Genealogy Chat

I am wondering if we should be that quick to help someone looking for a living person, not knowing any circumstances at all, or maybe one side of them. I have looked into a thread on here and decided not to give any assistance, that's my prerogative I know but I think it's a situation that's best left alone.
It's our human instinct to help and given our hobby then finding people is what we do best.
There could be any number of reasons whay someone chooses to not have contact with another person and who are we to interfere, what does everyone else think?
Sam

I don't and I wouldn't.

I'm sure that most requests are genuine but I do worry about where there might be cases of domestic violence or messy divorces and custody issues. That's the trouble.

Jill

I agree Jill, I'm sure most requests are genuine, but for the one that isn't, I stay clear.
Sam

I don't

& I have been shot down for asking people on to put living peoples datails on here

Facebook is ideal for this. If the person is on facebook you can approach them and they can decide whether to have contact or not -worth a try. SO is Plaxo and other social networking sites such as My Space

Yes, Ive felt rather uneasy in the past reading some of the requests and indeed one today made me feel very concerned.

I ask the poster to give the reason for the enquiry........

I advise trying friendsreunited

And www.192.com

I think the one to which Heather refers is the one I reported..........having already had the identical request removed some days ago..........

I helped one person a couple of days ago......but only to the extent of finding the correct spelling of the surname of the person she was looking for. And it was obvious from the posting that the enquiry was genuine..............

I cringe when I see bmd info on here about living people.......even their home addresses, in some instances.

If I was the person concerned, I'd be thinking of taking action!

Typical!

Someone always has to trivialise serious issues.

I saw a thread on here last night and was worried people may reply to it, I saw it again this morning and was dismayed to see 2 replies.
Now I am sure this person is telling the truth BUT we don't know this person and they don't know us.
Violent ex partners go to extreme lengths to find their rightful property ie- their partners,children etc and that is what worries me about looking for living people. They will stop at nothing in regaining control of these persons who have had the guts to flee in the first place.

If these people are not on the electer roll it is because they have had special permission to be excluded from it.

If it was a genuine request then I think it should go through the proper channels ie- solicitors, family law then it will be dealt in a professional manner and hopefully a happy result.

It's a sensitive issue, I often wonder about how genuine the request is and long ago decided not to search living people.

I did a bit of googling on the person/thread I am thinking of and that convinced me to leave well alone.

No, I wouldn't. I think it is unethical. There are ways of doing this sort of thing and I don't think that this would the right way.

OOh! I,ve got a problem!
I was about to post on the "Trying to Find Board" and then I read through your thread re-living people.
I am trying to arrange a Reunion for my college year and we are still missing about 9.
Most will now be married and ofcourse I only have Maiden names.
Are there any of you good people out there that can help me?
There are only 2 of us on FR, I had started there.
Those we have found are thrilled "To be found" nothing sinister behind this I can assure you.We are all now in our late 60's ( and all female ) as we started in 1958.and 2011 will be 50 years since we qualified as Physiotherapists. Have tried our professional body.
I tried to register with Facebook but gather I will only be contacted by people on my address list.
Idid get onto Plaxo and then got a message from someone in Nigeria.! so cancelled that.
Any help will be gratefully received.

Big......... !

Can you not put the names you have on the TTF board explaining why you are wanting to find them ?

Like others it is the "trying to find my dad/mother" with personal details that worry me !

I have not and will not spend time looking for living relations, especially "looking for mum/dad"


....... although I have suggested occasionally that electoral rolls in the local library or 192.com should be checked



I was horrified to see the details given in those two threads!



A couple of years ago, I did ask one person on these boards to check 192.com for me for a living person .......... to make sure that person was still alive. The information was sent to me via a pm.




sylvia

BigOomsonaboat
You can search anyone on Facebook, it's not great for people with common names though as you can end up with 500+ returns.
Sam

I hve 'accidently' looked up a living person - and now am duty bound not to let her child know!
A friend of my daughter's mother left him when he was 5. He doesn't even know her maiden name. One look at his birth registration (he only has a 'short' birth certificate) showed me her name. Quick look on Friends Reunited - and I have found her!I
Her son doesn't want to know her - so I have to keep 'Shtum'
Certainly wouldn't do it for someone I didn't know!

I have an aquaintence whose son was murdered a number of years ago and the people responsible are due to be released soon. It's imperative that they do not find out where she and her daughter live. Can you imagine one of these people asking in a "genuine" manner for help finding them...and getting the help?

Sue

BigOomsonaBoat.

If you are looking for people for a reunion you could try the local newspaper. Most are online and frequently have forums

Quinsgran,Smiley and Elizabeth,
Thank you for commenting on my problem.
As all are from different parts of the country our task is going to be quite difficult.
Face book will be followed up.
I am now concerned about putting them on TTF as my Husband feels it is an invasion of their privacy, it being a public site.
Privately 2 very kind people on here have offered some help, so onwards we go.
Will keep you posted.