and his sister are not happy that their grandmother made up a big fat lie and can't believe that after all these years the grandfather they never knew could have been just around the corner Joanne

My Australian grandfather possessed a desertion gene ... Obviously married his 1st wife because she was pregnant (married July 1905, baby born November 1905 but never ever lived with them, then deserted them, which meant he was a wanted man in Oz. His wife divorced him in 1911 but he didn't know that - divorce papers were interesting reading! He joined the Australian army in 1915 and, as a result of injury on the Somme, ended up in England where he somehow met my Welsh gran. He returned to his regiment but deserted due to being unable to face going back to the front (not surprised!!!) and hid in Wales, used his sister's married surname (Smith) and pretended to be 10 years older than he was. When he got wind of the Oz army catching up with him, he joined the English army under his pretend name and married my gran under his real name but with the wrong age on the certificate (remember he didn't know he was divorced!). This info is all from his military record! They had children but he deserted all of them in the 1930s, ostensibly to return to Australia, but he couldn't do that because he was (he believed) a wanted man! Last known address (from his military record) is Leicester in 1948 - the pensions agency wrote to the Oz military for confirmation of his DOB as he wanted to draw his pension when he reached 65 and had no documentation to prove his age. I don't believe my grandparents divorced, but my mother believes that my grandfather had another family elsewhere in the UK. I haven't yet found a death for him, so have no idea what happened after 1948.

Whilst researching my husband's family, I found out that his 'cousin' was actually his brother and because of too many children in one family and the other couple being unable to have any, one of his brothers had been given away to his mum's brother! He had known and other members of the family had known for ever, but had all kept silent. Only the actual brothers and sisters didn't know. Also on t'other side of family, his grandfather had been married twice, so his dad who is no longer alive, had a half brother he never knew about. My family skeleton was never hidden. My grandmother ran off with the landlord who was a lord! She moved from a little cottage in Sussex to a castle in Scotland.Have traced and confirmed it all, and even spoken with her daughter. Life is far more interesting than fiction!

I have had the same as Catherine, I have contacted members on here and know they are related but as soon as they find out I'm related to my grandma they just ignore me. OK I have never met her as my mum and her do not get on as she was not that that great a peron but still I don't understand why people ignore me because of her~ very irritating. Zoe

Skeleton 1. Grandmothers first son was result of an affair with brother in law. Skeleton 2. Dad had a twin brother who 'disappeared' Skeleton 3. Dad's brother had a twin brother who 'disappeared' (and resurfaced 60-odd years later) Skeleton 4. Great great grandad had 4 kids with his niece Skeleton 5. Great uncle was a gun-runner in North Africa Skeleton 6. Great great aunt had 2 kids (probably with lodger......!) and gave them husbands name even though he was dead! (SNAP, Jess!) Skeleton 7, 8, 9, 10 ..................etc etc etc One family, over 4 generations have barely managed a single truthful word on any BMD certs! Bev x

Oh Bev that's awful. Children with his neice? Thought mine was bad.

It is a bit gross, Catherine! I was horrified at first, but now I've got used to it. I just can't imagine how he got away with it, in a small place, with family around ......! Bev x

Quite a long time after my gg grandfather was widowed, he seems to have married his own nephew's widow. Not too sure whether that was legal or not. She was 21 years younger than him and they went on to have two children.

Smily Sam, I have just finished reading''Cider With Rosie'' by Laurie Lee, for the ''100th time''. This was one of my O level English books and I remember I hated it when aged 16 and probably never read it to the end.......anyway, it's a great read for getting the feel of village life for a child in WW1 and after....... In it he describes how there was a brother and sister in the village who had children together......they lived just outside in a fairly isolated farm house.....they were tollerated in the community (the children attended the village school with Laurie), but they were not talked about!! However, as a child himself, he was aware of the ''situation''. My 3xg-grandfather married his late wife's niece. This was legalised in the 1931, but his marriage was in 1804!! LOL Merry

Oh, that's similar to another one of my 'skeletons'...my 3xG-Grandmother 'married' her late husband's nephew and had several children with him. Because they both had the same surname, I guess they never felt it necessary to legalise the marriage - have never found an entry for them anyway. She was ten years his senior and already had a house-full of kids from her husband. It's possible that the 'union' was arranged in order to prevent her and the children ending up in the workhouse - either that or they both had a secret passion for each other LOL . They got together pretty quickly after her hubby died! Leah

this thread is wonderful!!!! more please.!!

We recently found out that my great grandmother was 25 years younger than her husband, marrying him at just 16 to his 41. My gg aunt went to an 'industrial' home at 15, causing suspicion that she had a child. We also found out that my other great grandmother had two half siblings, one of which died at 16, thinking they were her 'proper' brother and sister.

Hi Catherine, my husband gran was Rose Wills, when we got her birth certificate she was two years older then she had stated and her real name was Otto Rose Wirth. Mr Otto Wirth named as father and her real father Mr Wills had died two years before she was born. I couldn't believe someone would give a little girl a mans name, when Mr Wirth didn't return she was then called Rose Wills same as mum.!!!