Genealogy Chat

sylvia: yeah they have opened the messages - I guess some people just are not interested in sharing information and are just interested in collecting it from others

hi sylvia,thanks for your advice,although i have done all that but still no response.it is evidently as you say they dont want to know but i do not know what they think i want off them.i really dont know what else i can do but wil try ancestry later.see if i have any look on there.gosh this is hard going but i hope its worth it in the end as i never knew either of my parents.kind regards sandra

Matt

Have the people to whom you have sent messages asking to see their trees actually opened the pm?

To check, open your Sent message box ........................... if the envelope is dark green it has not been opened. If it is pale green with flap liften then they have opened and seen the message.


Many many people have trees on here and are no longer members and often no longer interested in their trees .......... OR they have not informed GR of a change in email address, so they are not being informed that there is a pm waiting for them ........................... they are not even getting your message.


As for me personally .......................... when I receive a blanket "Let me see your tree". I will NOT do it, I ignore all such messages.


If you want to "see my tree" you have to send me more than that, I have to know WHY you might want to see my tree ......... and even then I will not open my tree to you. I will communicate with you, determine whether I think you have a real connection to my tree ........... and I will then extract information on those people and their ancestors and send it to you.


There are many people like me on here.

We've been bitten too many times.



sylvia

It's very weird seeing these posts as it is was on my trail of thought.

I am currently focusing on a specific branch of family that came to England from Ireland in the 19th Century and because of the unusual name know that everyone born in the place they migrated to have a high chance of being related. But some people on here just do not want to share their information at all. I've lost count of the number of messages I've sent out including information about my "twig" of the branch and people just do not respond. It is especially annoying when they have someone on their tree with the same first name, surname, date of birth and place of birth but just ignore you.

Why be on GR if you're not sharing information?!? :looks puzzled:

Sorry Carole

It does sound as if I am taring everyone with the same brush about name collecting. But every one I have ever come across with XXlarge trees has simply copied the info from other peoples trees with out regard to checking them over.For instance many of us have made mistakes early on in our trees and have then had to amend the mistakes. I was forced to scrap and re-research a whole chunk of mine once because new info came to light.
I had people copy my tree with these mistakes without researching the info for them selves and then post this wrong info on family search for all the world to see. And its still there today and its all WRONG.

For a person to say they have 10,000 names in their tree all fully researched and certificated must be a very wealthy person to shell out £7 per person/certificate. All my ancestral lines are certified as far as is applicable.

Simon

Just to add to this: I often get a message (first contact) with a request to see my tree at the same time. I always wait a while before allowing access and I don't ask to see another person's tree unless I have already opened mine for them.

Sandra

what you should do is send a pm to the tree owner saying something along the lines of


Dear so-and-so

I note that we have a Hot Match through GR. I wonder if we really have a connection.

My father's name is xxxxxxx, he married xxxxxx, and I believe he lives in xxxxxxxxx.

This is all I know, but I hope that you may be able to help me.

Hoping to hear from you.




DON'T send a pm just asking to see their tree


DON"T ask to see their tree until after you and they have established that there might well be a connection.


Don't forget that these other people probably don't know about you, and may not want to know!! Unfortunate I know, but that's what happens.




I will not respond to anyone who just sends the automatic May I see your tree


.............. and I usually exchange at least 3 pms with people before I send them any informaiton. This is to establish that we really are connected.

I have not opened my tree to more than a handful of people ................. and as I have said several times before ......... these are the people that I get Hot Matches with now!



sylvia

Sandra

If you have access to Ancestry, then with the information you already know, it may be possible to find further details on your fathers children.

In the post 1916 births index, just enter your fathers surname and the mothers maiden surname, nothing else. A list of their childrens births should appear. It's only if they have very popular names like Smith that problems may arise.

Even if you do locate the names, you should not place them on a public tree like GR as there is a good chance they may still be living. These should only go on your family tree program on your home computer.

Michael

many thanks to all the people who answered my question.it never occured to me that some-one would steal a tree, why ever would they do that. i have to ask to see a tree as i only have 3 things that i know about my father. one is his name, who he married and the city in which he lives,so when those 3 things come up in a hot match what am i supposed to do except ask to see the tree?i expect it might be a shock to his family but the only thing i want to know is just a little information on him.i do not intend intruding in his family, but at the end of the day he is my dad.i have waited 65 yrs for this, as i have only recently found out anything. once again many thanks sandra

Hi Simon

Can't believe GR would ask you to removed your personal photo because some other party does not like the look of it.

Surprised you complied. I would have asked GR to clarify the request as to how it would be causing any offense.
Might have been difficult for them to do so unless it was a full body shot with no clothes on. Now theres a thought!!!!

I agree Carol.
I also have over 10000 people on my tree but I have researched it.
I have never used a gedcom because I do not know how. I find it fascinating working a line back to a small village and then seeing how the families are inter connected. I add a new person and then want to find out about his family giving me confirmation that my details are correct.
I am certainly not a name collecter.

There is also the question of identity theft. Unless you hide living relatives (and even that's not foolproof) anyone you allow access to can find out your mother's maiden name and when/where you were born - the standard questions banks ask you for identification. Not only yours, but your siblings' and children's too. Don't think that GR members wouldn't do that sort of thing - every community has its rogue elements.
So my tree on GR now has just names and birth years with living relatives hidden (uploaded as a gedcom as you can't leave birthplaces out otherwise). The tree with all the details stays on my PC. This means people can find matches and contact me if they're interested and I can then decide who I share information with when I'm satisfied they're genuine.

i have 10,000 people on my tree. most of which i have spent the last 5 years or so adding. on the whole i have found these people myself from various sources paid and unpaid. if i find someone i put them on it seems rude not to somehow. just because someone has a larger than average tree does not mean that they are 'stealing' info from other people. i am always happy to use my sources to help people, even using my pay per views in scotlands people and 1911. as well as my subscriptions to sites such as ancestry and geneology . by the way i have had this done to me. a little annoying but only because they put my children and other youngsters on without asking......

Hi Simon

on the good side is letting new genuine family member see your tree, I got a contact last week from my grandfather's youngest brother's grand daughter, she and her family are thrilled and have given me new information including a copy of the report of my great grandparents diamond wedding which was in a local paper.


Cheers Annabel

Hi Annabel

I agree it is so unearthing to open your tree to a person who has many thousands of people in that tree. I only have a 1000 in mine and , gosh its cost me the earth in time and cash.

I love to share info with the people that truly seek it ,but to hell with the "name collectors" I can not be doing with them,..........scrounging , penny pinching *********.!!!!

That's right Jim

If it needs to be hidden then it should not be there in the first place. This is a forum for people to share info if they wish to do so and if asked.

any tree information that I do not wish to share is stored on my hard drive for myself only to view. I am displeased that a person has had access to my tree and finds a photo in it displeasing.

I removed the pic just to please GR and keep things level

I sent two messages to some one who had members of my great grandmothers family on hot matches, they read the messages but did not reply' so I asked to look at their tree which they let me , no wonder they could not tell me their link to my great grandmother's family, over 10,000 in their tree , no way was I going to let them have excess to my tree so they could add them to theirs.

Annabel

You know what ,Simon.You are so right about "hiding living relatives".
I am thinking about removing access to anyone who uses it.
It is a sloppy method of presenting a tree.
There should be nothing in the tree that needs hiding.

Yes perhaps thats what I could do DET , but If you choose to hide living rellies on GR , it hides them for a couple of generations back.

I have access to peoples trees that have hidden their living rellies and to be honest , some of the trees are not worth looking at because its hard to follow who belongs to who !

I feel that the person who was not happy with my photo should have talked to me about it , not GR.

If they were not happy with it then I could have blocked them from seeing it, problem solved.
But I do not know who it is and they still have access to view my tree.
I'm so broken about it !

How's about this one then !

I am quite proud of my tree, it has taken me thousands and thousands of hours work not to mention the cost in traveling and purchasing info ! I dare not tell the missus how much it costs.

I open my tree to people to help them and I help as much as I can with people who contact me for help.

Then I get a message from GR telling me that a contact does not like the photo/title that is beside my name in my tree and finds it upsetting. I thought it was a laugh myself. I had to delete the photo and title to please a contact that I only wanted to help in the first place.

I am so paranoid now about opening my tree to anyone because of this incident.

Simon