Genealogy Chat

Hi Helen, I had a daughter in 1968 who I had to have adopted. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. When I met my husband I told him about my daughter and that I intended to find her when she was older. I registered with Norcap when she was old enough to make enquiries of her own. I also contacted the Social Services in the town she was born. All the information she needed to contact me was left with them and eventually I got a letter from Norcap saying they had been contacted by her but needed a copy of her birth certificate to confirm this. My daughter and I have now got a wonderful relationship. If you phone Norcap the people there will give you information on all the possible ways you may find the help you need. I hope that makes sense!! Good luck in your search.

Hi Helen As the old saying goes 'You can pick your friends......' Glen

Hi Glen, What a horrific set of circumstances. Glad you are here to tell the tale! I will try the website suggestion and see if I can get anywhere. You bring up a very interesting point Mandy, to be honest I'm not even sure I want to meet her but I would just like to know a little bit more...... It's like theres a big piece of the jigsaw missing. Strangly enough, my Dad had no interest in finding his family and felt that his mother had abandoned him. I think this had a lot to do with him generally being an unhappy character. Sometimes violent, certainly volotile and he found it hard to forge relationships. I think there was a feeling that if he searched for his birth mother, he would somehow offend his adoptive parents. Perhaps I am lucky that because of my parents divorce at such a young age, I don't really feel any sense of loyalty in that respect.

Hi Helen I'm sure you will appreciate that it is going to be quite difficult to trace your late father's birth family, because there were - and still are - various rules and regulations in place to protect adopted people and birth relatives. However, as a starting point you could contact your local Social Services department. Even if it's not the same area in which your dad was adopted, they should be able to give you some basic advice. You could also try Norcap's website - they are a registered adoption counselling charity/service www.norcap.org Please don't assume that because your birth grandmother was 'forced' to give her baby up she will be pleased to have contact with you now. Some birth mothers are very traumatised by having to give their baby up that they push the events out of their minds and get on with their lives. Others, of course, just don't give a damn. Every birth mother is different, so please be prepared for this. Best wishes Mandy :)

Hi re would you want to know you had grandchildren...... My birth father went around the country ruining lives like you couldn't believe,he broke up at least nine marriages and left at least 12 children to 10 different women across the whole land. In my case as soon as my mother fell pregnant he beat her silly several times,(not that uncommon with his other partners either) and nearly cost me my life because of one really savage attack when my b/m was just seven months pregnant. Some people would be curious as to know what happened to their offspring,but with this 'character' (hardly a man by any stretch of the imagination) he just didn't give a hoot. Glen

oh and i said he was adopted circa 1961, he was born late 1960.

Well actually It's not just for my children, it's obviously my own curiousity. I wasn't particularly close to my dad, my mother divorced him when I was 3 and he didn't really make contact til 2 years before he died. I do have 2 half sisters by his 2nd marriage and I think that it's important to all of us to know where we come from. He died aged 40 of cancer, I think there are some pretty important medical questions that need answers also! If you gave birth to a child when you were 16 and forced to give him up, wouldn't you want to know that you have grandchildren and that your own child is deceased? My own children are 2 and 11 months, but I realise it could take several years to investigate. I HOPE THIS ANSWERS ALL OF YOUR QUESTIONS????

helen, you say your father - the adoptee , is now deceaced, born C 1961 - dont you know when your own dad was born? i think you might find accessing his adotion records very hard, even with the change in the law Social services are reluctant to divulge info i case like this, How old are your children? surely they are decended from you and your husband, and that is all they need to know until such a time as the are in their late teens or so, is it really worth confusing them? My mother has altzheimers and blabbed to my neice and nephew that their dad wasn't her son - one very confused 8 year old grandson - my brother doesnt want to know, so cant answer Boys Q's Jess

thanks re: the adoption website, will give it a go!

Hi Helen I'm sorry I can't answer your question. What I would do if I were you. Go to www.adoptionsearchreunion.org.uk and click into locating records. This will guide you to who to approach and ask if they can help you. Good luck with your search. Cheers Gerry

Hello there, I was wondering if anyone can help me? My father was adopted shortly after his birth circa 1961. I know that children who have been adopted can try to find their biological parents. However, my father is now deceased and I wondered if anyone knows how easy or difficult it would be for me to try to find them? I have my own children and I think it's really important to know from where you are descended! Many thanks in advance!