Genealogy Chat

It's entirely up to the individual of course but please be careful before giving any Tom,Dick or Harry (sorry if your name is Tom, Dick or Harry!) permission to view your tree without first establishing what the connection is.

Some months ago, GR advised me of a possible match and I contacted the said person to see if we could establish what the connection was and whether or not we could validate the match. I received a reply which simply gave me permission to view said person's tree. I attempted to do so but due to the many thousands of names on their tree, I couldn't view any of the details.

I politely wrote again, asking what the said person thought the link might be as I had been unable to view their tree and explained the reason why. I received a curt reply saying that due to the vast number of names on their tree, they couldn't be sure what the connection was and they hadn't got the time to find out. The gist of the message was "don't bother to contact me again as I can't help you".

I let the matter go.

A few weeks ago I received a message from the same said person which simply asked for permission to view MY tree. I made no mention of our previous correspondence but replied asking for further information to establish what our connection might be before releasing permission.

I must admit I thought it a bit of a cheek.

I heard nothing back and then a while later I received another two messages only a few days apart which just read "Please give me permission to view your tree".

When I checked my sent message board,they hadn't even bothered to open my first reply and so I sent the same message back.

I suspect this person might be one of those "name gatherers" that I have read about and so I am posting this as a general warning to anyone - especially newcomers to the site - to be extremely careful before allowing someone to view your tree without first establishing the reason why.

I don't want to cause a fuss but politeness costs nothing.

My tree is of no use to anyone really...I gave up after a few weeks so it only has 50 people in it...I have my proper tree elsewhere.

Last person to say that to me would not give a connection but opened her tree to me even though I was not interested and as you said so many people in it I could not get it to do anything. I tend to look at her updates which happen on a daily basis which would amount to a few hundred a week added...I bet a lot of research has gone into that?

jax

People keep giving me their trees to look at. One person sent me a message with one of my more prominent surnames in the title and said we have a match and are connected and sent me her tree. That surname is not in her tree, I see her updates and still no mention of it. I replied to her asking for the connection and a year or so later followed it up with another message, both were opened . no reply and I continue to have her tree. She does not have mine, I am flummoxed and I think she does do her research properly as have checked some of them out, I don't think she is a name gatherer. We are probably all related over here anyway seems you can't move far without finding a relative of a relative.

Persie

This topic comes up fairly regularly. By all means take care who you deal with - but most of all enjoy your hobby and do what you are comfortable with.

I have been a member since 2003, since then have made contact with several 100's of members and in that time could count on one hand those who I have felt ill at ease with, but when they do turn up, they get short thrift and I delete the contact.

Currently, I share my tree with around 400 members, and in turn, can view around 600 members trees.

I only share after the exchange of possibly several messages which allows me to build up a relationship with the other person. The other criteria is that they must have proved they have a relationship with my tree.

Others I have not shared with but have sent the relevant details by email, where I have felt it to be more appropriate or convenient to do so. Most people are not there to copy huge chunks of your tree - in my experience, with as I said, over 400 trees shared, most members are only interested in their own little bit.

'Somehow she has connections to me via both my paternal & maternal sides (which is odd to say the least).'

I am not arguing with the rest of your points but I have researched Mum and Dad's trees and, due to being in the same area, have found connections going back in a couple of places. So a person could, I suppose, be related to both.
Sorry for your negative experiences though; it is good to be cautious. :-)

it seems to be getting like Facebook>>people trying to outdo each other,with the no. of "friends".....i get LOADS of requests from people asking me to be their friends! if i dont know em i ignore em!

Yes, PigletsPal, in that case very odd. I wonder if people are short on relations and ancestors and want to claim others as their own!

I watched QI and Stephen Fry announced that all Europeans have the common ancestor Charlemagne.

I have a contact of whom I thought was a contact on my paternal side and then a contact on my maternal side mentioned the same person and yes he is on both sides of my family. He does have access to my tree and I know he hasn't copied anything from it, otherwise he would have a lot more than the incredible amount he does have.
I think the reason both sides are there is because he has both his wife's family and his own. I have only looked at names that match... not the descent etc. His tree is so so so big I woudn't know where to begin.

Persie :-)

pigletspal...was interested to see you researching "new ross. eire" my husbands late brother and his family lived in newtowncommons. newross. co.wexford. what family are you looking into? dont the Kennedys originate round newross? we went to a big arburetum there(JFK park)

I don't believe it.

I have received yet another request to view my tree.....from the same person mentioned in my first post on this subject. When I looked at my sent messages, said person hadn't opened any of them!!

I think maybe people get hot matches and just send off a load of the automatic messages, then maybe don't know what to do with the response.
I wouldn't necessarily read anything sinister into it.