Find Ancestors

Posters looking for help are allowed to

- ask other people to find things they can easily find for themselves (if they spend 15 minutes reading the boards, even, to learn how to find things)

- give information that is flat out wrong and invite strangers to waste time looking for more information to help them, that can't be found because the starting information is wrong

- ask strangers to help them with their searches, and never bother coming back to see the help they have been given, let alone thank anyone for it

- not bother spending 5 minutes to learn how their questions will be answered (on the boards) and how to find those answers on the boards

- not bother spending 15 minutes reading the boards to see how the process works before asking strangers to help them find information

- not bother giving the information they do have, that would stop helpful strangers from going off in wrong directions based on the scant information they have given

- delete threads, for absolutely no reason, that helpful strangers have spent time and effort contributing information to, without even giving the helpful strangers an opportunity to see that their information was read and appreciated (even if such acknowledgement is given)

- request the same information multiple times, thus inviting different helpful strangers to waste time and effort doing what has already been done

- not bother spending 2 minutes reading the rules/guidelines for use of the message boards -- when a link asking them to do that appears right alongside the box where they compose their request for help

And I'm sure we could go on.


People who spend time, effort and money offering help to other members are not allowed to

- delete their posts if they find that, after a reasonable time, no acknowledgement has been forthcoming (I don't myself, and I don't recommend it, but I won't get all hot and bothered about those who do)

- get annoyed when they find their time and effort has been wasted by people who do any one or more of the things in the first list above


This is apparently because:

- people who ask helpful strangers to put their time and effort into finding information for them are, in most cases, just incapable of doing any of the things in the first list above - although somehow they are perfectly capable of finding this message board, posting on it, and generally undertaking family history research

- people who ask strangers to spend time and effort helping them find info have delicate constitutions and suffer severe emotional distress if anyone points out to them that they are behaving unfairly / impolitely

- the various possible personal problems of people who ask strangers to help them (they have sick family members, they have disabilities, they are just very very busy and can't be spending all their time monitoring the threads in which they asked strangers for help) must always be taken into consideration - and we should always assume that people who behave in ways that look just plain rude in fact have sick family members, or disabilities, or are terribly busy with very important business, or are just too thick to figure anything out

while, on the other hand,

- people who offer their time, effort and resources to help other people have no feelings whatsoever, and should not expect any consideration whatsoever from people who ask them to devote their time, effort and resources to helping them


That is how it seems to me.

it is there Jonesey.
what makes you say it didnt last long.

What new heading ?
just off for a gander.

Thank you for the english explanation ladies.

I was brought up on sarcasm by my dear mother and her mother ,but that one eluded me there,wakey wakey viv
And what is the one that goes with sarcasm being the lowest form of wit.
The pen is mightier than the sword
well thats only true if you have the way with the words to write.
I must learn faster
I must learn faster.
This late education is harder than early education.

it may be the lowest form of wit but I love it!!!!!

well I know where she's coming from!! and what's with this new heading - Welcome to the Genes Reunited Community Boards?

Well Evie those pearls of wisdom have gone right over my head.
In english?
please.

Members who volunteer their time, skills, resources and effort to help other members: placed under a microscope.

Members who ask other members to use their time, skills, resources and effort to help them: free pass.

Always remember: people who want other people to help them are sensitive human beings with human weaknesses; people who choose to help other people are automatons with no feelings or flaws allowed.

GR doesnlt seem to have any policies at all!!!

hi everyone I havent had my hand slapped yet for deleting posts, but in my case sometimes I need to, I specifically try to help lost children and adoptees for personal reasons.

Sometimes when information is found and on here, after thanking everyone I delete it which gives the adopted child time to get intouch with the person concerned instead of seeing it on here first. (and by this I dont mean live information which will be detrimental to now but could give an indication that a family is being searched for)

Not everyone deletes out of rudeness, what does GR say on deleting threads what is their policy does anyone know?

hi everyone please dont let the minority over power the majority, as well as being a helper myself, I depend on help myself.
I always say thankyou on the board itself and send a p.m.

its a lovely day here hope it is for all of you

Cynthia Today at 09:44 Request review
One of the petty things I have found on this site - apart from the 'who thanks whom' business, is when a researcher deletes information they have found simply because it hasn't been acknowledged. It sometimes appears that the deletion is done in a fit of pique.
______________________

That's me & if that makes me petty then so be it

One of the petty things I have found on this site - apart from the 'who thanks whom' business, is when a researcher deletes information they have found simply because it hasn't been acknowledged. It sometimes appears that the deletion is done in a fit of pique.

Ok, I know it is bad manners not to reply and thank everyone etc. etc., but.......the person who has asked the question may be ill, called away or simply, as is more often the case, unaware of how to find their thread again. I would prefer to give them the benefit of the doubt rather than get annoyed with them.








On the subject of members who are well versed in all things genealogical, what has happened to Glitterbabe? I put up a thread asking this just before Christmas and discovered that she had had a bad fall and damaged her knee but I don't think she has returned......or am I wrong?




Can anyone remember the name of the Enid Blyton book where a group are stranded at a railway station overnight but manage to have a wonderful time? I vaguely remember they were able to cook a meal because of pooling their resources from their luggage. I can still smell that frying bacon!!!

here here Jonesey. well said. Why would anyone want to mascarade as someone else...maybe it's best I dont know!



x

Cant believe after all my pontificating that I forgot to say thanks for the explanation of why people delete threads!

thank you everyone it now makes sense

x

One point I do take from this thread is that email can sometimes be misread..I'm not defending being rude but with email there is no tone/bodylanguage so it can be hard.

I sometimes respond to people in the middle of things (Like when I'm marking assignments..it allows my brain to work!) and they are succinct but I always put a 'x' at the end so people dont think I am beign rude or abrupt.

This may not be appropriate for some posters, so maybe a :) might help.

I have been 'picked up' on a point or two that I have made and when I have appologised I have received no reply...now thats rude, if you are going to 'nit pick' on someones posting then at least acknolwledge when the poster appologises.

Katie there are no 'daft' questions on here babe, you can ask what you want, we've all done it so dont worry. If I see a post a from you, I'll respond with a 'x' You keep on asking most of us on here good people.

x and another for Katie x

roflol!!


now there's a name from the past



and I agree with all that evie said


uh uh

mutual admiration society!!

You took your time woman
Take no note of her Katie ,shes not as scary as she makes out ,and deffo not as scary as Ricochet.

Come back Ericthered all is forgiven.

I'll echo everything Sylvia said twice over.

There's no answer to your question, Ginny - because there is no good reason to delete a thread.

(*Unless* sensitive/personal info has been given that it isn't wise to leave lying around cyberspace because it's information about living people who don't know it's here. In that case, saying it will be deleted and then leaving it two days, so anyone who contributed can see that the info was read and acknowledged, isn't going to hurt anybody.)

There isn't much more frustrating than doing a search, composing a post, clicking submit and being told the thread is now invalid. I always use my back button to get the thread back, and send a message to the poster to point out why this is frustrating to others.

These boards contain a wealth of information that doesn't really belong to any individual -- it's collections of historical info, and *other people's work*. I think deleting threads is plain rude. All that needs to be done is to add a post at the end saying thanks and I'll be able to carry on from here, like.

As for starting new posts, don't like it. But yeah, okay, sometimes they've got really long and do contain tangents and wild goose chases that came before the real info was found. The thing to do then, if starting a new one, is start out by giving the URL of the old thread, so anyone can consult it, and reproducing *all* the relevant info in the new one. Just saying "my old thread" doesn't help anyone. No one here keeps someone else's ancestry and posting history in their head.

Old threads don't take up room on your computer. They sink to the bottom of the board, and of your "my threads" list, and don't bother anybody. And someday, somebody else may see them and learn something they are looking for.


Ricohet? Yeah, I find him abrupt -- and if I do, well just imagine. ;) But it usually happens in reponse to abrupt requests -- very little info, no indication of any effort by the poster to do their own work, and no actual request of the please variety. And he often comes right back with info to help with the request anyway.

And I dunno. If people are reduced to tears by what somebody says to them on the internet, they might want to consider another way of communicating.

Or -- paying a little attention to who all these people are whom one is asking for help, before starting. An hour spent reading posts on the boards, and noticing that everybody else here is a human being too, is time well spent.

I think I must have read every Enid Blyton pubished up until about 1956 or so ......... I used to spend Christmas money every year to get the latest one, and then borrowed others from the library


Poor old Noddy is now non-pc!

I read most of them also when I was a child and am still an avid reader,so she has done a lot of good for a lot of people I woud say.