Genealogy Chat

Hi Ted, I've been fortunate in finding several of my closer relatives from my own branch of my father's family, and they've all been very happy to talk to me, send me photos and tell me things, even though we've never met. Other branches of the same family I've contacted have, initially, been very polite and shown interest in researching the entire family, not just their own branches, so I've given them my information. Unfortunately, they've not told me much at all. That could be because they don't know, of course, but I suspect in one case it's a matter of not wanting to associate with the 'lower orders'. We DO all have the same ancestors, but I'm not going to chase people. If they don't want to know, I respect their decision. Still very irritating though! I wish you better luck with future research. CB >|<

Valerie, hi sometimes I dont have a bath for 18 months, I remember that because I look at the calander in the kitchen and I mark up the day and the year that I need to change my underpants, and if I remember rightly I changed them 9 months ago, so its definitely OCT next when im due for a new pair and a bath, but sometimes I leave them on when I jump in the bath, just to save electricity by not having to run the washer dryer. NAW im only kidding you, its 16 months not 18 months that would be aweful wearing underpants that long without a wash. SMELLY TED XXXXX

Heather Top of the christmas tree is a doddle. If you can cope with a red tinsel g-string, you can cope with anything! Tina (wondering whether to become a nun again)

I traced and wrote to my great grandmother's youngest sister's son in Finchley and I told him who I am. I wrote to him because I am trying to find out if he knows anything about my great gran's eldest son by her 1st marriage born in 1915, to see if he is still alive, or if he had any children, but he never responded to my letter. I was quite dissappointed. Ben

Last September I was very excited to find my first living relative! Her Grandfather was my Grandfather's older brother. I checked the address was current with Directory Enquiries and posted off a short letter introducing myself and enclosing a SAE. My Mum was an only child and her father (my Grandfather) died when she was a baby. My Gran had never liked his family and after his death ceased all contact with them. Thus my Mum grew up never knowing any of them. My Mum has been dead now nearly 40 years and my Gran nearly 20 years, so there is no one for me to ask. I was so disapointed not to get a reply, she could have been so helpful filling in all the blanks. Hopefully I will eventually track down m oreliving relatives! I asked elsewhere on the site for tips for future reference - and at the risk of repeating myself all advice is very welcome!

I recently had a hot match with one of my names - admitedly not a close relative but quite an unusual surname in small gloucestershire town so i was quite excited. i got in touch and received a reply that he could not see how we could possibly be related and he had lost interest in family history a couple of years ago. Why do people join Genes connected?

Hey Perhaps worse is finding rellies who take all you can give and offer nothing in return. Someone who shares a GGGF with me got in touch, I supplied several generations of information and asked for an update on her line -since then, not a dicky bird! Happy hunting anyway. Cliff

Hi Ted, Don't do the inheritance threat. I'm sure it was said in jest but if not it would take your emotions from disappointment to anger and frustration. As others have said, it doesn't always work out. At times, life sucks. I think you have to put yourself into the place of the other person(s). You may well have arrived into their lives (knowledge of your existence) out of the blue. Their initial response total denial but tied up with a need to know a little about you, 'the great pretender'. Then there's the realization that mum and dad have lived a lie; not just them but all the other family members that would have been in the know. Surely not their mum and dad, they could not do that to them. I'm not a psychologist (not sure I can even spell it) but this is one of the reasons why people seeking their parents who have been adopted often have counseling prior to any information being released through Social Services or the Adoption Agency (whoever was responsible for the adoption). This can be of limited value but can prepare both you and your family for the moment of truth, your existence, your wishing to meet them. They will help in any way they can to ensure a positive first contact Other than that all I heard is 'Cannot divulge further information due to the Data Protection Act' Write another letter, email if you don't have the address. Place no pressure on them. Give them time to come to terms with the reality of the situation. Should they never respond, then you have done your bit and as others have said “their loss”. Never again will they be in a position to deny your existence and rightful place in the family. I wish you every success, but some wounds take longer to heal than others. Be patient. Cheers Paul

What have you started Ted? I think this could turn into one of those War & Peace threads! It has got me thinking though. I had a trivial dispute with my brother ten years ago, I have held the olive branch out several times but he refuses to move on. It saddens me as we were so close as kids. However I have decided to add a written account of this and another little family secret which I can not divulge as it would hurt too many living people. I will seal this in an envelope not to be opened until after my death and store it with my family tree info. At least future generations will know what happened. Apologies from going off topic a little, just thought I would share my brainwave!!

Tina, wearing a G STRING on top of the tree. Im goona dream about this for the next 20 years. Better go and have a very very cold shower. EDDIE XXX

I posted recently about not getting a reply from the first living relative I found and my disapointment. I have now found another and before I write I could really do with some tips as I don't want another disapointment. Please help!! Thanks Lyndsey

I found a box of old family photographs in the loft dating back to the 1930s and beyond. Nothing to do with my family at all but I went to a lot of trouble in tracing a descendant living many miles away. She sounded delighted.I had arranged to drive up and hand them over when I got a phone call saying her brother was furious and ordered her not to have anything to do with me. All I wanted to do was return her property!