Genealogy Chat

I must admit I've given up worrying about thank yous. I just make sure I do it myself. Thank you again everybody for all the help. Your second post just made me laugh Glen,you just have to. I've had some very funny contacts who leave me bewildered. I always try to answer every request but some seem to think that you are the source of family tree info and not the records offices etc. (I'm smiling right now) Jackie Now Glen there's a few things you need to look up for me.........

All that l can say is that if some-one gave me a marriage partner and date for a person on my tree plus census information that l had been unable to find due to mistranscribtion, the least l could do would be to say thank you. Thank you Pam.

While I agree that a lack of simple manners is unpardonable, I do think that the system is not very helpful to the newcomer. The Hot Matches look very exciting first time around, and there is no guide to etiquette on GR. I didn't at the beginning see any reason not to share my tree, nor did I at the beginning see any reason why somebody else would be less willing to let me see theirs. It is a difficult one - as I said, Please and Thankyou never hurt, but some of the other behaviour can, I think, be forgiven as ignorance of etiquette. Mark

How about this for rudeness. I had a hot match with a member, and it looked good, so i sent a very polite email enquiring about this person in our trees, and got this reply================ ' What's it 2 u' Regardless to say i did not reply.

Hi All, I just couldn't help but add my little moan too. A simple Please or Thank You goes a very long way but unfortunatley some folk on here don't understand those 2 simple words, I wonder whether we should feel sorry for them as it must be the way they were brought up, or arn't I allowed to say that now???!!!! Thankfully 99% of us were brought up to be polite. - and continue to use our manners no matter how trivial it is to some folk. I often get a request such as 'I want to see your Tree', with no previous communication or comment. I've even had requests to view my tree when it's obvious there is no match. When I ask them why they wish to view where there is no match - SILENCE. I'm learning to be a bit harder and am trying to ignor inpolite messages. But to the rest of us, THANK YOU for reading my moan, thank you for your hard work and dedication in offering help and advice. And PLEASE may it continue. Wow!!! that was free. Now I must just say it again just coz it's free, Thank you to you all. Kind Regards, Lou

Well the one person came back to me very quickly when he noticed l had someone in my tree that he was interested in, but once i had imparted with the information - SILENCE!!!! Pam

Pam, days is a bit unfair. Not eveeryone is as devoted to the hobby as we are. Some a previously stated only check perhaps once a week or so. I start moaning after a couple of weeks. Mid you I had a funny one this week 3 months after I had sent a message I had one back saying yes it is the same family! Pauline

Its just plain bad manners. Manners dont cost anything! Susan

I too have given information out within the last few days, and am still waiting for a thankyou. This concerns two different members. It is just very bad manners. Pam.

I always remember doing a cenus lookup,got what i'm pretty sure was the right person (name of son,father and mother matched,father had the right occupation etc,but son was consistently two years adrift from his age via marriage cert). I saved four images and had to ask for the correct e-mail addy three times to send it.Only then did i get a message to say 'wrong family,son born 1899 NOT 1897,it can't be him he is definately x years on his marriage cert!' Three months went by with no thanks or anything then suddenly i got a message with a very courteous first paragraph saying how fantasticly well i had done with the RIGHT family,and all the birth refs i trawled for were in fact the correct ones,now they need the same for the five siblings,and the spouses thereof. Not 'could i' more of 'you will',sorry but it's one i didn't chase after,i did reply with 'i'm sorry but i can't because of commitments etc',but that went unanswered. Glen

What I especially like are the people who demand. You know, something along the lines of 'Contact me if you have Ann Brown in your tree'. In these instances I simply don't! (There hasn't been a connection either!!). Victoria

Over the last couple of weeks i have posted a few tips replying to questions,and expanded on the answers via PM. This morning i have had two messages with the results that the members have discovered.While they are not connected to my tree,they both share an area and time period with my tree. Sometimes just knowing that your ideas have helped someone and knowing that something good has happened is better than struggling away with your own brickwalls. Glen

Maybe if you put RSVP at the end of your mail, there are still some that wont respond. Rod

I've had a mile of help, both on the boards and through email,after finding names in the searches. I have always sent a 'thank you'. Reading these replies has made me feel better about it, because I sometimes felt it might annoy people to have to open another email just for a thank you. Now I'll keep doing it.

I can't imagine not saying thank you for something that is so valuable to me. aren't people strange? or do they get distracted and forget? Ann Glos

I so agree with everyone here. I have become very cautious too. I always untick the box to view my tree when emailing. I too have sent numerous documents to someone very keen to view them and then nothing. No acknowledgment, no reply. I have left it a few months and tried again as I have a contact who I know is linked to this person. They have emailed them. Nothing. I always try to be polite, to reply to emails even if not connected. It only takes a few minutes. On the other hand there are some lovely people on this site who are so very helpful and kind and I am forever grateful to them. Pam.

sara can we have one more please for an oncore lol hazel.

HEAR, HEAR!!

Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou Thankyou ThankyouThankyou for all of your replies!!! Wow that was easy! Lol Sara

hi all,i agree with you it's so easy to say thank you it does'nt cost anything, it's the same when you send a message to someone who you know is related to you and they dont anwer, it makes my blood boil lol hazel.