Genealogy Chat
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MEETING UP FOR THE FIRST TIME
Profile | Posted by | Options | Post Date |
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Michelle | Report | 8 Feb 2009 13:58 |
can anyone give any advice on meeting up withmy relations for the first time i was adopted my b mother does not want to know but her family does how do i handle this |
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Sheila | Report | 8 Feb 2009 14:34 |
Hi Michelle, |
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Michelle | Report | 9 Feb 2009 01:03 |
No they are being very forward since november i have had cousins aunts uncles and grandmother phoning me it makes me reel i was raised as an only chid will no close reletives none of them have a good word to say about my bm and plenty of bad it is all very sureal to have family after 38 years |
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Michelle | Report | 9 Feb 2009 02:12 |
I ALREADY MADE CONTACT WITH BM THANKS TO GR A FEW YEARS AGO AND SHE MADE HER FEELING QUITE CLEAR so what the rest of the family say is of no surprise i am so nervouse and half the time i do not know what to say when they phone me yet they seem not to be unerved by all this they are trying to be reassuring about me being family which is very nice however i am still uneasy |
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Dave the Tyke | Report | 9 Feb 2009 09:22 |
Hi, |
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Shannette | Report | 9 Feb 2009 12:19 |
I've said it before on here and i'll say it again--go for it. I did and have never regretted it. I started 20 odd years ago before the internet and have had loads of ups and downs over the years. My birth mum also didn't want to know for the first 12 years as she hadn't told her husband or children but an aunt was kind enough to keep the contact going a nd act as middleman till the time was right. To date I've met aunts uncles cousins and one sibling and always take things at their pace whcih can be hard but by doing the family tree I've learnt so much and most of them are eager to help when they can .I'm 58 now and still waiting to see my mum but love it so much when I get emails or ecards from my siblings.Good luck. |
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Petrina | Report | 9 Feb 2009 12:22 |
I think if it were me that I would start with just one person - perhaps a Grandmother or Aunt - and if that went OK at least there would be someone you already know when confronted by the others! |
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Janet 693215 | Report | 9 Feb 2009 13:33 |
Don't let them rush you. Take it at your pace and try to meet somewhere neutral.Perhaps a Wetherspoons pub or something like that where if you don't want to stay you can make your excuse and no one will feel pressured into waffling on if it goes quiet . Take some copies of photos of you growing up. |
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Sheila | Report | 9 Feb 2009 13:48 |
Hi Michelle |
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Golfman | Report | 9 Feb 2009 15:19 |
Hi Michele |
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Michelle | Report | 10 Feb 2009 12:39 |
just to say thanks for your advice |