Genealogy Chat

I've been today to see the grave of my great grandparents, I've become very attached toThomas and Sarah and it was really emotional standing at their final resting place.they have no headstone which upset me,no one knows that they lie there. The highs and lows of genealogy :(

On Mothers Day my son took me out for a little ride round ancestors village - wed hoped to see GGFx3 cottage as in 1861 census, but the numbers have all been changed, so though we knew one of those were his .......... We went to the churchyard for a mooch and there were lots of middle aged women putting flowers on their mums graves. Made me sad, I lost mum 17 years ago but she was cremated. Then we went to the next village church and I went up and hugged the headstone of my GGMx4 - Elizabeth (I am very attached to Liz and husband Ed, though they are giving me my biggest brick wall). So in a way it was sad, but it was also very comforting.

I think it is surprising just how much we can come to know our ancestors - and feel for them. I simply started looking for and recording the names of my direct descendents and have ended up looking for army service records 170 years old, buildings which have long since disappeared and villages which seem to have travelled to opposite ends of the country! The feeling you get for researching your ancestors, how they lived, survived and died is amazing. It also puts your own mortality in perspective. Good luck to all. Trudi

Hi Linda, I know exactly what you mean, I found one of my great grandmothers graves, also unmarked and it is very emotional standing there. The sexton of the cemetery said I was more than welcome to lay flowers and put a small plaque with her name on, he hated seeing the graves unmarked! ( although the plot was clearly not purchased by family, he said he would turn a 'blind eye') bless him, so I did, it is comforting to think that after 70 years her place of rest is marked now. Lisa

some of my rellies are buried in the church on the way to the kids school, we all pop in if we are running early in the morning just to say hi, its nice to teach the children to respect the graves and talk about who they are are and when ive gone hopefully they will keep on popping in just to say hi

I'm going to have to go back and put something on there with their names on, can't stand the thought of them being unmarked. I know 'we' own the plot as my Dad has the deeds for it, so hopefully shouldn't be any problem

you can buy the pots for flowers that you put on for a couple of quid and then print their details out and laminate them and stick them together cheap and removable if anyone makes a fuss....in out churchyard we cant do anything without consent then they charge you for putting just a pot on...

I know exactly how you feel. In fact I visited my Great Grandfather's grave this weekend. He also has no headstone. My favourite deceased grandparent of the Great kind. Fi

I felt like this yesterday when I found a grave with 5 siblings that had all died within a few weeks of each other. They did have a headstone, although very old & worn. I can only assume that the parish or some kind person paid for the headstone. I have lots of unmarked ones. When I win the lottery I will buy them all a brand spanking new headstone. :-)

ooh ang what a lovely thought! I've only just started on the finding graves bit, I wonder how many more I will find unmarked? might need a very big win!

I too have become very attached to my long gone & now remebered reli's. I don't call them my great wotever just by their 1 st names to me it makes it more personal. I got so excited when I visited my local graveyard & saw the huge stone erected for my reli's. To begin with there was a raised grave with my my ggg grandmother Rebecca, a small boy who died at 8 months (as yet unplaced on my tree). Then on top a huge memorial to 2 men in the family (Rebecca's grandchildren) who were lost on the Titanic. On the memorial underneath & obv in the grave were there parents. We had always known about the memorial but to find 4 actually buried under it was amazing. Across the path we found my gg grandfather Enoch & his wife Phoebe's raised grave..... I'm not sure how they afforded the gravestones/graves as they were miners who had little money but I'm glad they did, now when we do the family flowers at xmas there are 2 graves extra to do.

Linda I know exactly how you feel, i found my G grandmothers grave last year she is buried with her youngest son, although there was a head stone it was in a poor neglected state as was the ground around it, it's sad to realise that they have not been visited and the stone/ground not tended to for years..... Lib

I know how you feel, my great granddad son of a miner worked very hard at 22 years married a woman with 3 children to her first husband and by the time he was 25 years old he had his own shop plus owned half the street that he lived in he died at the age of 33 and his wife married again, she is buried with her first husband, her third hubby is buried with her mother and my great granddad is in a grave with nothing to mark the spot? The guy at the cemetery had to measure out the ground for me to show me where he was buried, it upset me to the point that I have paid for a headstone for him. Roy

aww Roy that's lovely! I am in tears now! what a big softie I am. Thomas and Sarah's plot is just grass, there are stones either side but are very neglected and one is all broken up, I don't know which is worse nothing or very neglected

Linda, if I were you Id have a word with the Church Warden first and sound him/her out. Most people would be more than happy to let you put in a little ground plaque or something but may get uptight if you do it without first consulting them. Hubby offered to pay for one of my lots headstones to be repaired - theres about a third of it in the ground and the rest laying against the church wall, just waiting to be stolen - its nicely carved and has a beautiful personal legend on it saying what a good guy he was and how everyone loved him. (1825) Well we first approached church warden at Christmas about this and although I am on quite friendly terms with her through my genealogy stuff, she still hasnt managed to get an answer for us. The new vicar said he didnt know if it could be allowed and said he would pass it on for more info. I wouldnt even mind if it could be laid down on top of the grave and then joined up if they are worried about it falling. (Its right next to the church path and seems obvious to me that a big mower must have crashed into it some time back)

Hi, How do you go about finding an unmarked grave? Meryl

I found my unmarked grave because we have the deeds to the plot which gave us the division number, section number and grave number. the groundsman had a map of the whole cemetery and all the graves with names on.I knew the place was huge but he informed me today 39 acres! Heather I am not sure who I would ask, the cemetery is now closed to new burials, and the chapel in the grounds doesn't look like it has been used for years. I had to contact them through the local crem which now deals with all the enquiries for the cemetery

Hi Meryl I contacted the sexton of the cemetery, he had all the details of every plot, marked or not and by the row and number worked out for me exactly where my rellies are. The cemetery is very old and his records go way back so is certainly worth a try. Lisa

All i had to go on was the entry on the bmd index plus there are only 2 cemetery's in the place he came from, so i spoke to the groundsman and he had books with all the records in for every one in the cemetery plus a map of every grave. hope this helps i will just add that on my visit the guy also found other rellies in that cemetery that i had not known about before so its always worth a visit. Roy

Oh, its big place then, I thought you meant just a churchyard. I guess the council would be the right people, but well, if it isnt used now - are they going to notice?