Genealogy Chat

Bit of a moan really.

I found some really interesting information about a family not related to my own, which I was willing to pass on.
I spent a little bit of time and effort and found what I think ( actually I'm sure) is a match to this family on here and have sent a couple of messages.
I know they have been read but no reply - not even a 'you have got the wrong person go away'.
It's their loss obviously but manners don't cost anything :(

So my tip is - please respond to messages - you don't know what you might be missing out on!

I agree.

I'm always tempted to add to the thread saying...

BMD certs cost £7. Ancestry membership costs abt £80.

A THANKYOU costs...nothing!

Just a question;
How did you find out that the messages "had been read"?

I know when you have spent time helping others it can be frustrating not to recieve a reply asap, but sometimes its just a case of them checking out your data, or more likely have read the message but have other demands on them such as work and family commitments, I know for a fact I get a good ear-bashing if I'm on the computer for to long. As my husband likes to point out if the infos out there with regards to past relatives it will still be there another day, but your here and now folks are ever changing and moving on.
Sometimes as I've noticed you get a response a couple of weeks later.

Tracey

there are lot of people on here that have not paid so cant relpy

if you want a reply add a email address for your self

just a hotmail one will do and see if you get reply

I might add an email address and see what happens.
If someone sent me an email with the offer of some info, I think I would pay the £7 if I hadn't already.

I could tell the message had been opened as the envelope icon had gone from closed to open.

and who precisely would you be paying the £7 to?

I can see where your coming from, but to be fair you don't have to put yourself out there.

I think Pochantas means that if she wasn't a member and somebody contacted her with info, she would pay the membership fee.

Well if she could afford to pay a membership fee in the first place, why wait until someone contacts her with info.
One thing to remember is there are a lot of these sites out there requiring membership fees, you sign up to one maybe two, hit a brickwall and have to ask elsewhere, when I have to do this I have said thankyou and really appreciated the fact that someone put themselves out for me, whom they don't know from Adam.
But at the end of the day genealogy is an expensive hobby, that is time consuming and for whatever reason not everyone can stay welded to their computer screens for vast chunks of the day or weeks.

I don't think my original post implied that I had asked them for money - I certainly haven't asked them for money. Just wanted to pass on some possibly useful info that they probably haven't seen before.

In my later post when I did mention money, well Potty got that in one - If I got message about my tree and I wasn't already a member, I would join. I just got the price wrong sorry.

You don't have to pay a membership fee to reply to a PM. the only thing you can't do if you haven't paid is to post on the boards and initiate contact by PM.

I think that lots of members or otherwise just dont know HOW to reply!

I have lost count of the times i have had to explain in detail about how to return to your thread(question) and leave a reply.

Gerri x

There was a thread on records yesterday, someone had some info on a possible rellie, asked for help, was given refs (via Scotlandspeople, so someone had used credits) and they decided the cost of the cert and the time involved was not worth the effort.The name, place and year given with the ref were exactly as asked for but it is less then 100 years ago so the cert has to be applied for, cost £10.

At least they replied to their thread but when someone spends time and money helping someone else then reads the reply posted it makes you wonder whether it is worth helping next time.

Glen

Could also be a case your messages are held because the registered email address used is no longer valid?and unless they inform the site of a change it will not get any further than GR outmail box,

Yes this is one of my pet hates.

Not just on GR but other sites when people ask for advice whether to do with DIY, household, general knowledge, illnesses etc I reply to their posts and I know that they have read them as their online signature or profile says their last login date and time and I see them on the Members Online index and they dont bother to acknowledge my replies.

I think it happens to us all at some stage. I dont expect a standing ovation but even if they dont know how to reply a simple "Thanks hun" or "Thanks for the advice" would be nice. It is tempting to tell them about manners but some people are perculiar and might think you are stalking them, or being rude etc, when you are not, you are just telling them a thankyou costs NOTHING.

Some people take the time to help others yet are not always given any thanks for it.

Ben

I've just checked and as soon as you send a message to someone the envolope appears as open. (I have a free account on here as well as my paid one)

I HAVE NOW GIVEN UP - There is always members writing on subects such as this - offering 'excuses' as to why a person has not responded. Whilst there may be the odd genuine reason, in the main most recipients are just plain ignorant, and rude. Cost cannot be the problem - e-mail cost nothing. Time is also free!

I cannot imagine these people opening their door one day, and a person is stood there with an envelope full of their family tree information. They take the envelope - don't say 'thank you' and slam the door in you face.......or would they!

I think most replies have not been making up of excuses but reasons why a reply is sometimes not got,

be patient replies can come in months after so dont give up of never getting one,

Kay??? Any person offering help should NOT have to wait for months to get a reply - this is my point, and that of many other members who have been ignored....There REALLY is no excuse for ingnoring an offer of help -it only takes a couple of minutes at the most